Wednesday, July 1, 2015

In The Wee Hours

It's 3am here, a storm woke me and the sheer loudness of it scared Cooper.  So I came downstairs in the hopes he would settle down as the noise of the storm might not be quite as loud as upstairs. Of course now I can't get back to sleep because my mind won't shut off. 

The wee hours of the morning are notorious for analyzing and obsessing over anything that might be overloading the brain or body with stress. Or well it seems like that any way.

Truth it's the second night of being up this early.  Cooper's been moving around a lot at night, growling at noises out the window which awakes a light sleeper like me.  But honestly think stress is taking the biggest toll on sleep right now.

Life feels like one big rough patch lately.  Between the incessant dizzy spells which won't seem to let up, the stress of trying to find a house (we have less than a month now to find something), trying to train Cooper, handle the responsibilities of all around here and then deal with the man's attitude which seems all over the place lately.  Relaxed/sweet one moment, uptight/impatience the next.  Sometimes think his inability to effectively communicate creates a lot of unnecessary stress.  I know it has with the house search.

If I'm being honest he has made the house search rather a nightmare.  After we leave a house he seems to shuts down won't discuss the positives vs the negatives.  And his silent mode he loves to go into is getting old. 

Which reminds me I didn't even write a Monday Musings this week.  Friday we stayed in watched tv.  Saturday we ate an early dinner then rented Gone Girl.  Very interesting movie. Sunday we looked at a house, took Cooper for a walk and though I wanted the man to help me run errands he wanted to spend the rest of day relaxing, aka watching tv.

While opposites may attract it can also complicate things.  For instance his procrastination and desire to sit on couch watching tv, clash with my do it now and lets have fun personality.  Even our communication styles differ....I like to talk it out, he prefers to keep it all in.  Our house search is revealing differences as well. He likes condo style places that come with no work (not all that surprising I suppose), those feel more like apartments with too many restrictions.  I like houses that feel like homes which allow gardening, have a porch to enjoy nature from and cooper a yard to play in. The differences worry me some times.

Just wish we could find a house we both loved, as right now the stress of the house search is taking a toll.  In fact I believe moving falls into the category of major life events, and is considered a top life stressor....now I understand why. 

Illness is considered a top life stressor as well, along with debt and changes in employment.  So basically over the past few years combined we have experienced many of the top ten stressors.  Then again is there any one that hasn't?  But why does stress have to take such a toll on sleep.  Ugh you think it would be the opposite the body would compensate for all the stress by wanting to go into a deep sleep. ha

Anyway, the storm has subsided and it's growing even later so think I will try to catch a few hours of sleep before the little man wakes me up to go outside and do his business.  At least this was semi productive as I got to vent which is actually important and a healthy way to relieve stress.  Life is what it is, and suppose we all just have to make the best of it.  There will be ups and downs, some how we just have to learn to ride the waves effectively.

Speaking of waves sure hope if I can get back to sleep at this point that I dream of a beautiful beach, which gorgeous shells and nice waves. Those are the kind of dreams that make me smile in my sleep!










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