Saturday, January 12, 2013

Lifes Problems

As I stood letting the water cascade over me in the shower today, kept wishing it could wash away every problem, trouble, issue, hurt and all the not so good of late and maybe ever.  A small part of me even wished I could be transported back to a less complicated time of life....if there even is such a thing?

I realized as I stood there that when it comes to issues/problems/the not so good of life we can deny, ignore, procrastinate, pretend they don't exist and even try to wish them away.....but none of those things will make them disappear, it wont resolve or even solve them.  The only way anything can be resolved is through accepting, addressing, action, communicating, coming to terms with truths... basically give those issues/problems/the not so good of life ones attention, all the energy and focus one can muster, facing them head on and trying our very best to turn it into something good using all means at our disposable.

But what if we do but those around us don't?   What then...

As let's face it many of lifes issues/problems/not so good things often times involve others as well.   Family, partners, friends, co workers,etc..  Life is never just about us.  It's interconnected in ways we often times don't even see or understand. 

Lately that's what I have been dealing with.  The man and I have two very different ways of dealing with the hardships of life.  I'm more a type A, he a type B.   As in I like to deal with things head on, he is more like a turtle who wants to hide under his shell.  I'm a huge communicator feeling as almost anything can be helped even resolved by simply talking about it, he avoids communication/talking at all costs. (this is a huge hurdle one that can even make problems worse)  He is a procrastinator, I'm not.  I like to plan he does not.  I want to address things immediately, talk them out, create plans, seek help when needed, basically do whatever it takes to make things better, him not so much. 

And right now the man is going through something very hard that not only affects him, but us and to a certain extent everyone in his life.   But dealing with it is not easy because one it was ignored for so long and two because of the differences mentioned above. Though I'm trying to be as supportive as possible I am struggling with our different ways of dealing with it.  And find myself wanting him to be more proactive especially in regards to seeking help, accepting the truth or at least trying to communicate more effectively and openly.  But right now he is in a very shut down mode and that is very hard to process and understand.  Even finding the right words for this post was tough.  As sometimes what we feel and think can be hard to accurately put into words.

I will do what I can, and hope he will to.  And pray that it's enough for now. 


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