Monday, July 25, 2011

Monday Musings

Monday....have to say I'm rather excited to just start the day and try to get some things accomplished!

This weekend was pretty much a lounge one again, except for a quick trip to the eyeglass place it was rather low key.  We were suppose to rent Limitless but that didn't happen, the man can barely make it to 10 pm on weekends and during the day he is too busy with his website/watching sports. At this point I think we are in need of a date day or night....something fun that will change up the rountine a little. :)

Plus the temperatures, including heat index have been near 120 in Philadelphia so not exactly ideal for doing anything outdoors. 

But this Monday I'm more musing over other stuff.  Such as how stress that has seemed  to consumed my life a lot over the past two years.  And how this chronic dizziness is affecting all areas of my life at the moment, and leaving me with not much to do....other than think too much.   I'm the doer type and so this has been very difficult.  As I want to be out doing things, living life, having fun, not stuck at home on the couch! 

This dizziness seemed to open a can of worms in many senses.  I started physical therapy but the dizziness is just not going to go away over night, accepting that is hard.  And not being able to be on the computer much or even read a book has left me beyond frustrated.  And it has also led me to ponder so much about life.  Such as....

Where does time goes?   Things just seem to move so fast as we get older, even being sidelined with this dizziness makes me feel like I'm missing out and wasting precision time to not only accomplish the things I need to but those I desire as well.  Not being able to is really stressing me out, and stress will only make it all worse, plus it does real damage to the body as well.   Sometimes I can't help but wonder if it was stress that might have even led to this dizziness developing. 

Anyway when I think about where the time goes, well I even have a little feeling of regret for some of the decisions I made when I was younger.  But then again don't we all wish we knew then what we know now. 

There are a few things I would do differently.  I wonder can certain things be prevented just by changing some of our past choices.  Or are there certain things that are inevitable, that each of us have to go through to become who we were truly meant to be?  I've been pondering that a lot lately.

Some say that people don't change, but I don't believe that.  I believe we are all capable of changing that is what life is essentially about.   Becoming the best person and/or soul we can.  But having said that it by no means is an easy thing to do at times either. 

Now that I've been stuck in the house for what feels like forever I feel even more anxious to get moving, to have this just go away so that I can get on with life.  So I can have the freedom back of just being able to do whatever I want.  And I keep thinking what if it doesn't go away, what am I going to do?  My past jobs always involved heavy computer usage will I have to give that type job up for good, and what will,could or should I do then? 

Oh some ideas come to mind, but do I have the courage to pursue them? 

Not only job related but I realize there are so many other dreams of mine that are still waiting on the sidelines to become a reality.   Some even involve other people in my life as well.  Those are the more difficult dreams because when they involve others we can only hope those individuals are on the same page as us and dream the same dreams.  And if only we could convince those people that tomorrow waits for no one that we only have now to make those dreams a reality.

I do believe it was Roosevelt who said "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."  Which is good advice but sometimes we all want more.  We want those deep, long seated dreams of ours to become a reality as well. 

Oh I've learned a lot lately.  The most important is one never knows what tomorrow holds, things can change in ways we never expected or possibly imagined, and so we must find a way to appreciate the moment.  And if you think about it that way then all we have is today to make our dreams a reality as well.  So it becomes important that we find the things in life that make us happy and we do them!

"Far away, there in the sunshine, are my highest aspirations.  I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them and try to follow where they lead."

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