Friday, August 10, 2012


It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped. Decisions determine destiny.

Today as I watched the rain create ripples in the puddles, I could not help but ponder how sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change life.  Sometimes in smalls ways, other times in big ways.

One small decision that may seem rather insignificant can sometimes have a ripple effect much like  those rain drops or even a stone being thrown upon water.  Affecting not only the one who made the decision, but those around them, and even people they may not know or know yet.

Such thoughts filled my mind after discussing the man's debt with a banker.  I wondered what went through my man's mind when he decided to overlook payments. (especially after all the promises)  Did he realize how it would affect not only him but us.  Or how breaking a promise is a decision in itself that can cause more ripples.

It's the decisions before he knew me I wonder about too. When he was opening all the accounts, charging things as if he were a millionaire then failing to make payments.  Then again who hasn't at times. He is highly educated, but education only goes so far it doesn't teach the value of money, credit, spending, budgets, paying bills or the importance of communication when things go awry.  Not to mention student loans bring even greater debt.  Making the right choices, decisions it's something everyone has to learn through the school of life.  And finances often times bring the hardest decisions at any age. 

We all make questionable decisions, no one is immune to it.  I've made plenty of not so great ones in the past.  And absolutely no one knows or can predict the affects their decisions will have, or if they are even making the right decision.  But what one can do is learn from their mistakes, so that we don't continually repeat them over and over.  Better yet care enough, put as much passion into it as one would the things they love.  It's when the same poor decisions are made over and over again that they become dangerous, hurtful and much harder to forgive sometimes.

What I do know is all those past decisions could mean having to put off buying a house for another few years, which feels so crushing. (we have already waited years)  All the work I've put into helping fix the credit, scouring over reports trying to figure it all out, setting up payment schedules, analyzing/balancing bank statements, trying hard to get him to commit to a budget and devote time to it, etc.. After all of it he still may not qualify?  Yes to a certain extent banks don't care how much one makes they look at the bigger picture the dreaded credit report, where the past decisions comes back to haunt many.  And where they have to make crucial decisions as well.

Just feels like that stone thrown in the water creating the ripples hit me directly.  Um is it too much to ask to win the lottery?  Please, pretty please could I win the lottery?  Doesn't have to be some crazy amount 400,000 would suffice, just enough to buy a house and fix it up.  :)

Try to look for the lessons in obstacles. Guess the biggest lesson learned is to really think before one makes a decision. No matter what ones age.  Yes follow ones heart, listen to instinct but also analyze from all perspectives.  Put effort into everything, even the smallest things that may seem completely insignificant may not be.  And when it comes to finances always play it safe unless of course one happens to be a billionaire.  Nike says just do it, well I say think about it and the ripples....

 It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.

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