Monday, August 29, 2016

Monday Musings

It's official....we are married!

Yes after almost a decade together we are now legally recognized as husband and wife.

The outdoor ceremony was more beautiful than even we imagined, the vows I wrote for us turned out perfect and think what best sums it up is the song I chose to walk down the aisle to...A Thousand Years.

Heart beats fast, Colors and promises, How to be brave?
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?
But watching you stand alone,
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow.

Yes that's how I felt.  Suddenly the doubts, the nerves,,,it all seemed to fall away.  At that moment some how I just knew. The beauty of the moment felt overwhelming. Truthfully wanted to just stand on the path overlooking the ceremony for awhile and take it all in.  We could not have picked a more beautiful place to marry.  While the weather was rather hot and humid at 94 degrees, it was sunny and warm so for that everyone felt grateful.  

After all the searching, even returning the first dress, the dress I picked was perfect for a summer wedding.  It fit my personality and the material was just light enough to handle the heat of the day. Compliments for the dress were overwhelming.  It wasn't a typical heavy, beaded gown and it had an airy, summer feel to it. Honestly it felt princess like. 

You hear people say it goes so quickly, but you have no idea how quick.  All the planning for months, even though it was a small wedding for family and close friends we barely got to talk to all those who attended.  Our only wish is we had more time to socialize with all those who joined us on the special day. 

Even taking photos seemed to go so quickly.  Trying to get everyone at the spots the photographer wants to take photos isn't easy.  Making sure you have the photos you want is hard to remember. Even now I'm not sure I got all the photos, at all the places I wanted but it was just too hard to even keep track of.  With all that was going on right before the ceremony we forgot to get a photo on the deck over looking the golf course. 

There was one hiccup which delayed the ceremony by half a hour.  His mother and sister's hotel lost  electricity and being his sister his disabled they could not use the elevator. So they were texting us during photos asking what to do, it took me telling them to call the fire department to figure it all out. So that's exactly what they did and they were able to get them to the ceremony but not without it being delayed half a hour.  It would not have been our wedding without something crazy happening!

To hear the man say it was the best day of his life warmed my heart.  He left a lovely hand written card for me to read before the ceremony, even the priest who read it to me because with my contacts in I could not read anything close, exclaimed he felt I hit the lottery with the words the man wrote.

It's amazing to look back on our first date, all the years together the good and not so good, how we have grown as individuals and a couple.  Still remember the moment when I  read Patrick's first email to me on myspace back in 2005, something about his look and the emails we exchanged made me feel there was some kind of connection....who knew it would lead to this.

Life is full of surprises, and my dad's speech at the wedding said it is short, appreciate every moment, have fun and love one another. 

Thursday, August 25, 2016

The Idea of Marriage

Things are getting real....we applied for our marriage license and the wedding is just a mere day away!

After almost a decade together in some sense it just seems like a formality, seriously after this long together one begins to feel they are married and pretty much everyone treats us that way anyway.  We have been essentially living a married life.

Some couples seem to rejoice in all things wedding together that hasn't exactly been the case here. Though the man wanted a true wedding as opposed to eloping he's not much into the planning.  And I'm just not feeling the emotions thought might come along with getting married. Such as feeling over the moon or whatever else. I've been feeling rather nervous. Again that might be all the stress of moving and the overall year talking though.

Think the stress of this year has my emotions and thoughts pulling in a thousand different directions.  We've had so much going on this year that think the wedding even took a backseat too often to everything else. Truthfully think actually living the good and bad over the years made me indifferent to the idea of marriage as time went on.  The older I get just realized it wasn't as important as it seemed when I was say in high school.  A piece of paper isn't the key to love, the real key is in the effort you put into any relationship. 

Also think the commitment phobic part of me might be panicking just a tad.  Ya know the whole idea of making such a commitment not only legally but before God is a big deal! I joke about that movie the runaway bride yet there's a part of me that can relate to what she might be possibly feeling. The idea of a soulmate sounds romantic the idea of commitment on the other hand can be some what scary too. Though I'm hoping for everything to be all roses the reality is love takes a lot of nurturing, understanding, compassion, honesty, hard work, compromise, respect, going out of your way for the other and so on.  Relationships are like anything else you get exactly what you put into them.

Being that the wedding is just a day away it's becoming real.  Of course pre marital stuff seems to keep popping up on my facebook feed, when reading some of the questions these articles pose I some how come back to the ways in which we are different. Think the two things I have a little concern with are the ways we are different eventually getting in the way and hoping we can sustain a very affectionate connection as time goes on.  I'm an overly affectionate chick who the man already has a hard time keeping up with.  After almost a decade together he is still trying to keep up with little ole passionate me! ha

It's also interesting to look back on past relationships too, to the vast array of those dated that led up to this point in time.  The people that stand out and the ones that friends have to remind me of.  There were two long serious high school sweetheart who went on to play college football at Miami and the Olympic rower were the longest relationships during my younger years. Scattered in between were other relationships just not as serious or long.

It's easy to look back now and laugh but used to find myself jumping into relationships with cute guys only to find myself jumping back out 6 months later when I either felt bored or realized there just wasn't a true connection.  Used to try to picture myself married to them, when I couldn't realized they probably weren't the ones. Some I wanted to be attracted to as they were the perfect nice guys who would have made incredible life partners but I just wasn't.  It's always interesting how that works.

There were some genuinely nice guys, sweet, loving, fun and unfortunately probably maybe too serious for what I was looking for back then.  Think I used to drive my family crazy as they truly liked a few of them. Then there was surfer guy who truly left a mark on my heart.  It's probably after him that I went a little astray when it came to love, causing me to look at love just a tad different and seek other things than say just a soul mate. It's amazing how one moment or experience can influence every one after. 

Now as I think back to those dating days, it's amazing how my idea of marriage has changed over the years.  And that maybe all along I did suffer from a fear of commitment or fear of better options.  The man constantly jokes that I have fobo syndrome they love to use that term on some appliance commercial here.  All kidding aside think there is probably some truth to that, hence why even the idea of marriage may have scared me a little. I'm the chick that can't even make up my mind about paint colors. ha  Or maybe I spent too much time comparing everyone I met to the first love, who knows.  But it's just amazing to look back at the path I took.

It's just hard to believe it's upon us.  Where has the time gone.  After all this time together feel like we should be celebrating our anniversary not just getting married.  It's just so crazy to think about being someones wife now not just girlfriend or fiance.  My dad says out of all the crazy things I've done and experienced in my life, and there have been plenty, getting married is probably the most sane or normal. Gotta love my dad! ;)

Even though it's technically just a piece of  paper, you still hear how people say it sometimes changes things, if it does here's hoping it's in a positive way!

Ummmm...future husband if you ever decide to read my blog.....a happy wife would equal something like this....lots of kisses (everyday would be divine), respect, honesty, help out without me having to ask, fun, less tv more adventures together, live in kindness, show a genuine interest in what I have to say, fix things around house sooner rather than later, don't judge just try to understand any differences that exist or may arise and oh yeah don't forget to shower me in love!  That would be a great start. :)

Okay....let's do this.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Deeper Love

With just two days left until we officially say I do came across this post on social media written by Joel Almeida today.  It's amazing how messages or things seem to come into our life exactly when we need them.  I've been feeling a little nervous about getting married, pondering the idea of love and especially deeper, lasting love. So when I saw the title of this article felt as if it was speaking to me. Thought it was rather enlightening. And such things are worth sharing...

10 Powerful Tips for Building a Deep, Lasting Love

“We are a work in progress with a lifetime contract.” ~Phyllis Koss
The priest at our wedding advised us, “It’s not enough to say, ‘I want to marry you’ just today. You’ve got to be able to say that every day.”
Problems and challenges in life can be like the wind, which blows unpredictably. You can’t control the wind, but you can learn to set your sails and to make repairs.
We’ve now been married for thirty years. Life, with all its ups and downs, has taught us a few lessons about building a lasting romance.
Here are ten tips that seem to help. They’re probably relevant whether you’re just starting out or have been together for decades.

1. Keep developing yourself.

I used to be keen on improving my partner. Then I decided to try and develop myself. That helped.
The more I cultivated the skills of living in the present moment and calming myself when distressed, the more our connection flourished. The more reliable and conscientious I grew, the more romantic our connection became.
Nobody’s perfect, but we can all grow steadily beyond our unhelpful habits. If your partner sees you trying to learn and grow, it encourages them to do the same. It also infuses your relationship with hope, whatever the problems and challenges.
Seeing yourself as a work in progress makes you more confident about acknowledging mistakes and apologizing. Apologies carry healing power.
None of us is set in stone. Scientific research shows that what we choose to do regularly can change even our brains. Developing yourself may be one of the best ways of nurturing romance.

2. Cultivate compassionate love.

It may be tempting to snap at your partner when you feel annoyed. However, you can communicate your feelings without being rude.
Compassionate love is the opposite of impatience, rudeness, and anger. You’ll enjoy more intimacy and get more worthwhile stuff done if you recognize that your partner has a mind, desires, and struggles of their own. Even if they can meet a request, they might take longer than you’d like.
When I’m on the verge of erupting, I like to visualize a bridge over troubled water. That helps me to be more patient.
Every relationship is like a perpetually young sapling that requires constant protection. Treating your relationship as sacred can boost your motivation to grow in patience and kindness.

3. Be responsive.

Being generally supportive is helpful. However, the most powerful form of support is providing what your partner requires in a particular situation.
For example, when my partner was panicking while racing to meet a deadline for a Master’s thesis, I tried to assemble scattered manuscript pages and was generally helpful and encouraging. Those little, responsive acts brought us closer together.
It’s an attitude of “What do you need from me in order to flourish?” That nurtures romance.
Likewise, ask for what you need. That’s better than expressing irritation. Your partner deserves a chance to try, even if they can’t always meet your requests.

4. Learn to tolerate unpleasant feelings.

Practice observing your own unpleasant feelings, whenever they occur, without letting them throw you off balance. Try focusing on your breath, instead of your unhelpful thoughts, until you feel calmer.
Unpleasant feelings are often produced by chemicals, which come and go. If you learn to recognize and tolerate the temporary chemical spurts, you’ll keep your balance better. Once you’re calmer, you can more easily look beyond your immediate, unhelpful thoughts.
It also helps to remember that our partners aren’t wholly responsible for our unpleasant feelings. It might seem like their actions are the sole cause, but sometimes their actions merely trigger some greater pain from our past.
Calming yourself when you’re distressed is one of the best gifts you can bring to your romance.

5. Adjust your expectations.

I was once approached, out of the blue, with an amazing job offer in another country. However, it was a bad time to uproot the kids. After we discussed the pros and cons, I declined the offer.
Life can throw up many areas of disagreement: handling finances, philosophy of life, cherished values, major one-off decisions, household chores, leisure, careers, friends, and more. The more flexible each partner can be, the better the chances of agreement.
Forging a consensus is more helpful than holding grudges. It’s also okay to agree to disagree on less-than-crucial points, if that helps you get on with the rest of life.

6. Focus on what makes you feel lucky.

Don’t seize every opportunity to criticize or blame your partner, lest you drive them to extreme defensiveness. Share how a particular intolerable problem makes you feel and what behavior you hope for instead. But ask without becoming too shrill or raising the temperature unnecessarily.
If you find yourself feeling frequently annoyed by little things, it may be a sign that you need to address underlying issues in your relationship. The sooner you discuss this, the better.
Treat your partner’s mistakes as you would treat the errors of a good tennis player who’s just played a bad shot. Don’t rush to damn the whole person. Be quick to apologize for your own errors and even quicker to forgive an apologizing partner.
In our relationship, we now tend to overlook shortcomings that might be apparent to others. We focus more on what makes us feel lucky about having the other. For example, I love how adventurous my partner is, how resilient, encouraging, optimistic, and forgiving. Express appreciation at every opportunity.
A forgiving and appreciative mindset helps nurture romance.

7. Look after your health.

Our minds and bodies are closely intertwined. Our bodies help us express romantic love. You deserve as healthy a version of yourself as possible, as does your partner.
Eating nourishing meals instead of grazing on sugary or packaged snacks, taking frequent stand-up breaks during prolonged sitting, and exercising regularly can all help transform your health. When you’re good to your body and brain, your well-being becomes a gift to your relationship.
Of course, age eventually erodes health. Romance can, and often does, survive the challenges of ill health. But a few simple practices can keep you healthier for longer.

8. Reassure yourself.

Reassure yourself so that you become more secure in yourself. This helps to foster mutual respect. Reassure yourself with kindness and forgiveness for mistakes.
Becoming secure in yourself also helps you to see your partner with new eyes, with less critical glasses, as appreciative outsiders might see them. When you learn to soothe yourself, you’ll probably like yourself despite life’s unavoidable ups and downs. Then the electricity of romance will more easily flow between you.
The kinder and more forgiving you are toward yourself, the more readily love and positivity will overflow into your relationship.

9. Feed each other intellectually.

Exchange ideas, discuss and debate interesting things, do an occasional joint project, share stuff that makes you laugh. Give your partner the heartwarming gift of your undivided attention from time to time.
There are times when we’re talking and gazing attentively into each other’s eyes when I become acutely aware of how lucky I am. It’s like souls touching.

10. Make time to play together, often.

Date nights needn’t be major productions. Just a little time together, temporarily shielded from troubles and challenges, can help. We have pleasant, relaxing mealtimes several times a week.
Here again, the ability to calm yourself is invaluable. Then you can show up as a playful individual, fully present in the moment, eager to express affection and passion.
When we were newly married students, we used our meager savings for a trip to Brazil. The adventure created priceless memories. We still love to travel together or to go hiking nearby.
Shared adventures bring surprises and excitement, helping to boost romance. You don’t have to go to Brazil. You can set aside a little time throughout the year to explore nature and activities near you.
Your relationship might be far from a fairy tale. That’s normal. We’re all just human beings, trying to make life sparkle despite all our flaws and shortcomings.
Think of your relationship as a boat on the sea of life. Storms will happen; winds will blow where they will. Do your bit to learn and grow, treat yourself with kindness, ask for what you need, be responsive, be playful, forgive, make repairs whenever necessary, and stay hopeful.
The tips here have helped us nurture a thriving romance, through thick and thin, for thirty years.
Lasting romance is one of life’s most fulfilling experiences. It’s possible, and it’s totally worth reaching for.

Monday, August 22, 2016

Monday Musings

After weeks of hot, humid weather the temperatures have fallen but they say it's only for a few days. If there is such a thing as perfect summer weather it's this.  Sunny, cool breeze and only 80 degrees. Last summer we had much more days like this.  If only it could be this amazing all year. 

I'm running out of steam so not sure how much writing will take place.  Today involved painting my office room, two coats of lavender.  I've been prepping the room for what feels like days.  My dad actually helped paint the ceiling as that angle is a bit too much for my brain to handle.  The walls were in rough shape so had a lot of patching of walls to do as well.  Even though I used a paint with primer the walls ate up the paint so two coats was a necessity.  

After a very busy weekend it wasn't something I was exactly looking forward to doing.  But there are boxes of my office stuff stacked in our hallway and family room downstairs so needed to start putting together the room, which made no sense to do until it was painted. All I have left now is touching up the white woodwork. Oh and the door, whoever lived here before us made a mess out of the door. There are holes all over it, eventually we will replace it but for now it's all about patching up and painting it.

Saturday we spent the morning trying to set up the living room and dining area.  Then my mother and I had to deliver some stuff to the place we are getting married.  And after that we headed to Walmart to do some shopping and even made a stop at Lowes.  By the time evening came I was ready to do but lay in bed.  

Sunday wasn't much different as my parents delivered some of our furniture that we had been storing at their house.  The man wasn't up to helping so I ended up moving most of it with my parents.  By afternoon felt very sore but there was more to be done.  Since my sister was also coming by we had a mini pizza party first.  Then it was serious business as the girls took to putting together the wedding favors.  My niece got right to work, she in fact was producing more than even we could keep up.  Girl power!  When everyone left there was still more wedding stuff to be done, it's crazy how much last minute things need to get done.

Again by evening I could barely move. Honestly not sure how I even cooked dinner but ate dinner in bed.  Afterwards watched some Big Brother and pretty much just wanted to sleep.  The soreness from lifting, moving, mowing and painting is really starting to catch up with. It sucks that that the man fractured his foot as there is just so much to be done.  And even without the fracture the man prefers to rest on the couch more than do work around the house.  It's why us buying this house should be interesting because he is going to need to step up and do more than he ever did when we were just renting houses.  Just not sure if he truly realizes the work involved in owning a home.  

There is a decent amount of lawn to cut and weed whack, which he really needs to stay on top of.  I tried to cut the lawn the other day and it was a monster to do.  And overall just a lot that goes into maintaining this size of a home.  So much for the tiny home the man kept talking about, when it came down to it we seemed to choose the house with the most square footage. I'm already writing lists of what needs to be done, and the man is already settling too comfortably into the couch. ha

Ahhhh....the ways in which we are different are rather comical.  After painting the office in one day the man told me I was beast.  Yes think my beast mode is hard for him to understand, as I come from a family that doesn't stop until the needed work gets done.  They don't exactly believe in resting as much as the man does.  In fact think pretty much everyone in my family is puzzled by his need to rest and watch tv as they just aren't accustomed to doing that, especially if there is stuff that needs to get done.  They are more on the go types, hence probably where I got it from and exactly why the man and I to butt heads sometimes as his type b personality drives this type a crazy some days! ;)

Anyway, that's enough for now.  It's hard to believe there are only four days left until the wedding. More to come on that. 

For now Cooper looks how I feel, ready for a nap!

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Monday Musings

One word for the weather here, steam bath.  The heat indices are reaching 115 and the air conditioners are running non stop.

Overall the week was incredibly busy.  We had house painters here Monday thru Thursday.  The guy who owns the company is actually a friend of mine from the college days.  He was able to fit us in rather last minute when another job got postponed for a few days.  The man broke his foot Monday night while leaving work.  We are still trying to unpack the house which was delayed even more with all the painters here and his foot crisis.

This weekend was busy as well.  Friday we had to pick up my sister and mother's dresses for the wedding.  Then we came back to our house for free pizza and soda which our mortgage company gives to their clients when they move in.  My family all got to hang out for a while which was nice.

Saturday I continued to work on the house but also had to focus on wedding stuff too.  My mother, sister and niece went out for a bridal dinner.  With everything going on this year my family kind of ran out of time to hold a bridal shower.  It's funny as I didn't think it would matter but I did feel kind of disappointed because the idea of a bridal shower at this age actually sounded fun.  That kind of girly stuff appeals to me.  But for some reason it just didn't come together so just got to move on.  At least we had a nice dinner together. :)

The man was suppose to be going to his bachelor party Saturday but with breaking his foot they cancelled it.  He would have had to drive to New York and all the standing/walking on it would not have been good.  Think he was disappointed as well but in return he got to lounge on the couch all weekend which is essentially his favorite thing to do.

So turns out neither one of us got our bridal shower or bachelor party.  Like I've said it's just been the craziest year.  It really felt like such a whirlwind of activities and events.  Sometimes think it might have been better to wait to get married until things were a bit more settled.  At the moment there are just things that are making me feel rather unsure about the whole thing.

Sunday the man laid around all day while I trimmed trees, worked on wedding stuff and continued trying to organize the house.  Breaking his foot like he did sucks as he when he isn't working he is pretty much a couch potato to begin with so this just gives him an even bigger reason to never leave the couch. It may be a while until the new house gets officially unpacked and set up!

One thing I've always noticed about the man is he talks big.  Like when we were in the process of trying to buy this house he had big ideas and plans for it, but when it comes down to it all those idea it's another thing.  He's great at talking but not doing so much. Pretty much as soon as the tv is hooked up in our new houses he falls back into his couch ways.

Anyway, the move has taken a toll on Cooper.  Much like after our move last year at this time his stomach is a mess.  Believe it's a combination of poor food choices and nerves.  He's thrown up all over the new house carpet possible destroying it, and now has the runs bad.  So as soon as we can get an appointment it's off to the vets.

My cousin's husband passed away after only a few weeks of being diagnosed with stomach cancer, they checked him into the hospital a few weeks ago and he never left.  How does that happen?  We forget how precious life is, how quickly things can change. Brings so many questions to mind.

Truthfully all I just wrote isn't really scratching the surface of how I feel lately.  My thoughts have been much deeper, on past and present choices.  Am I really happy with the life I've created and who I have chosen to include in it?  If it wasn't for the dizziness not sure the choices would even be the same.  It's taken me awhile to discover the truth in life, to really be able to look at things with a new perspective.  Now that I have feel like I'm done with the crap, done with people who bully and play games, done with those who can't open themselves up to love.  Anyway....

These are my favorite moments lately.....

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Half Unpacked

Recently a few friends bought houses too, they would say after a month or even two how they were only a quarter unpacked.  It made no sense to me as usually with rentals I had them set up in a few weeks but I understand now.

There are many ways buying is different than renting a house.  When you buy a house you want to take the time to make necessary changes, repairs or whatever else before completely settling in.  That's where we find ourselves now.  Carpet needs to be cleaned from prior owners cats, walls needed to be painted colors we found soothing, even just figuring out how to best utilize the new space is going to take a little time.

Old furniture doesn't exactly fit the same way and we may have to just buy new items that do. There are projects we want to tackle....such as ripping up carpet and restoring floors, fixing fencing and installing higher privacy fencing for our little guy,  painting some more rooms, fixing up each of our office rooms and so on.  All that stuff takes money and time.

Which is exactly why it will take longer to set up the house than in previous moves.  My type A personality though is already getting impatient.  Just want to do it now.  Waiting is the hard part, and with the man's broken foot the house may take even longer to set up.  So I'm going to have to learn some patience. Remind me what exactly is that again?

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Broken Foot

Yes you read that correct. The man broke his foot.  With less than 18 days and counting until our wedding!

He called me on his way home from work yesterday to inform me of the pain in his foot.  He expressed concerned that he thought it would be broken but I wrote it off thinking it was just a stubbed toe.  Honestly don't think I wanted to face the reality that came with a broken foot.

Somehow leaving work as he was walking up concrete steps his right foot stepped on the back of his flip flop causing the left foot to crash into the concrete.  As it did that there was a loud crack, enough to warrant the girl who was walking behind him to gasp in horror.

The perks of working for a laid back starter company are getting to wear flip flops and shorts in the summer.  Right now it isn't seeming like such a perk.  One look at it when he arrived home and I knew he was right.  The whole foot was bruising and swelling up, even around his ankle didn't look good.

Then came the discussion on what to do and where to go for help.  Urgent care or emergency room. Urgent care won out because it only costs $75 as compared to the hefty ER fee of $350.  Upon arriving they immediately did an x ray on the foot.  The x ray showed a straight line break on that knuckle bone before the big toe.  The doctor even said there could be more possible damage that wasn't showing up on a standard x ray.

They were going to send him to the hospital as due to him not being able to feel his toe they felt he might need surgery.  But after consulting with an ortho doctor who felt he needed to wait the night to see if any sensation came back in the morning they released him. Of course with instructions to follow up with an ortho doctor the next day.

Hence he followed up next day with a ortho who informed him he fractured his foot in three places, if it doesn't start feeling better in two weeks he has to come back as there could be ligament damage. For now the doctor put him in a big boot that comes right below his knee.  His bachelor party for this coming weekend was cancelled, now it's a wait and see game regarding how it will be for the wedding.

I'm very worried about his foot, and pray for quick healing. Also feel somewhat disappointed as the thought of him being immobile for 6-8 weeks especially given we just moved is rough, but not being able to fully enjoy wedding festivities kind of sucks too. Given we waited almost a decade to marry it's all pretty crazy.

Yeah I guess it could be worse but everyone is just feeling a little down about the whole turn of events.  What a year so far!

Monday, August 8, 2016

Monday Musings

Well we actually had a week of perfect, summer weather, it was a refreshing change from the heat and humidity that has been dominating.

My writing has been suffering lately, a combination of being crazy busy and trying to avoid the computer due to the dizziness. Yet when I do get the chance to write it feels so good to just let my thoughts out. 

Big news....we officially bought our first home and have been moving in over the week.  Moving again in just a year has been exhausting, chaotic, nerve wrecking, exhilarating and even scary in some ways.  After renting houses for years, and living in various places we decided to put some roots down.  Even just saying that brings up feelings of apprehension for someone who has spent most of her life moving around. 

While renting sucks in many ways, it also had some perks like being able to pick up whenever one feels like it and try somewhere new. Or never getting bored of one place. And of course when something might go wrong being able to call someone else and let them deal with it.  So giving up some of that feels strange.

The man took a week off from work for the move, and he probably could have taken even more days. We had stuff piled everywhere, for the first few days we could not even move in the house and stayed at my parents house while we worked at unwrapping and moving everything into place. By the end of the week pure exhaustion and crankiness set in.  It will be awhile until we have everything organized, and now I understand those friends of ours who said they still aren't unpacked after months of living in their new homes.

Still trying to find room for everything especially all my clothes and shoes, which suddenly seemed to surprise the man.  What I need is a professional to come in and find ways to create more storage, it's sometimes nice to have an outside opinion of such things. The man dislikes a lot of furniture around but I feel we need more storage options too.  I even filled two bags of clothing to donate!

We initially thought we would paint the house ourselves, but after painting two bedrooms and a bathroom we quickly gave up on the notion and are paying a friend of mine who owns a painting company to paint the main rooms.  I don't mind painting but the tilting of my head to edge with all the dizziness issues wasn't going so smoothly.  So while I hate not to be able to do it myself it's better this way, even if it means spending money.  Ugh I hate spending money on such things. ha

For the first time we have a family room, living room and working fireplace. Though the bedroom closets are a little smaller than previous houses.Not sure what I'm going to do with all my clothes. But we have a lovely paver patio in front and back to sit outside and enjoy.  Plus a nice backyard for planting a garden!

Between moving, and the wedding less than 20 days away I'm filled with so many emotions it's too hard to possibly put into words.  The list of things to still do is long, how is it we have been together nearly a decade yet in one year, not to mention in the same month decide to buy a house and get married.  It's really crazy! 

Feel like maybe we should have waited another year to get married so we could have savored the process a little more instead of feeling so rushed and stressed to get everything accomplished in a certain time frame.  But it is what it is so we just have to focus as best we can.  We had a budget so we planned a small wedding for those whom we feel closest to or have really made an impact on our lives over the years. At most there will be 70 people.  I felt mixed about that number as usually so many of the wedding we've been to were so big, yet the idea of an intimate wedding felt right.  In fact I wanted to have a beach wedding too but the logistics of it all just felt more difficult for others who would be attending, and we really wanted those people there too.

On another note our living room is on the second floor and you can look out the window and see the sky which is nice.  Instead of looking out into the street we see the clouds, sky and trees....nature at it's finest!

Anyway, that's all for now just trying to put my thoughts into memories to look back on. 

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