Tuesday, May 10, 2011


Not quite sure why, but lately I have not felt inspired.   In fact,  just writing this I am struggling with finding the right words to accurately describe how I feel.  I kinda feel like my creativity has been drained.  And even maybe lacking in a spiritual sense as well.  The dreamer in me, that always seems to be able to find a little magic to each day feels asleep. 

Could it be I have fallen in the doldrums of this unemployment situation?  With all the effort guess I thought I would have found something spectacular by now, or at least something. haha (plus the solitude of being home all day with no one to talk to gets a tad boring/lonely at times) 

Maybe I just need more time at the beach, that is where I tend to feel the most inspired.  Having once lived in a small beach town it's hard to live anywhere else.  You know a beach vacation would definitely help but not exactly in the budget at the moment. haha 

Or could it be my mans way of thinking rubbing off on me at times too.  Sometimes he has a way of looking at things that is opposite of me which makes me see a side of life I don't always like or believe is right. (if that makes any sense)  And sometimes it makes me feel sad to think about a world like that, which can silence inspiration at times. haha  Maybe I need to turn off the news as well. (its hard to find tv shows that don't involve a lot of drama anymore, ones that simple make you feel good and laugh)

Then again maybe it has to do with the fact that I am overwhelmed with too many thoughts,ideas, to do lists, dreams,desires, wondering how to make it all a reality which causes any inspiration to be clouded as well.  Or maybe I'm just not spending enough time doing creative things. 

Maybe instead of waiting to feel inspiration, I need to simply somehow just create it.  Or find a way to be more productive when I do feel it. 

Or could it be I've gotten away from doing those little things that make me feel a deeper connection to life and a higher power.  I don't remember the last time I just laid in bed and prayed at night. (something I used to do pretty much every night before going to bed)   Maybe I just need to spend a little time outdoors each day as well.  Sometimes simply looking at the puffy clouds on a sunny day or stars on a clear, dark night can bring such inspiration.

Who knows.....

All I know is I desire and need to feel a little inspiration, creativity, magic, or whatever you want to call it. 

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