Thursday, March 31, 2011

Thursday Thoughts

So we are bracing for yet another Nor'easter here in Philadelphia.  Supposedly it will stay a little farther North so that we won't see any real snow, but either way we will see a lot of rain!  It is chilly here, and I'm very much longing for Spring at the moment.   As I was running errands in my rain boots this morning I kept wishing I was wearing flip flops instead.

And yes I did go through yet another procedure on the vein.  Maybe something was not done properly the first time on the blood clot as the dr actually has seemed very perplexed, which makes me feel rather uneasy.  After the first time I literally had to go back 3 times after because he kept thinking maybe he was overlooking something.  Anyway, the vein was injected with some kind of hardening agent and right now I'm just praying it works.  It doesn't feel good at all.  Pray, pray, pray, pray.

I found out bad news too, the health insurance extension I received when I got laid off is about to expire. So that means I will be without health insurance, something with all these recent issues I cannot be without.  And now I have to seriously figure out what to do. 

By the way, Good Morning America is doing a survey today on the unemployment that is going on in our country at the moment.  They had people tweet them whether they had a job or needed a job, and where they live.  Tomorrow they are going to review the results, to compare it to what the government report says.  Truthfully I'm hoping our government soon wakes up and realizes how many people are still out of work.  I have never experienced such a difficult job market as the one now.  And I'm following all the advice, and every step these so called job experts and recruiter experts recommend.  I've sent out more resumes, written more follow up mail then when I first graduated college.  It's been a crazy experience, and I have definitely learned that some fields of study are much better than others during economically poor times!

In other news, the man got contacted by A&E who wanted to know if he would be interested in being featured in a documentary they are doing on gambling.  Now as you may or may not know, the man runs a side business as a Sports Handicapper.  What that means is he analyzes games based on a statistical models he has created, then decides what teams he feels will win, and sells those picks on his website.  In return people who like to gamble pay for his picks.  This is something he puts a lot of work and hours into. (and when he allows me to I help as well)

First, let me just say I am excited to hear they are interested in talking to him, but I don't know how comfortable I feel about the topic.  It is one thing to do a documentary on sports handicappers but if the focus is on gambling that's a little different.  Concept and editing can vary greatly in the finish product of any tv program.  As he has a regular 9-5 job for which he really likes, not to mention is incredibly successful at, so don't want anything to jeopardize that. (keep in mind us both getting laid off last yr was really scary)   Though if the documentary just pertained to handicapping it would be good not to mention great advertising too.  We'll see.

Life it always holds something.  Lately I feel like I need a life preserver to stay afloat.  Or a double stuff golden oreo, which by the way is made with no eggs and one of the few cookies I can eat.  That little cookie has been such a delight.  See it really is the small things in life that make us the happiest!

Those are my thoughts for today.  And I need to remind myself....

"Expect the best, not the worst, and you will attain your heart's desire".

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Woof Wednesday

Woof Wednesday is here.  Please meet Opi, he is a wonderful adult, male Weimaraner.

He is house broken and good with other dogs and cats. Opi is sweet, affectionate and loyal. Opi is a great dog that would make an excellent companion or family pet.   Opi like so many other dogs, needs a good home.  And a family he can call his own who will adore and love him, as he will them! 

He is currently staying in a foster homes so if you are interested in him the contact information is below.

Male Weimaraner
Cumberland County SPCA and Animal Shelter, Vineland, NJ

{Please keep in mind a dog is a lifetime commitment. They need attention, love and time just like we do. In addition, adding a pet to the family does cost money in the way of food, health care,training,etc. So before adopting make sure you are willing to make that kind of commitment and have the resources to do so.}

*If you want to be apart of "Woof Wednesdays" email Lauren at [] or leave a comment! We would Love to bring you on board!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Monday Musings

Another Monday where I feel at a loss for words. And quite truthfully it is not so much that I am at a loss for words, as it is I have too much to say and not enough patience to write it concisely down. My thoughts seem to be all over the place. 

Oh I have composed a few posts but they are more me journaling my emotions, and not quite being sure if I want to share those details with the world.  In some regards those very personal, deep thoughts can be hard to let just anyone read.

And that is where blogging is difficult as the whole purpose behind my blog was to be able to journal my true feelings and thoughts, but some days those blogs I start writing just end up as drafts that will never be posted.  Truth be told there are just some blogs that I feel would be hard for anyone who didn't know me personally to truly understand. 

And some of what I choose to write might actually be misunderstood at times as well.  That's one of  the reasons I dislike texting because so much can be misconstrued, lets face it written words are basically interpreted by each individual.  Two people can read the same book and come away with two completely different ideas of what the book was about. 

Anyway, the weekend was a mellow one.  And rather cold here in Philly.  We are 12 degrees below normal temperature wise.  Spring seriously cannot get here soon enough.

Saturday was basically spent watching basketball.  It was the mans birthday so made him a nice steak dinner, followed by a homemade cake and presents.  And he got some nice rubs on both Sat/Sun as well.   We were suppose to go to a family party, which I had really been looking forward to, but my niece and sister came down with pink eye in both eyes.  That was definitely a little disappointing as I adore any moments I get to spend with my neice and family.

And Sunday seemed to start off as a good day yesterday turned into a little bit of a stressful night and left me feeling like some days I give more than I get back in certain areas of my life.  I know, I know those are things I should not dwell on.  Nor just because I was feeling that way does it mean it is true, but there are moments of life where sometimes as humans we just want to know that others care about us, about our feelings, needs, desires, dreams, thoughts, views, etc., just as much as we care about theirs.  And there are going to be moments where sometimes we feel like we might care more.  That is life.

Oh and I have to go back to the dr tomorrow because it feels like another blood clot has developed.  Seriously, this has me a nervous wreck because I haven't exactly healed from the previous one.  And it was so painful that I cannot imagine going through it all again. Not to mention the feeling of having to be dependent on others if they confine me to bed rest again. Ugh.  When I said the other day that my immune system needs a serious boost I meant it.

Well it's Monday and that means it is time to start anew.  This week can be amazing or not, it is up to us to make it the best we possibly can.  Think positive, have hope and smile we are one day closer to Friday! haha

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Beautiful Dreams

Dream beautiful dreams, believe in yourself and the perseverance to make them come true.

I think it is a fact that everyone dreams.  It is the one of those things that pretty much at one time or another everyone in this universe does.  But out of all those dreams people dream, how many become a reality....

Life gets in the way sometimes.  Things happen that change what we dreamed our life might be or might have in it.  But that doesn't mean we should give up dreaming, or stop believing in our dreams.  Any dream has the potential to be a reality, maybe sometimes it might need to be tweaked here or there.  Or maybe as our lives change we simply need to create new dreams too.

But today we should not worry about any of that.  Just dream.  Maybe even write those dreams in a journal.  We live in a world where anything is possible, but first we must realize what our dreams truly are.  That is a lesson I am continually learning.  If we don't have any concrete dreams, if we don't know what our dreams truly are or what we truly desire in life, then how can we possibly make our dreams come true.

Truth is.... maybe not all our dreams will come true, maybe there are more important things we are meant to to be or do, but if we don't dream or try to make our dreams a reality we will never know.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011


"Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy"

The link below is to a fascination and inspiring story the Today show aired.  And I felt it should be shared.

This little boy's experience is amazing, and there are many others like him.  I had a friend who's Aunt once experienced something very fact it was so amazing she always told her family she wished they had just let her stay there. 

And so it remains one of the great mysteries of life.  Is there life after this one on earth, does heaven exist, and if so what is it really like?  Everyone has their own opinions, each religion believing a little something different.  Some don't believe at all.  And for many it is a hard subject to discuss because of the varying beliefs and views.  But the fact remains that many a person has had the experience of this child, recalling details that they would have no way of knowing. 

In this little boys case he met a sister he never know he had, as his mother had miscarried before he ever came into their lives. She herself never knew the sex of the baby.  And he met a great grandfather he never knew here.  He could recount the wear abouts of each of his family members, what they were doing, etc, while he was clinical not alive.  Oh the skeptics will always doubt, the atheists will always say it is some kind of mind trick, but I'm sorry certain details that the mind has never encountered, known or learned while here on do we account for those little things? 

I'll admit at times I can be a doubting Thomas.  Somedays it is hard to believe in Heaven, or life after here, especially when there is much suffering sometimes here on earth.  Maybe there is a reason for it, maybe not.  But the fact of the matter is there are many things in life that cannot be explained.  There are many mysteries to life that we may never know the answer to.  But upon hearing such stories it is hard not to believe, hard not to have faith, in Heaven.

And when asked what Heaven was like....this little boy said it is filled with lots of people, colors and animals.  And everyone has wings.  Which makes you wonder....

What is Heaven?  What is it really like?  Is it the same for everyone?  Do we all meet up with those we love?  And if Heaven is real....What do we do there?  Do we have the opportunity to come back to earth?  And the biggest question of all....Does what we do here on earth, how we live our lives, treat others, do our actions and behaviors influence or directly have an affect on Heaven?

Something to think about today and always.

"Life is a tapestry:  We are the warp; angels, the weft; God, the weaver.  Only the Weaver sees the whole design"

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Immune Boost

"Today....we have the chance to create our life exactly as we want it."

So, I've mentioned this before but I need to get serious about it.  My immune system seems to be at an all time one year I've had more colds than I had in ten years, if I get a bruise it seems to linger, and I've come down with so many other odd ailments.  I've had blood work which tested fine but no one can seem to explain how my immune system seems to have taken such a hit.  And I'm guessing it is somewhat of a combination of factors that have contributed and eventually had a cumulative effect.

And I realize I can't just sit around hoping and waiting for it to rebound, it is time to make some changes. 

First I need to find a place of calm in my soul, a place where the stresses of life can't seem to access so readily. I need to feel more of a sense of trust, faith, and overall goodness in my life.  And need to create more fun moments spent laughing, and less time spent worrying.  Emotions do play a big part in our overall well being. Our hearts and minds needs to be nourished in more ways then just ingesting healthy foods. 

I'm thinking I should try reading books that make me feel happy or inspire. Maybe turn off the negative news/tv programs for more comedies/ uplifting programs.  Immerse my soul in things that bring me a sense of joy, and surround myself with loving, happy souls.  More time spend snuggling with those I love. Just some ideas.

Second I need to find ways of boosting my immune system for which I am keeping an open mind and willing to try just about anything. (well as long as it is compatible with this medication I take for my fast heart rate)  I bought some chewable vitamins at Target that are delicious....a multi, Omego 3 and calcium.  I feel like I cook healthy meals, the whole meat, potato, and veggie combo, but maybe I need  to add more vegetables.  And if I'm taking calcium maybe I should add magnesium. 

Third I need to add some movement to my day, not just cleaning the house. (although it is a workout in itself)  Maybe add yoga might be a good place to start, and maybe try my hand at meditating again. (although both I find hard as I get ancy)  I would also love to sign up for dance lessons with the man, as I hear they can be incredibly fun.  I'm trying real hard to convince him we should work out together, it would be a great way to spend our down time together. (although nothing crazy because he isn't suppose to be doing anything too strenuous with his neck/back)  He gets busy with his website so we don't get a lot of date type moments so I thought light working out might be a lot of fun.  Maybe even buy ourselves bikes! (we'll see as I know this will take A LOT of convincing)  Even a walk after dinner each evening would be perfect!

Fourth, the biggest goal of mine is to start praying everyday.  I say I'm going to, and I do for a little, then something always seems to get me off track.  And I cannot let that happen.  Guess you could say I would like to feel more spirituality in my life.  It is similar to that magical feeling I get on warm summer days, looking at flowers, relaxing at the beach, or when gazing at the stars. And incredibly hard to put into words.  Sometimes I've just had moments where things that have happened in life have questioned my beliefs, faith, and overall feeling of goodness in people but I cannot let that happen.  And I admit I have never been an overly religious individual to begin with, I'm one of those types who questions everything, to be able to find more faith and pray daily would be an incredible accomplishment. And I believe a very rewarding one as well.

The plan is to research ways to increase the immune system but I'm also hoping that maybe anyone who reads this also might have some suggestions too.  I wonder has anyone tried any of these products people talk about that supposedly boost the immune system such as Avemar?  Or what vitamins or foods might help?  I consider myself fairly knowledgeable in the health and wellness area but I've definitely gotten away from it the past few years.  So maybe there are new products on the market that I am not familiar with.  It is time to brainstorm.  To give my immune system the boost it needs.

I'm open to any and all suggestions.....

Monday, March 21, 2011

Monday Musings

Monday again.

So many thoughts today that I cannot seem to organize into any kind of order.  My writing may just be all over the place.

There is a certain point during the winter that I always seem to lose inspiration, and become bogged down by the cold weather and what seem like endless cloudy days.  So for me Spring could not come soon enough.  I miss the warm weather, sunny days and flowers in bloom.  Wish that somehow the warm weather season could last a little longer.  There just isn't enough warm days, nor flower and garden season.  I need those inspirations.  Combine my winter blah with all the other stuff I have seemed to have going on lately and my writing has lacked.

Lately the man has been waking up at ridiculously early hours, and me being a light sleeper, well I pretty much awake too.  Honestly 4 and 5 am are just too early.  I miss my 7 to 8 hours of sleep.  And it worries me because the more he does it the more routine it will become for his body to wake up at such early hours.  They say 5 or less hours sleep a night can have a really negative affect on the body.  Actually I think lack of sleep can bring on crankiness, and/or real sleepy moments by afternoon.

So both Philly teams were eliminated from the NCAA Tourney, first Villanova then Temple.  And poor Temple and Penn State had to play each other in the first round.  No fair.  So now it has lost some of it's luster as it is always more fun when your team advances.  Should be interesting to see who advances as there have been some very close games.

Finally used a certificate I have had laying around for years now from Inspired Silver, only to get the ring and have it be chipped all around the rim of both sides. What a shame because I love the look of the ring.  If anyone knows of any other sites or stores that sell inexpensive chunky silver bands please let me know.  Thanks.

Well honestly this Monday has been a busy one and all I want to do is curl up under the covers and do a little snuggling.  Maybe daydream about what kind of gardens to plant when it actually does warm up.  Ahhhh....Mondays aren't they grande.  Happy Spring!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Soul Moments

"The soul is not where it lives, but where it loves."

A few days ago we were on a mini beach vacation.  It was a birthday present from the man, a three day getaway.  Our room was 711 which in this casino town is considered lucky.  And yes we played a little roulette and won on our room number more than once.  We dined out every night, which for us is something quite special given we rarely go out to eat.  We got to spend some quality time without the technological distractions of life. Overall it was delightful.

Truth be told though the real delight came on the beach.  Oh yes the temperatures are still rather chilly here on the east coast but that doesn't stop a true beach lover.  We had a beach front hotel so the ocean was only steps away.  If it had not been rather chilly I probably would have been on the beach from morning until evening, as no matter the season the beach touches my soul in ways I cannot truly describe in word.

Oh I can sit on the beach and stare at the ocean all day.  No books, music, or anything else to occupy my soul while at the beach, as the beauty of the nature that surrounds me is all I need.  Although I must admit to share it with those I love, to share that moment together, makes it feel even more special.

Have you ever had a soul moment?  Where you feel like you are home, a moment where your whole body is overwhelmed with happiness, a feeling of awe toward life and your surroundings.  Well being on the beach, feeling the sand, listening to the ocean, smelling the salt air and touching the beautiful shells does to me.  It transports my soul to a whole new level of being.  It captivates my soul. 

Having once lived by the beach in California, it is something I think about everyday as I miss living steps away from the beach, I miss being able to sit and look at the sea.  I miss all the sounds, smells, and feelings that go along with living in a beach town.  And my soul longs to live by the beach again.  But for now I can only be grateful for those moments I do get to spend at the beach.  Those soul moments of life, that make me remember what living is truly all about. 

"Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul."

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Happy St Patrick's Day!

Two of my favorite Irish Blessings.

May God give you...
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.

May you always have walls for the winds,
a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire,
laughter to cheer you, those you love near you,
and all your heart might desire. 

Happy St Patrick's Day!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Life Moments

"God is working things out for you, even when you don't feel it. Have faith and be thankful."

Wow I happened upon this quote today, and could not come at a better moment.  A moment where I feel I need God's help and support more than ever.  I need to know he is out there, that there is a purpose to all I've been going through lately and all I have had to deal with.  

As I laid in bed last night I prayed for calmness, understanding, strength, help, courge,trust, unconditional love and a few other things.  Although I strongly lean toward belief in a higher power there are those days where I still sometimes feel abandoned.  I think most people do at one time or another. And last night as I lay there at 2 am I felt so helpless.  And I think it was because my faith in the goodness of humanity felt shattered.  My love, faith, trust, you name it, the overall feeling of goodness in others felt rather crumbled, as if it vanished into the unknown darkness of life.

It is easy to believe when everything in life is going good, but happening upon those rough patches of life can really cause one to question and doubt their faith.  For me I struggle sometimes with why a God would let anyone feel such pain sometimes,whether emotional or physical. Those are the very moments it can be hard to sustain faith. Hard to believe in the goodness of life, in the goodness of others.

It is difficult to express in words.  Maybe it's that I feel deep down I'm a good person, with a good heart and soul, I try to always see the goodness in others, I give people more chances than they probably deserve at times, I would do anything for family and friends, I try to live a good life, be a good person with strong values and morals, work to try to constantly better myself, I try to be supportive and understanding, and well many other things as well.

Point is, and I think we all go through this at times, I just don't understand why life just can't be easier some days.  Why it seems just when I think everything is great, just at those moments where I feel an overwhelming sense of trust, happiness, love, and whatever else....something seems to happen to override those divine moments.

And I guess today is just one of those days where I feel lost in a world that can be hard to understand at times.  Where sometimes it feels goodness seems like a rare gem.

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