Sunday, December 30, 2012

Soul Sunday

Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get only with what you are expecting to give which is everything.

Imagine a world where unconditional love flowed freely?  Why does it not already?  Why can't we just love people for who they are?  Why can't we simply give, show and be open to receiving unconditional love? Why do we place conditions on love?  How did our society, our world become so judgmental? 

That is essentially what conditional love is judgmental. It places conditions on love...we have to do something, be a certain way,  have a certain thing, etc., in order to be given or receive love. Love is essentially earned on a basis of conscious or unconscious conditions being met. But that is not what love is.

Unconditional love is an affection without any limitations.  It is love which has no bounds and is unchanging.  In religion unconditional love is thought to be part of the four love....affection, friendship, romance, and unconditional. Unconditional love has  no demands, no limits, no expectations, no requirements, no thoughts of reciprocation, and no conditions. It is love given freely to the loved one no matter what. Loving first.  Whereas conditional love requires some kind of finite exchange, unconditional love is seen as infinite and measureless.

Unconditional love says you are loved just for being who you are, just for existing. You don't have to do anything to earn it. Your shortcomings, your lack of self-esteem, physical perfection, or social and economic success— none of that matters.  Exactly what our world needs more of!

 "I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you do, as long as you love me."

Haggai Fridman of the Kabbalah religion says there are four steps to loving unconditionally.  Let's look at his this Sunday.

1.You can be the most sharing person in the world, giving charity everyday and building shelters for the homeless, but the negative voice inside you will tell you to dislike certain people and try to prevent you from fulfilling the most important of life’s precepts, “Love thy neighbor as thyself.”
2. Do things you would like people to do/say to you. If you would like a stranger to say, “How are you?” then do that for other people. Sense or feel what the other person really needs. People want kindness, and paradise sharing is loving kindness, to really feel where the other person is at.

3. When you see something wrong that someone does, don’t judge. Feel the greatest/good aspects of people first and don’t rush to judgment because you don’t see the whole picture.  Don't judge another until you have walked in their shoes.

4. If you do see something wrong, tell the other person and let them explain. Now, you don’t create space/hate and they can improve or tell you what you didn’t see. Remember, what someone else wants is not always what you want. Give as you would like to receive, but don’t judge this way. You might stand and give someone else your seat on a bus, but to someone else, a seat is not so important and he may not think to stand.
Unconditional love really exists in each of us. It is part of our deep inner being. It is not so much an active emotion as a state of being. It’s not "I love you" for this or that reason, not "I love you if you love me." It's love for no reason, love without an object. It's just sitting in love, a love that incorporates the chair and the room and permeates everything around. The thinking mind is extinguished in love.  If each of us could only open our souls to it. 
Compassion, understanding, kindness, love, generosity, empathy, honesty, loyalty, support, help, good communication are all parts of unconditional love as well.  Maybe the first step in becoming unconditional love is to simply incorporate these into our daily lives. 
 The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.

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