Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Monday Musings

Monday, and what a stormy weekend it was.  Between the heavy rain and wind from the hurricane it kept us all on edge. Not to mention left the weekend feeling rather restless and lacking in sleep.  The cleanup after such a storm is not exactly fun.  Anyway, that restlessness has crept into my Monday.

Think the dizziness kind of spurred it on too, as had another bad spell this weekend.  It's becoming such a chronic thing.  And it has got me thinking about a lot lately.  Quite frankly when you are under the weather, and stuck in the house like I have been lately it leaves little much to do but think. ha

I'm just starting to feel as if I'm missing out on life in some ways.  That my life is and has been in a state of waiting for my dreams and desires to happen for too long now.  Even before this dizziness I was starting to feel this way.
Sometimes I think that maybe I've made choices that were good for others but maybe not so much for me.  I have had this habit of trying to make those in my life happy, at the extent of sacrificing what truly makes me happy.  Or putting up with things that I don't always like, agree with, or that match with my beliefs for reasons I'm not even sure at times.  Also think I tend to try to do for and help others but forget myself in the process.  It is kind of hard to put in words.
But I do wonder if some of the stress I took on from those choices maybe could be responsible for the health issues I've been experiencing.  Like maybe my body broke down from just being too overloaded and overwhelmed with stress.  Sometimes stress can be just as damaging to the body yet we often times don't even realize it.  Lately I can't help but wonder if I did overload and exhaust my body like that.
It's odd because now I feel this overwhelming desire to simply be nurtured, taken care of like I have others, receive help with having to always ask and just be shown unconditional love with no expectations expected in return.  I want to feel bathed in affection, snuggles and love.  Have more fun, laughs,silly moments, etc..  I want to be free of these health issues and stressors that are bogging down my life at the moment.  I want to share more kisses, affection,dates and meaningful moments with the man.  I want to pull him away from the tv to embark on and share more adventures together.  Essentially I just want to try to live life to the fullest.  (and hoping the man might be up for the challenge as well)

I want to try to make those dreams of mine a reality as well.  Lately with all that has seemingly bogged down life, especially the health issues, well I just realize how important it is to simply enjoy life, try new things, go after dreams, follow our hearts, don't take anyone or anything for granted, be the best we can be,  find ways to create more happiness, and well the list is long.  And that is why I am starting to feel restless because these things have taken a backseat for too long.
Things to think about for sure....












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