Monday, June 9, 2014

Monday Musings


This Monday I can't say all that much has changed since last week.

Maybe feeling more stressed, a breaking point of sorts feels like it's on the horizon.  Lack of sleep, time to myself, not enough help or fun seem to be taking their toll.

Still not much help on the home front with the new puppy.  Someone asked me "did I really think the man was going to step up?" Honestly thought it meant that much to him that he would give it his everything.  No one can compete with his sleep, sports, website or tv, including puppy. 

What bothers me the most is it doesn't matter how I feel, nor what I say.  He seems to tune me and pretty much every one else out.  Hence why I feel disillusioned. Honestly there are too many days where I'm starting to feel like I live alone. That's all I'm going to say for now.

Puppy is a handful, he has his sweet moments and neurotic ones.  Teaching him not to bite ankles, toes, wrists and fingers is going to be tough as so far he doesn't respond to most of the usual tricks.

Mean while, thinking maybe I need to change Monday Musings to include a more positive focus.  Basically the good things of the week, no matter how small.  But sometimes I just need an outlet, so writing turns into my way of screaming all the stresses into a pillow. Besides Sunday are filled with inspiration so figure I'm allowed one day a week to let it all out. :)

In other news, heard back from John Hopkins who decided to take my dizziness case!  That's huge because I was told they don't take any case, especially if they feel they have nothing to offer.  Now just have to figure out a way to get down there for the appointment. And find some one trust worthy to watch the pup which isn't exactly easy during the week.


Have I mentioned how much I miss Angel?  Seriously not a day goes by that I don't wish she was here with me or miss her terribly.   Oh how I miss her laying on some part of me while I sleep, especially the way she use to nestle herself into my shoulder.  By now thought for sure she would have sent me some kind of sign, oh how I wanted a sign to let me know that she is okay and that life goes on.  And I keep praying to God asking for some kind of sign.

Such is life, sometimes we have the answers and sometimes we don't.  There are plenty of nights I lay awake pondering the mysteries of life.  Hard to explain but life without her just doesn't feel the same.  When I gaze up at the stars at night can't help but wonder where she is and does she know how much I love and miss her.....















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