Monday, April 11, 2016

Monday Musings

April snow showers bring May Flowers?  That's been our weather lately, and I've become impatience waiting for mother nature to warm the air and allow Spring to blossom.

So let's talk...when I started this blog my intention was to share my life, adventures, experiences, thoughts and whatever else.  To me it was a journal where I could share the truth, whatever that may be or look like.  But the truth is harder to share than you think at times.  It's hard writing about the nitty gritty that may happen in life.  Some of which people interpret differently, or the feedback that I may not want or care to hear.  Then again that comes with the territory of sharing all and not holding back ones experiences or thoughts.

There are some days where I would love nothing better to write a fairy tale love story or blog focusing on some wonderful, amazing Cinderella love story like a few blogs that quite honestly seem almost fake.  But truth is the man and I live in real life, with real issues and differences, our love hasn't always been all fairy tales and romance.  Sharing our imperfect love story with it's very real moments isn't always easy either. But that's what a real journal is all about.

This weekend was one of those it felt incredibly challenging. With our wedding only four and half months away it came as quite the surprise to learn there may be a hiccup in the man's recovery. A hiccup that has the potential to derail everything. His ability to tell the truth, to live in the truth is about the only thing that can save the derailment.

Life can be crazy. It seems moments of happiness can at times be fleeting. It's like the rainbow that disappears before getting to savor it's magnificent beauty.  Learning how to remain happy despite the difficult moments of life is the challenge part of the journey. More importantly learning how to remain calm to prevent the flight or fight reaction from going in over drive is even more key, as such kind of stress can have a detrimental impact on the body.

The week wasn't much easier, as after a brutal vertigo attack on Monday I was left with chronic dizziness all week that made it incredibly hard to sleep, drive, walk, even watching tv was difficult. I even had to skip doing my favorite Woof Wednesday post.  Those are the most difficult moments.  Finding the strength in the midst of the chronic dizziness that can set in after a vertigo attack is incredibly hard. No one seems to understand how horrible it feels and incapacitating it can be. It can make it's suffers feel rather alone at times.

The stress of it all lead me to seek out mass on Sunday evening.  After calling around I found a Catholic church with an evening ceremony, and perfect timing I might add as made it in 10 minutes. It brought such profound peace to be surrounded by the holiness of a church.  The mass was actually much more crowded than I thought it would be. Guess I under estimated peoples faith these days. Even stayed afterwards to pray at the alter.

Sometimes I wonder if the difficult, stressful and turbulent times in life are meant to draw us closer to God.  Could think of no better place to turn than to put everything in the hands of God.  Who else knows the truth better than him.  Who else to seek guidance and solace in. Think I stared at that alter for a good hour hoping for some miracle of healing, or maybe sign from above.

It doesn't get much more honest this Monday. Yet some how have to trust that faith, hope and love will guide the way.

Of course there's this little guy who fills my world with love and kisses. Protects the house and us by barking like a mad man. He's got a charm and personality all his own.  He got groomed today, not his favorite thing to do nor is he cooperative at all during the process but all cleaned up he's quite a cutie! 

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