Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Monday Musings

That beautiful warm Spring like weather that graced us back in February has been replaced by chilly, rainy weather that appears stalled over the mid Atlantic.  Oh how I long for sunny, warm summer days.

It's been quite a week here.

On Wednesday I became an aunt again to a sweet, little baby boy named Dylan.  He is absolutely precious. After a high risk pregnancy, not to mention a bout with the flu and pneumonia everyone felt some what nervous on the day of my sisters scheduled c section.  Luckily everything went okay, though Dylan is only 4 lbs.  He is so tiny and amazing!

Given all my sister's body has been through she is very sore and still experiencing a decent amount of pain.  It's not easy having a c section and trying to feed a baby every so many hours. I admire her resiliency and strength. Battling the flu and pneumonia a month before giving birth was very taxing on her body.  Hoping she will lean on us and other extended family for help as she recovers, I say hoping because we come from a very stubborn family who tend to push themselves a little too hard sometimes.

My parents who are 69 are still working full time, they won't even take sick days.  Their work ethnic is truly amazing.  That's on top of taking care of their house and property.  My dads always out cutting the lawn even with a bad knee.  And they rarely ask for help. I would say my sister takes after them in many ways. But I'm hoping she will ask for help, even if she doesn't I'll keep pestering asking if she needs help. ;)

Wednesday I wasn't able to get up to the hospital to visit her due to a vertigo attack that awoke me early that morning.  Rest assured though I made up for it by visiting her twice on Tuesday and spending eight hours hanging out with her and my mother at the hospital on Saturday.  Holding Dylan brings such a calming feeling, literally could snuggle him all day.  I felt completely in awe and filled with such love for him. Babies seem like such miracles, and gifts from God or a higher power.  It's been two days and I'm already in Dylan withdrawal.

Thursday we also toured two houses, fell in love with one for which was rushed to put in an offer.  It just seemed like the perfect house for us, and seemed even too good to be true.  Felt such an adrenaline rush could barely sleep.  Our realtor called us Friday morning to inform us that they would have a counter offer later.  So we waited all day only to be told later that evening that their realtor couldn't get in touch with the owner, which we pretty much thought was bs.  They were just waiting to see if more offers came in.

And of course they did, so they came back explaining 3 offers had been made so did we want to change ours.  Basically they were creating a bidding war, something we can't even afford to take part in as we had offered as high as we could go.  We found out later that someone offered 11 thousand over asking price and the owner accepted. Needless to say we are disappointed.

Trying to buy a house in a sellers market feels extremely stressful.  Too much stress as of late has really been affecting my body, couple mornings woke up in a complete flight or fight type of state....thought my adrenaline would never stop flowing.  Ever since that vertigo attack a few weeks ago I've been having the worst time especially sleeping.  It's absolutely crazy how one bad attack can set any progress I make back months.  I try to put on a good, happy front but inside I feel incredibly frustrated and worn down. Not sure even the man comprehends what I go through sometimes.  It's extremely hard to understand how there are no cures for such things. All the technology we have yet still so many physical ailments and conditions remain a mysterious.

The man went to New York for the weekend to meet his friends for the Mets vs Giants baseball match up. Sunday I met up with the father who is performing our ceremony, also decided to sit in on mass at their church.  There is something comforting and spiritual about sitting in church, especially the older ones with the beautiful stainless glass windows. Feel like I've strayed away from my spiritual side over the years, its something I need to focus on more.

It's not always easy with these dizziness struggles, as sometimes when suffering or seeing others suffer you begin to question your faith.  And all the larger questions that seem to go with it.  It's hard to understand how any God could let animals or humans suffer.  Suffering is the one thing that seems to question my faith more than anything. But that's a whole other topic for another day.

Any time on the computer is too much time for my brain so it's time to get off it and rest it for a little.

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