Monday, June 25, 2012

Monday Musings

This Monday started off rough.  And I came across this quote that resonated on some level.

"Think I'm afraid of being happy because every time I'm happy, something bad always happens."
Honestly it sounds rather pessimistic yet at the same time it feels so real some days.  Those moments in life where I feel or have felt overwhelming happiness.  They always seem to be followed by something bad or not so happy. 

It's comparable to the saying that has been around for years.

"If it seems too good to be true, it probably is"

That's the way I feel some days.  As if any good feeling or anything good that happens.... is simply too good  to be true that surely it will be followed by  the complete opposite.  Yes I'm actually scared, even petrified at times, to experience any kind of happiness.  Mainly because losing that happiness can feel so horrible, even be detrimentally stressful to the body and mind.  And that feeling is possibly one of the worst to feel.

It's just those moments in my life where I have felt genuine happiness seem to have gone away too quickly.  It's the hurt those moments leave that make it hard to trust in happiness. That's the thing with happiness when something happens to cause the feeling to disappear or be temporarily put on pause it can hurt in deeper ways then we think.  And even leave a scar or two as well.

Most people think I'm an optimist, which at the core of my soul I believe is the truth.  In general being optimist about life, people, love,etc., yet personally speaking when it comes to myself or my life I'm more cautiously optimistic.  Meaning I basically feel like a scared optimist. 

Yet I also believe you attract like energies in life.  So if I'm scared to feel happy or of happiness, if that fear remains in the background won't I be attracting the very stuff I fear because of holding those thoughts?  

Okay maybe I'm getting too deep here it's just I want to be able to feel happy without looking up thinking the sky is going to fall on my world if I do.  I want so badly to believe that happiness can stick around, that there isn't something looming around the corner to take it away. 

Maybe the truth of happiness lies in this quote.

Judge nothing, you will be happy.  Forgive everything, you will be happier.  Love everything, you will be happiest.

Though that seems a whole lot easier said then done.  But I suppose much of life is about acceptance.  Acceptance in a sense that there will be moments of both happiness and not happiness.  Life cannot always be happy right? Also those unhappy moments can possible teach us a lot, they can help us learn in ways that could possibly lead to great happiness. 

Somehow it's learning to appreciate the moments of happiness for what they are and not letting the not so happy ones consume us.  Or for that matter not letting those not so happy moments harden us or make us fearful to feel happiness.  That is what is most important.

This Monday I simply wish I could believe and trust that full heartily.  Just want to trust the feeling of happiness without fearing it.


  1. I think it's normal to feel that way when everything is going great in your life. Life is full of ups and downs, so after everything has been great for a while it's totally natural to start anticipating the fall. I think you're right though, it's all about your attitude and choosing to be happy no matter what happens. Just found your blog and have loved looking around and getting to know you better. You're adorable and I'm excited to follow along!

    new follower :)

  2. Hey lady!! I just found your cute blog via the hop and added myself to your followers! Also I’d love to have you check out a fabulous OSCAR DE LA RENTA giveaway I’m having right now!!
    Hope to see you there! And thanks so much!
    Xo, Emily


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