Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Monday Musings

This Monday I'm wondering what happened to our weekends.  They have metamorphosed into something I don't exactly recognize.  And I feel myself growing restless with the endless amounts of time being sucked away by the tv, computer, phone, etc..  Every weekend is beginning to feel like the movie Ground Hog day.  With a very occasional variation.

Our weekends have been replaced by technology.  Lately the man literally has no interest in doing anything other then watching tv/working on website.   Things we do feel rushed, distracted or lacking of fun do to this need of his to always be connected to technology of some sorts.  He would even choose it over sex.  All meals are ate in front of the tv.  Procrastination regarding household stuff is at an all time high.  Conversations without distractions are even hard. haha

I feel kind of lost trying to figure out how we can get back to dates, quality moments and fun we used to have before all the technology took such a stronghold.   And also with the dizziness and not being able to fully drive, errands on weekends take up precious time as well.  Having to depend on anyone isn't easy but the man makes sure to let me know how inconvenient it is which doesn't help matters either.

I've talked about my struggles with the dizzy spells this past year but I've never talked about the man's own struggles.  He has been going through some stuff that I think has affected his personality, energy levels, enthusiasm, etc.. In fact I think physically it's going to have a long term affect on him until his body can adjust....as a lot of the chemicals, hormones, you name it will be thrown off for a while.  It's going to be difficult and take time.  But that's okay, I understand though I don't think it's going to help if he is always staring at a computer or tv, it can have detrimental physical affects on the body as well.  No wonder he has a sore painful back and neck.

Anyway I hate to feel like I'm complaining I think it's more like I'm just trying to work through my feelings, how to get back to simple fun and quality moments together.  Sometimes  after years together  those things can simply get taken for granted or take a back seat. 

Also sometimes sharing all my feelings is tougher than I thought in this format.  I started this blog as a journal but then realized revealing very personal feelings to be read by anyone is odd sometimes.  Because things change you know.  Tomorrow I may feel completely different.  Writing is just a ways of releasing what I feel at any given moment.  But I'm just not sure if what I wanted this blog to be can really be because people interpret everything different.  Even the man, if he were to read this he might take it one way as opposed to the way I am actually feeling.  Also not realize that this is just one of a million feelings and thoughts that cross my mind every day.  Does that even make sense.

Hmmmm......who knows I just want my weekends to feel more fun and connected.  I want us to experience more of life than just zoning out to technology all the time.  That's all.  :)

Okay now that I released those thoughts for the day I'm going to create what I want!

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