Saturday, December 22, 2012

Star bright

Have you ever wanted something, not just wanted but really wanted, yet it felt just beyond your grasp?  A dream.  A wish.

It's a feeling that's been all too familiar.  This summer I got this notion that this thing or maybe even things I really wanted, dreams of mine might happen.  As if a wish might come true.

And when it did not happen as I had imagined, or dreamed, there was a feeling I did not quite recognize or even understand.  Not even sure I can exactly put it in words, maybe it's what people mean when they say the "wind had been let out of their sails".

I wanted to prolong summer....hoping maybe there was still a chance it would happen. But summer came and went.  It took me a while to come around to the idea that summer was actually over, or that the holidays were approaching.   Now here I am in the midst of the holiday season still with that feeling of wanting something so much yet not being able to quite grasp it. 

And all the holiday stuff did not quite feel the same,  it's as if I was still stuck in summer.  Something just felt like it was missing.  Now as I think about it I do believe its been that feeling of really wanting something but it feeling like it is beyond grasp, that is still gnawing away.  I still long for that dream, those dreams.

Either way as I gaze at the stars this evening it has me whispering this.....

Star light, star bright,
first star I see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might,
have the wish, I wish tonight.

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