Sunday, November 25, 2012

Soul Sunday

Thanksgiving is often a time in which people show their gratitude and thankfulness for what they have, but most importantly the people in their lives. 

Though our society may tout independence as highly regarded, fact is we need each other....always have and always will.  Essentially we are all dependent on one another in some form or other.  And having people one can depend on, trust and being dependable, trustworthy for others is important in all aspects of life. 

Our strengths are others weaknesses, and vice versa.  We only grow as people, as a society when we learn it's not about "me" it's about "we", it's about being there for each other. Yet too many people are let down or hurt by those two virtues that seem to be lacking in our society today.  On the other hand how thankful we feel when we have found people with those virtues.

Learning to be dependable and trustworthy are soul enriching for both the giver and receiver.  But the two often times do not come easy for many. 

So how can anyone become dependable and trustworthy.  These simple ideas from wikihow are great steps.

How To Become Dependable

1. Dependable - capable of being depended on; worthy of trust.
2. Keep your promises. Do what you said you would. Do it how and how much as much as is needed. Fulfill your duties without excuses. If you cannot do exactly as you stated, then have reasons -- but first, help with making other arrangements, make amends, apologize.   Never neglect or shrug off your part, becoming lax or slack.  Do not forget your commitments, say and mean it I will remember.

3. Be consistently punctual. Do your work or play when you said you would do it.

4. Be there: on the spot, when and where you said you would be.

5. Be trustworthy. Trust is assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.

6. Be honest; be true so that you wouldn't steal a penny or lie.

7. Be faithful. Be constant, unfaltering like solid rock.

8. Be secure as an anchor in a storm and all through the day and night.

9. Be responsible for what you do.

10.  Be steady, steadfast, organized.

And to be trustworthy we must first understand how to build trust.

How To Build Trust

1.  Do what you say. Possibly the most important step to building a foundation of trust is to do what you say you will do. At least try doing it. Even if it is a small thing, canceling or failing to follow through will create hairline fractures in your trustworthiness. Enough of those, and the foundation will crumble.

2.  Never lie. Sounds easy, right? Not always. It's surprisingly simple to find yourself saying a little white lie to protect your friend, lover, or even your parents. But if you tell the truth even when the truth isn't perfectly pleasant, you will become much more trustworthy. Be honest with yourself and with others. Personal integrity is a must and honesty demonstrates integrity. The ability of others to trust you hinges upon your honesty and integrity.

3.  Volunteer information. When an opportunity to be vague arises, don't take it. Volunteer information to your listener to prove that you have nothing to hide.

4.  Don't omit important details. The main reason it is best not to omit important details is because it is hard to keep up with a string of omissions. People will start to notice contradictions in your stories and you will be considered a liar, even if you are only omitting a little! Tell people things they need or want to know, if you begin to provide reliable information they will trust you.

5.  If you do have secrets, let it be known. You shouldn't be forced to give up your most personal feelings and secrets just to be trustworthy. Everyone is entitled to privacy. But the key to being trustworthy while also maintaining your privacy is to make the boundary clear.

6.  Don't mask truths. An off-shoot of "Never lie" is never to mask truths. Sometimes it seems harmless to "morph" the truth into something more palatable to preserve your ego.

7.  Keep secrets. No gossip allowed. Never blab someone else's story. Enough said. You can only trust people who are discreet and those who can keep the same silences or protect your confidences.

8.  If you do lie, admit to it. Sometimes it feels unavoidable to lie. It is best to confess to your lie as soon as possible and explain your motives. If you get caught, don't deny it. That is simply another lie.

9.  Speak your feelings. People who only convey hard facts come across as cold and distant.

10.   Tell the truth. If being honest and truthful is critical, you must be seen as someone who speaks the truth.

11.  Honor your promises. Trust requires that people believe you are dependable. Keep your promises and be reliable. If you say you'll do something, do it. Reliability fosters trust. People are assured you follow through on your word when you put your money where your mouth is.
12.  Show openness. This implies relying on a person to give you the full truth. Mistrust comes as much from what people know, including what they do not know. Realize that open and honest dialogue is reciprocated. When you instill a sense of openness with others, and they are more candid with you when you seek honest feedback.
13.  Show consistency in your behavior. This relates to your reliability and predictability. It also determines your ability and good judgement in handling situations. Display loyalty. This refers to your ability to protect others, to be on same side, in their presence but most importantly in their absence.

14.  Do not break promises, however small and insignificant they may seem. Trust requires that people know you are dependable.

15.  Be competent. Gain the respect and admiration of others by displaying adequate interpersonal or professional ability. Know that your competency reflects how trustworthy others consider you to be. Acknowledge them. Trust is earned when you acknowledge your limitations and offer to help find a solution.

16.  Demonstrate a strong moral ethic. This is particularly important in relationships. The other must feel confident that you will not falter or show betrayal in any form, when away from the other. People must not doubt your ability to be true or dedicated.

17.  Be neutral when placed in difficult predicaments. Do not choose sides until you make certain that you know the hard facts.

18.  Aim to be objective and show fairness. When making decisions or taking actions consider how others may perceive this in terms of objectivity and fairness.  Treat others as you want to be treated. Be consistent your in interactions with others.

19.  Do not display double standards. Show consistency in your behavior.  Realize that your faithfulness or loyalty to a friend, family member, co-worker, boss or subordinate earns their trust. Defend or protect others when you have the opportunity to do so. It is the right thing to do. Recognize that others have faults and make mistakes. Giving them the opportunity to fix their errors and move past it.

20.  Understand that being compassionate breeds trust. Take an interest in the personal struggles others encounter to foster a genuine sense of caring. This increases your personal character as being a trustworthy person.

Everyone needs someone reach out and be that someone. 

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