Monday, January 9, 2012

Monday Musings

After a rather sleepless weekend, yup the skips just would not let me get any sleep or peace for that matter.   That set off an adrenaline rush which seem to set off just about everything else including leaving me feeling nausea.  So not exactly starting this Monday off feeling refreshed. ha
Last night as I desperately tried to sleep I just wanted to know the why behind it, and the how I might go about getting rid of these things.   
Since I was a kid I've always questioned everything.....why,who,where, how, you name it.  Then of course there is the hopeless idealist that emerges and thinks there should be a solution to everything.  Of course as I grew up that side of me got hit with the harsh truth of that is not exactly possible.  That to me was like finding out Santa or the Tooth Fairy isn't real.

Yesterday as I watched football, especially my man Tebow, I just kept thinking how much I admire his faith.  Seriously the guy has more faith then most I know.  And wish I could have even a little of his strong belief and faith.  In an interview with Oprah Joel Osteen said he never really questioned his faith.   As she said even Mother Teresa had done.  Okay well if Mother Teresa questioned it even once I suppose I feel a little better.

When the going gets tough I become the biggest doubting Thomas.  It's so hard for me to wrap my brain around why people or even animals have to suffer.   My biggest question has always been why would any God let that happen to his people.  Why cannot miracles be more prevalent and prayers answered.  I get upset for even questioning it, then again I get upset at the mere thought of any being having to suffer as well. 
Of course then I think to an individual like Tebow or any person of great faith they would have an explanation for it, that probably things are meant to happen for reasons or prayers aren't always answered in the ways we desire.  Which makes sense as well.

But in the very trying moments of life a doubting Thomas has much trouble understanding all that.  And instead of strengthening their faith often times it can weaken it.  That is why I admire those with great faith, strong beliefs, etc., because they don't fall apart in the face of adversity.  And even more so I admire those who are able to remain completely calm because that is not something my mind or body seems to understand.
Those are my musings this Monday.  As always feel free to share your thoughts.   For now until I can muster more faith and doubt less I will try very hard to focus on the wisdom others have shared along the way.