Friday, July 29, 2011

Strength

 
"We acquire the strength we have overcome"
 
I would like to believe that is true, that somehow the adversity we face creates a stronger us.  But then of course there are those days I still have my doubts as well.   I'm sure many feel this way. 
 
Personally speaking, it just seems like over the past few years my journey has involved a lot of obstacles and mountains to try to overcome.  And the moment it seems I begin to feel things are turning around something seems to happen  to knock me down again.   It feels like I climb one mountain only to be smack right in front of another. 
 
Maybe I'm not being true to my dreams, self, beliefs, values or whatever it may be.  Quite possibly maybe life is trying to tell me something.  But on those days I can't figure it out, when I feel more lost then found well I think about the journey of the butterfly. 
 
How the butterfly has to release itself from its cocoon, any help by another and it will lose it's ability to fly.  You see the struggle to get out of the cocoon pushes the fluid out of it's body into it's wings giving it the strength to fly.   Without struggle the butterfly would never fly. 
 
This is why I adore butterflies.   In many ways they are the perfect analogy for  life..
 
We all have our own struggles, some seem very  unfair,  but maybe just maybe they help give us the strength we need?  Maybe they help create who we need to be?  Just something to think about....
 
 
A butterfly on our butterfly bush.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Monday, July 25, 2011

Monday Musings

Monday....have to say I'm rather excited to just start the day and try to get some things accomplished!

This weekend was pretty much a lounge one again, except for a quick trip to the eyeglass place it was rather low key.  We were suppose to rent Limitless but that didn't happen, the man can barely make it to 10 pm on weekends and during the day he is too busy with his website/watching sports. At this point I think we are in need of a date day or night....something fun that will change up the rountine a little. :)

Plus the temperatures, including heat index have been near 120 in Philadelphia so not exactly ideal for doing anything outdoors. 

But this Monday I'm more musing over other stuff.  Such as how stress that has seemed  to consumed my life a lot over the past two years.  And how this chronic dizziness is affecting all areas of my life at the moment, and leaving me with not much to do....other than think too much.   I'm the doer type and so this has been very difficult.  As I want to be out doing things, living life, having fun, not stuck at home on the couch! 

This dizziness seemed to open a can of worms in many senses.  I started physical therapy but the dizziness is just not going to go away over night, accepting that is hard.  And not being able to be on the computer much or even read a book has left me beyond frustrated.  And it has also led me to ponder so much about life.  Such as....

Where does time goes?   Things just seem to move so fast as we get older, even being sidelined with this dizziness makes me feel like I'm missing out and wasting precision time to not only accomplish the things I need to but those I desire as well.  Not being able to is really stressing me out, and stress will only make it all worse, plus it does real damage to the body as well.   Sometimes I can't help but wonder if it was stress that might have even led to this dizziness developing. 

Anyway when I think about where the time goes, well I even have a little feeling of regret for some of the decisions I made when I was younger.  But then again don't we all wish we knew then what we know now. 

There are a few things I would do differently.  I wonder can certain things be prevented just by changing some of our past choices.  Or are there certain things that are inevitable, that each of us have to go through to become who we were truly meant to be?  I've been pondering that a lot lately.

Some say that people don't change, but I don't believe that.  I believe we are all capable of changing that is what life is essentially about.   Becoming the best person and/or soul we can.  But having said that it by no means is an easy thing to do at times either. 

Now that I've been stuck in the house for what feels like forever I feel even more anxious to get moving, to have this just go away so that I can get on with life.  So I can have the freedom back of just being able to do whatever I want.  And I keep thinking what if it doesn't go away, what am I going to do?  My past jobs always involved heavy computer usage will I have to give that type job up for good, and what will,could or should I do then? 

Oh some ideas come to mind, but do I have the courage to pursue them? 

Not only job related but I realize there are so many other dreams of mine that are still waiting on the sidelines to become a reality.   Some even involve other people in my life as well.  Those are the more difficult dreams because when they involve others we can only hope those individuals are on the same page as us and dream the same dreams.  And if only we could convince those people that tomorrow waits for no one that we only have now to make those dreams a reality.

I do believe it was Roosevelt who said "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."  Which is good advice but sometimes we all want more.  We want those deep, long seated dreams of ours to become a reality as well. 

Oh I've learned a lot lately.  The most important is one never knows what tomorrow holds, things can change in ways we never expected or possibly imagined, and so we must find a way to appreciate the moment.  And if you think about it that way then all we have is today to make our dreams a reality as well.  So it becomes important that we find the things in life that make us happy and we do them!



"Far away, there in the sunshine, are my highest aspirations.  I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them and try to follow where they lead."






Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Woof Wednesday


Welcome to Woof Wednesday, please meet Oliver a West Highland Terrier mix who is in need of a good, loving home.

He has a lot of energy and curiosity. He loves to be held and to sit in your lap.  He is very happy-go-lucky and just loves to be with people. He also gets along with other dogs.  And is house trained as well

Let's find this handsome westie I loving home!

Oliver: West Highland White Terrier Westie, Dog; Lafayette Hill, PA


Oliver: West Highland White Terrier Westie, Dog; Lafayette Hill, PA
Oliver
              Spay and Save, Lafayette Hill, PA     
          
 Email for details: spayandsavedogs@comcast.net or call 610-279-9714 x2



{Please keep in mind a dog is a lifetime commitment. They need attention, love and time just like we do. In addition, adding a pet to the family does cost money in the way of food, health care,training,etc. So before adopting make sure you are willing to make that kind of commitment and have the resources to do so.}

*If you want to be apart of "Woof Wednesdays" email Lauren at [lcairdo@gmail.com] or leave a comment! We would Love to bring you on board!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Monday Musings

Mondays....this weekend was spent relaxing watching the British Open and catching up on a food shopping.   British Open was awesome it's great to see people prove that age is just a number.  And that big sporting events aren't just for the young twentysomethings.  Darren Clarke is a golfer who has been around a long time, had a journey filled with ups and downs, and never won a golf major until now at the age of 43.  If you have a chance read his story it's rather inspirational. 

So today was a big day,  I had my first physical therapy session or as they refer to it as vestibular rehabiltation.  Wow is all I can say!

The physical therapist who did the intial consultation ran me through a gamut of tests and seems to disagree slightly with the neurologist  Including not ruling out that it could be what they refer to as a Vertigo Migraine, which is interesting as it comes on in the form of dizziness, vertigo and head pressure often times without any pain.  But she said one thing is for sure I have a severe problem with motion, and her tests indicate a definitie dysfunction within the inner ear.


Rehabilitation will involve many different types of exercises ones that will actually induce the dizziness in the hopes of retraining the brain and inner ear.  The ones that require me to shake my head side/side and up/down while focusing on something are the worst.  And so much for short term pt, nope this requires extensive work...twice weekly appts in their office and practice all exercises prescribed on my own everyday at least 2-5/day.  It isn't going to be pleasant and not something that can be resolved overnight.  So let's just hope this works, quite frankly I may end up broke with twice weekly copays before they ever cure the dizziness.


On another note, the weather forecast in Philadelphia is looking quite hot.  In fact, like much of the country it looks like we are about to go into a heat wave with highs predicted near 100.  Yikes.  Our little cottage house doesn't have central air so we are relying on two window units.  Hoping that this heat wave doesn't explode the electric bill as well.  That's the worst part of a heat wave the fact that it costs so much to run an a/c.  Even the pitcher for our Philadelphia Phillies, Halladay succombed to heat exhaustion.  So for all you dealing with this heat please drink lots and try to stay cool because heat exhaustion is one of those things that can sneak up on you.


hot sun in heat wave can cause health problems heat stroke 
And one another musings this Monday.  Big Brother has so far been rather interesting this season, love that they brought back Jeff/Jordan and Brendon/Rachel.   Just hoping they can stay in the game because with this show things seem to change quickly.  Usually I don't care for the people, especially girls they pick to be on these shows but I like Jordan she seems humble, down to earth, not caddy, and so funny.  She met Jeff on Big Brother two years ago, they quickly became a fan fav/couple and I hope it works out because they both seem like nice people.   I don't watch all that much tv but the man loves this show and got me hooked as well.


Oh and did I mention I love when David Muir co hosts GMA. He reminds me of  Charlie Gibson. The charisma, good sense of humor without being sarcastic, intelligent, and of course pretty nice to look at as well.  But seriously it's his intelligence and personality that makes him a good cohost. And maybe they could bring Bianna on to replace Lara.  She is great as well.  What can I say I like my morning news shows but only when certain people host it. :)  




Enough musings this Monday I need to get off the computer! :)




Sunday, July 17, 2011

Hope

"There are times when life surprises one, and anything may happen, even what one had hoped for.  Such as when the sun slowly makes it's way out from behind the clouds and fills the sky with light."


Thursday, July 14, 2011

Thursday Thoughts


So today was the follow up with the neurologist, to my surprise the mri actually looked fine. (with how I feel thought for sure something really had to be amiss in my brain)  So part of me feels relieved yet part feels apprehensive as the chronic dizziness still remains.

As to why I'm feeling such constant dizziness, vertigo, imbalance, and head pressure?   He says he is leaning toward a diagnosis of  vestibular neuronitis.   Turns out the inner ear can even affect our vision as well. The worst part of it is the fact that mine appears to be more on the chronic side which could be a tad more difficult to treat.

He would like me to undergo a special type of physical therapy designed for such a condition.  Now this is where I feel nervous because it helps a certain percentage but like anything in life it doesn't come with any guarantees or cures.  Sometimes that is the hardest part of life....the unknown.

So I suppose we'll see what happens....

And I have mentioned this before but the thoughts running through my mind the past few weeks,months,etc., is one of disbelief pertaining to how much we take for granted everyday.   Seriously everyday we wake up healthy and feeling good is such a blessing in itself.   But how often do most of us even give it a thought? 

Given the state of the country at the moment even just waking up and having a job is a blessing.  There are just so many things we overlook until they are taken away.  Health is a huge one.

So today my thoughts are this....I want to try and remind myself to have and show more gratitude.  To try and remember to count the blessings that do exist.  To remember to feel and show more appreciation.   And to try to always remember to be understanding of others because none of us truly know what others might be thinking, feeling, or going through on the inside. 

If you happen to be reading this today, thanks for checking out my little blog and for sharing a piece of my world.  Blessings.....

Beautiful flower blooming right outside our window.











Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Woof Wednesday


Welcome to Woof Wednesday please meet Maxwell.  His elderly mother could not care for him anymore and so she had to give him up.

He is very affectionate, playful and good with both dogs and kids.   Maxwell does have a heart murmur but the rescue organization says he has no outward symptoms of it and is able to do anything other dogs do.  He would make an ideal companion dog for an older retired person or couple but really would fit in well to any household.

It's not easy being given up by the only mommy he has ever know.  This little guy needs to find a good, loving home.  If you or anyone you know would like to adopt him the contact information is below.  Please let's help find Maxwell a home!

Maxwell: West Highland White Terrier Westie, Dog; Randolph, NJ
Maxwell
West Highland Terrier 
Garden State Westie Rescue, Randolph, NJ
Contact: 201-400-7407 or lmcurry@gmail.com
http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/20213123


{Please keep in mind a dog is a lifetime commitment. They need attention, love and time just like we do. In addition, adding a pet to the family does cost money in the way of food, health care,training,etc. So before adopting make sure you are willing to make that kind of commitment and have the resources to do so.}

*If you want to be apart of "Woof Wednesdays" email Lauren at [lcairdo@gmail.com] or leave a comment! We would Love to bring you on board!

Monday, July 11, 2011

Monday Musings


Monday Musings....

The weekend was rather quiet as I'm still not able to do much with this dizzines/eye head pressure, which is growing worse for some unknown reason.  Feels like my head is about to explode.  The mri was completed on Friday so it's now just waiting for results and follow up with neurologist.

To say I'm anxious and curious about finding out what is causing this horrible sensation would be an understatement.

Twenty minutes of computer work is about all I can do at the moment.  Reading and driving are pretty non existent as well.  Even laying back is becoming very uncomfortable, so it's pretty much become a 24/7. Yikes!

In spite of it we went to the park this weekend because I need to get out of the house! ha (I'm getting ancy and bored not being able to do what I normally do, especially drive)  And at this point I'd be happy if I could simply get to Target and stroll around. ha  And probably be estatic to even just golf.  (totally don't realize what we take for granted each day but this has really changed how I see life)

Besides spending time with the man, well the park felt like the highlight of the weekend.  Taking photos is something I have been able to do, uploading and then formatting that's another story the dizziness isn't so much cooperating with that part.

Anyway that's my life at the moment.  And since I would like to attempt to read a few other blogs this morning that's all I'm going to write because I don't want to push it too much.  Don't forget to stop and smell the flowers this Monday!











Sunday, July 10, 2011

Justice

The tv and media outlets this week and even weekend seemed to be overflowing with nothing but the whole Anthony case.  No matter my opinion of what went down regarding the Anthony trial, I will say this I think people are criticizing the jury a little harshly.  As it appears they did the job they were asked to do.

And deciding ones fate is a very serious task.  It's not for the lighthearted, nor the judgemental.  It requires an individual to have an open mind, to listen to the facts presented, and most of all to be able to put aside their personal feelings.  How many people are capable of that? 

We live in a society that seems to judge anything and everything before even knowing the facts.  Judging, gossiping, bullying, and other such negative energies have become rampant in our society and world.  Yet where does it really get anyone?   Negative energy just attracts more negativity.

Anyway, getting back to the topic.  Everyone seems to be criticizing and focusing on the jurors but what about the prosecution or law enforcement who simply did not collect enough substantial evidence to prove beyond a reasonable doubt.. Or who went for the harshest punishment in a case that was lacking hardcore evidence.  When their is doubt the jury has to go with a verdict of non guilty.

Like it or not that is the system.  Was justice serve?  Probably not is what most would say but then again it happens everyday in our country, in our world.   Problem is most cases go unnoticed because unlike the Anthony trial they aren't thrust into the media spotlight. 

Fact is many a scary criminal of various nature goes free or doesn't get the punishment people feel they deserve because of lack of evidence, improper handling or procedures,  plea deals, etc., yet much of the time it seems to go unnoticed.  Our prisons and jails are overflowing with criminals who should not be free or even let out but are because the system is too overcrowded and overwhelmed.
Look at some of the cases in the news the past few years where individuals have been abducted and often times tortured by criminals just released for the very same crimes they had been in prison for.  What about Jaycee Dugard case there was a parolee who was supposed to be under the supervision of a parole officer yet he held her captive for years.
Or what about the kid a few months ago who shot his family, they had had him in and out of hospitals.  They knew he was a ticking time bomb but just could not get him the help he needed. The system is lacking in many regards. 

And then there are those people who simply should not even be in prison, they need medical/psychological help instead but they never seem to receive the help they need either.  Or what about the innocent people convicted of crimes they never even committed.   Fact is life is simply not just at times. 

What does justice really mean.  And why does the system that is in place seems to fail so often.  There is no easy answer or solution.  It permeates every aspect of life and involves intrincate layers that need to be peeled back, investigated, and redesigned.  And let's not forget it costs money.  Fact is justice seems to be missing in many areas of life but isn't it up to all of us to help change it.  It only takes one person.  If we all stand up and work together for what we feel is unjust, wrong, immoral, not fair, etc., then maybe just maybe we can slowly change the system? 

To get justice, to evoke any kind of change, well as Gandhi said we must first become the change we want to see in the world.  And it isn't going to happen overnight, it's going to take a lot of perseverance, passion, time, and effort to evoke any kind of real change. (just getting through all the layers of government could take decades) haha

For the people who are upset over the verdict, some who even seemed to be crushed by it,why not turn that feeling into action.  Help those who need help.  Become a voice for the victims who have none.  Maybe in this case justice might not have been served but maybe in the future because of it, well maybe it won't be let happen again. 

Everyday there are laws that need support, everyday there are people somewhere crying out for help, everyday there are people that have the choice between right and wrong, the list is long..... know what I mean?  It's the age old good vs evil that will probably always linger.  And all anyone can do is to try to help, listen, not judge, just be there, speak up when needed, and always stand up for what is right.  There are oodles of other things that can be done as well.  Everyone of us has the power to make this world a better more just place to live.  And yeah maybe it's an idealist thing to say but what is the alternative to just not do anything? 




Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Woof Wednesday

Welcome to Woof Wednesday.  Please meet MacDuff and Missy.  Their story tugs at my heart as these two little ones got given up when their family decided they didn't have time for them anymore.

The rescue  ideally would like to place them together so they can remain a family.  MacDuff is a friendly guy. Missy is rather shy.  They really love each other.  In fact, they even sleep snuggled up to one another.  This photo is before grooming.  Both are neutered/spayed and up to date on vaccines, with no health problems.

If you are interested in learning more about MacDuff and Missy their contact information is below.  At this time the rescue would like to speak to people who might be interested in adopting the pair. 

These two sweethearts have only known each other, and after being given up all they have is each other, so please let's find them a home they can go to together.  Not only that but to a family who is willing to give them a good stable home, lots of love, and promises to make them a permanent member of their family! 


MacDuff: West Highland White Terrier Westie, Dog; Rockaway, NJEnlarge Photo

MacDuff


Missy: Scottish Terrier Scottie, Dog; Rockaway, NJEnlarge Photo
 
Missy

MacDuff: West Highland White Terrier Westie, Dog; Rockaway, NJ

MacDuff 10 yo and Missy 6 yo
West Highland Terrier and Scottish Terrier

Scottish Terrier Club of Greater New York Rescue, Rockaway, NJ

Contact: Erica Cerny at ecerny@optonline.net or 973-361-6790 (evenings or weekends)




{Please keep in mind a dog is a lifetime commitment. They need attention, love and time just like we do. In addition, adding a pet to the family does cost money in the way of food, health care,training,etc. So before adopting make sure you are willing to make that kind of commitment and have the resources to do so.}

*If you want to be apart of "Woof Wednesdays" email Lauren at [lcairdo@gmail.com] or leave a comment! We would Love to bring you on board!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Monday Musings

Since my computer time is severely limited lately, and the vertigo is becoming worse my blogging isn't what I would like it to be.  Thought maybe I would just post photos which I tried yesterday but got too dizzy so back to trying today. ha

This weekend was full of ups and downs.  Still cannot do anything that requires a lot of eye focus and the movement of driving well I won't even go there.  I was happy to be able to play Monoply Friday night, and Sunday I was so grateful to be able to go to my family's for dinner.  Though I may have paid for it the next day as Monday was a rough one.

Hoping they get to the bottom of this soon as I feel like I'm missing out on life.  Can't even read a book or go grocey shopping.  Still waiting for the precert by insurance to schedule an mri.  The doc recommended some meds to try while waiting but they haven't been of much help.  Anyway....

So I spent some time taking photos.  Here is a sample of my weekend in photos.  That's about all the photos I could handle uploading today.  At least it's something.....





Friday, July 1, 2011

Thursday Thoughts

No words can describe yesterday.  A day spent with my niece and sister....just a perfect summer day!  (even though still not feeling even close to 100%)   But it helped to be with such a ball of energy like my niece who has a passion for life and fun!

Tuesday's neurology appointment....started off with first them not even having me on the appointment list, followed by my appointment getting switched to a different doctor, and then being told I would first need a contrast brain/ear mri before any diagnosis could be made.   Testing for various causes like tumors, various dieases, and what not.  Yeah not too stressful. ha

The neurologist has heard of this type of dizziness/vertigo, turns out there are people who have experienced what I have, not that it makes me feel that much better but at least I know it's been seen before.  He suggested I try valium or antivert to see if that might help lessen what I'm feeling while I wait.  He says it is rather hit or miss finding medicines that work for vertigo.

So more tests....and honestly those small mri machines scare me, the unknown of what they might see scares me too.  I admit I'm just one big baby when it comes to this medical stuff!  (not to mention this vertigo is making me feel frustrated and sad as it's interfering with way too much)

Phone is being replaced by Verizon as it is malfunctioning yet again.  Note this is the second time they are replacing it.  I had the DARE for years without one problem, yet this one has been a problem since day one.  Interesting.  Anyone love their phone, if so what do you have?

And while trying to get there I had you guessed it a dizzy spell.  Literally just tried to immediately park car and sit still until it passed.  Pretty much need to avoid driving until they figure this out, but then that leaves me stuck at home. Hmmmmmm.......and the man isn't overly understanding.

There was this policeman in the Verizon store who informed me he experienced vertigo spells, now that's rather coincidental don't you think.  You never know who has what, or who experiences this or that.  I used to hold everything in but I find life is better when you just share your thoughts,life, and keep yourself open to the world.  We can all help each other in different ways but we first have to open ourselves to letting people see and hear the real us!

At this point I'm turning over this vertigo/dizziness to God and praying for a miracle of some sorts.  I just want to feel normal again.  I cannot say it enough....but everyday we feel good is really life's biggest blessing. And yet why does it take us not feeling good to realize it. 

When I'm around my niece she also reminds me to stop and see life through her eyes.  Children are great in that they remind us to stop what we are doing and just enjoy the moment.  To simple play... we drew on the driveway with chalk, splashed in her little pool, blew bubbles, had a tea party, played hide and seek, and you know what it....it was fun! (none of the adult stresses of life invaded our fun for those hours) Ahhhhh....

Not the most exciting post but those are my thoughts for today and that is what is happening in my world at the moment.





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