Friday, April 17, 2015

Hello Communication

There are those that are so bent on talking they forget to truly listen.  The type that while others talk they aren't really hearing what they say, only hearing what they want to hear.  Instead of  truly listening they either selfishly tune others out or are so focused on their own reply or opinion that what others say gets overlooked.

Tonight I had one of those experiences.  Trying to talk to a poor communicator is basically like banging one's head against the walk, it's just pointless and accomplishes nothing. 

As I tried to open the doors for open communication, to discuss a subject that this person and I don't see eye to eye on, but with whom I would like to work out a mutual resolution, they just shut down.  Were talking childishly shut down and refused to talk. 

We have tried to unsuccessfully talk about the same subject before but just as tonight it can't seem to be discussed like adults and a mutual compromise or resolution reached.  This person doesn't get the idea that one can hold an adult conversation in which people disagree and actually work on reaching a resolution both parties can be happy with.  Hello compromise, a very important aspect of any relationship be it personal or professional.

Yes it's one thing to have maybe talked about it in past but if a mutual resolution hasn't been reached than it's worth trying to discuss until both parties can reach an understanding of sorts instead of just retreating into silent mode which causes more long term harm than good.  Trying to ignore it only harbors resentment or negativity to grow.

But I'm learning there are people who for one reason or the other just don't understand how to communicate effectively. Or maybe they selfishly just don't care. Suppose their are numerous reasons for poor communication, too many to even go into right now. ha

Just feel very disappointed that this person couldn't have been more understanding and been willing to simply open the doors of communication, talk about how a mutual understanding of sorts could be reached so both of us could feel content.  That's what good communication is all about.  And when communicating these questions can be helpful too.....

1 comment :

  1. Here's apiece of advice. The silent treatment can be destructive to relationships, John Gottman included it as one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse in relationships. In other words, it is a relationship buster. While some may use the silent treatment prior to learning effective communication skills, narcissistic manipulators often repeatedly use it to control, punish, test boundaries, avoid accountability and avoid discussing unpleasant issues.


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