Monday, October 14, 2013

Monday Musings

Overall the week was a busy one, and struggled with some dizziness as well. Saturday turned into a surprisingly great day....the rain cleared, went to watch my niece play soccer which lead to a girls day. It was lots of fun.  And then there was Sunday.

For months we had plans to go to a family get together/memorial/dinner. The man has never met many of my relatives as they live all over the country, and it's very difficult to get everyone in the same place at the same time.  So I was really looking forward to introducing him to everyone.  But of course he ranted about having to do something, having to go to a family thing, calling out other family members, how long would it be, etc., and twenty minutes before we were suppose to leave he decided not to go.

Have you ever felt deeply disappointed in someone?  That's how I felt with the man.

He isn't currently working, he spends most his days watching tv.  So when we have nothing to do and he makes a stink about having to go somewhere or how long something might take its hard to understand.  He runs a side website but he has plenty of time now to complete that work . So yesterday when he chose watching tv over doing something that meant a lot to me it felt disappointing.

Luckily it was close by so I just went myself.  But my cousins all showed up with their husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, etc.. Everyone wanted to know where the man was. What was I to say, he couldn't take a few hours out of his busy day watching tv to come?  Luckily my relatives are some of the nicest people I know and it was easy to get lost in the fun and just enjoy the moment.  

But watching my cousins interact with their partners, seeing their partners mingle with everyone,  laughing, sharing loving moments and enjoying their time together, not to mention all sitting through the short memorial something the man had no interest in having to do.  It made me realize how differently he seems to regard family, love and overall life. And how different his family life was growing up. Sometimes we become a reflection of what we experienced growing up.

All I can say is this. Actions speak louder than words. Words can show you what someone whats to be but actions prove who someone really is. People may not tell you how they feel about you, but they always show you. 

Steven Covey once said that love is verb.  It's an action requiring your involvement and your active participation.  You cannot sit back and expect the world will serve it to you.  You cannot expect that your relationship will continue to provide love while you're not putting in any effort. Love has to be earned and continually fought for.  Love is like a fragile plant it needs to be nurtured.  To come from a place of giving without expecting anything in return.  Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to our own. 

Suppose those are words of wisdom to ponder this Monday.

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