Monday, December 9, 2013

Monday Musings

The forecast in Philadelphia was for little to no accumulation of snow, so of course we had 6 inches of snow. It looked like a white out at times at the Eagles game.  Just as life is unpredictable, weather is too. While snow is beautiful driving and shoveling it are not.

Though it motivated me to hang the Christmas lights, which looked pretty against the snow.

Overall the week has seemed like a blur. 

Tuesday started off with me having a deep cavity filled, not an easy task for someone who fears the dentist/numbing of Novocaine.  The dentist isn't sure if it will work due to it's deepness he mentioned the possibility of root canal.  Words of terror to a dental phobic. Given the deepness the pain has been strong and throbbing.  If the pain doesn't subside that will confirm a root canal is needed. 

The man took me to the appointment.  He really stepped up and helped that day even cooking dinner.  The next day though he started feeling lightheaded, nausea and overall not well.  Little did anyone know that it was leading up to a major seizure the next day.  Which I wrote about here

He spent three days in the hospital while they ran tests.  Most of the tests looked okay including all blood work and toxicology screens, but the EEG came back with abnormal findings in the temporal lobe.  The force of the seizure dislocated his humerus bone, they theorize it fractured upon re entry.   His memory has been some what affected as well.  The left eye has some drooping.  He is extremely sore all over, bruised a little and cannot move his left arm. The seizure lasted over 4 minutes, which is considered long and in the Grand Mal category. 

They said because he had a seizure as a kid, even though it was caused by overheating back then, that it could predispose him to seizures.  Usually after one seizure they don't put people on medication but because his EEG came back abnormal, the force of the seizure and fracture of his humerus bone they feel medication is important at this stage.  In addition after a seizure in Pennsylvania they take people's license for 6 months, requiring a person to remain seizure free during that time to get their license back. 

This year has been tough and with this happening not sure how we are going to stay financially afloat.  The man has been in the process of looking for a job but now without being able to drive it's going to be really difficult.  And all the medical insurance stuff is now going to begin to stack up as well.  The man has a lot on his plate yet I'm not sure he is prepared to deal with it all.  It's a scary feeling.

Plus with my dizzy spells driving is already limited, so now with him not being able to drive I become sole driver.  Yet I have come to rely on him for the distance driving stuff.  So it's going to be interesting to see how we weather it all.  Things just keep getting thrown at us, some days the weight of it all feels overwhelming and exhausting.  The uncertainty of everything is taking it's toll.

Meanwhile they are forecasting more snow and frigid temperatures.  Trying so hard to get in the holiday spirit but still not feeling it yet.  Thought maybe the snow would help but not really.  Just find myself wanting to skip winter and jump to summer.  Little one was surprised to find snow when she stepped outside yesterday.  She used to love it as a puppy but has grown less fond of it over the years. So instead of trying to play in it she stands there looking at me as if to say take me inside pronto.

The thought that comes to mind this Monday is this quote "Sometimes life is unpredictable. It dictates things that you do not want to pursue, nor do you wish to listen to. But no matter how we resists life, it wont allow itself to lay unappreciated and devalued for a long time. For each day we live on this planet, each breath we took when were awake and each silent breath when we are asleep, life is already in its existence. For life is within us, it envelops us in everything that we do. It is there, silent and yet overbearing, when we took our own paths, when we mold our own destiny, and when we choose wise and unwise decisions. Decisions that might or might not affect the way our life will be. For no matter what path we choose, life is always there. Life is the essence of life. Life is a God given gift bestowed upon mankind. Life is our life. Without life, humanity would not have existed, I would not have existed. Life gives us the freedom to choose, to see things in its pure goodness, but above all, life gives us the ability to live on this planet. For it is life that we found each other. For it is in life that we are one. We are not only citizens in our own countries but we are citizens of the world. We are here because of life, and we are here because we have life. Live life to its fullest form. Thank God for bestowing upon us life. Life is life."


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