Monday, March 14, 2016

Monday Musings

It's overcast with rain here today, the dreary weather rather fits my mood.

Interesting as over the years I've become almost scared to feel happy, as whenever I felt happy things seem to drastically go wrong or change for the worse.  It's why I don't often talk about the real happy moments on here afraid that some how even talking about them will ruin them.  It sounds silly I know but I'm being honest. It's almost like I want to box up those happy moments and just keep them to myself.

So recently when I started to feel happy and rather excited about life, where I felt like the difficult times were finally starting to be put behind us....a fear came over me, thinking that everything is going too right, almost too good that it would be ruined some how.  Yes I realize one should not think like that, some would even say just thinking like that will bring on the bad. It's something I have to really work on changing...to believe that happiness can actually last.  Or at least simply ebb and flow.  Anyway, sure enough over the week the happiness felt was overshadowed by a shower of rather not so good stuff.

Over a week ago my sister came down with the flu during her high risk pregnancy, which today we learned has developed into pneumonia.  She spent the day in the ER, ran tests... even a chest x ray. They gave her a breathing treatment and IV antibiotics. If she doesn't improve within the next 24 hrs they will admit her. To say we were worried about her and the baby is an understatement.  Hoping that everyone could say some prayers for her and the baby.

And as I mentioned in a post last week, I myself was at the ER for severe abdominal and back pain. For which they had no definite answers as to why. I've had the pain for over a week now but instead of getting better it's gotten worse.  In fact it seemed to intensify over the weekend, so followed up with my primary care doctor.  She is worried since parts of my abdomen are tender, the back pain has worsened, feel nausea and turns out I have a fever.  So she did some tests which will take at least 2 days to get back and is sending me for an ultra sound tomorrow. Guess one or two things showed up on the abdominal scan for which an ultrasound was suggested.  Of course I'm feeling very nervous now too!

The week was low key due to not feeling well, didn't even work out as the doctors said to rest. The man went to New York Friday night for the Big East tournament, a bunch of his former frat brothers in college were all meeting up for the Villanova game.  We were originally going to go this year but when the opportunity came up he decided to go since he hasn't seen many of them in a while. Saturday and Sunday basically involved a lot of rest, little work but mainly just computer stuff.

Then on top of all that my vertigo medicine went missing from my purse.  Yes the very stuff I keep in my purse in case of a vertigo attack while away from home. Who would do that right?  I mean you have to be pretty low, heartless and maybe even verging on sociopathic to take another's medicine. A very important medicine I might add.  Given I keep impeccable track of all medicine, even going to the trouble of locking it up it makes no sense, and I'm pissed!

All I can say is shit is hitting the fan this week!

Wish I had happier or more uplifting things to write about but it's just one of those weeks I guess. Life seems so full of ups and downs.  Sometimes the moment you feel you have made it to the top of the mountain life sure has a way of bringing you back to the bottom.  Can someone please throw me a rope so I can easily climb back to the top again! 

Btw, what does one do when feeling blue...well of course they paint their nails blue. ;)










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