Tuesday, December 31, 2013

New Year Thoughts

Reflecting upon this year has been tough because it had plenty of ups and downs.  When I look back upon what I wrote last New Year it seems like not much changed and not sure how I feel about that. Obviously I would have liked to seen those wishes come to fruition. Which might be why the word change keeps coming to mind.  Maybe the only way to make those wishes a reality is with change.  Sometimes though it's easier to talk about making changes and much harder to put into action.

Yesterday I read an article on Oprah about a questions everyone should ask themselves to get what they really want.....How is what you're doing working for you? Are you getting what you really want and need?

Obviously what I'm doing is not working because I'm not getting what I really want or need.  But lets face it, it's easier to do what we have always done because moving out of our comfort zones can be scary and uncomfortable, even if the comfort zone we live in now isn't so comfortable.  If one wants something different then they have to do something different. And so keep asking myself do I have the courage to do something different?

While some are recapping their year in detail or month by month, I feel like that would be pouring salt on some wounds that still feel open.  New Years last year involved learning the man was in the midst of a serious painkiller addiction, had no money left, he resigned from work and trust felt non existent. What followed was a lot of ups and downs. He spent months on the couch not wanting to do anything. Though now he is officially 8 months clean a huge accomplishment but getting clean has been half the battle, changing himself, actions, behaviors, habits, much harder. Then the recent seizure, serious injuries from that, followed by being diagnosed with epilepsy came as a huge surprise. The uncertainty of everything has felt stressful and made me realize how fragile and unpredictable life can be.

Meanwhile, I still struggle with the dizzy spells which no one has any answers or cure for, looks like it's just one of those mysteries of life.  Learning to accept that and reinvent my life around it has been difficult at times. Yet I think we are all given our own, unique struggles that somehow teach us the lessons we need to learn.  I have opened a small pet business as animals continue to be a huge love.  And continue to work on my art, actually in the process of redesigning my website. 

Think this year I need to focus on being more positive, passionately pursue my dreams, learn to relax, stop regretting and dwelling on the past, not put up with bs or unkindness from others, focus on creating stronger relationships, learn to focus on the present and live life more fully.  Everything that has happened has taught me so much.  Invaluable lessons and wisdom that wish I had known years ago, yet wasn't quite open to understanding.

There are still desires and dreams I have yet to make a reality.  And I ponder how can I change for the better?  How can I get closer to making those dreams a reality?  How can I bring more happiness into my life?

I want this New Year to involve doing more of the right things for not only myself but those close to me.  To have the courage to make changes, take chances, risks and strength to stand up for what I believe.  To love, laugh and be able to forgive. To find happiness, success and work hard at making  dreams a reality.

This New Years I wish for health, happiness, laughter, love and dreams come true for all!

In the words of Nelson Mandela "In playing small you will never achieve the greatness that's inside of you.  Too often we are afraid of the unknown and so we stick to whats safe, what and who we know and what we are comfortable with. It takes courage to step out of this and challenge ourselves. But surely a bigger risk is a life unlived. There is no passion to be found in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living." 

Happy New Years!


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