Sunday, February 20, 2011

Reality Check

As I lay here on the couch I realize, no truly realize, how much I take for granted those days when feeling good.  Then again don't we all. 

It has been a very busy, rather hectic week with more on the agenda than normal.  And in the midst of it a little medical emergency arose.  I developed a horrible pain in to put in bluntly the butt region, to the point even sitting or walking was extremely painful. Long story short it turned out to be a blood clot.  Resulting in it having to be extracted.  Honestly, didn't think much about it because if it meant relieving the pain than it needed to be done.
Honestly no words, and I mean no words can describe the pain afterwards.  Of course no words can describe the needles used to numb the area either.  Oh I've had 4 wisdom teeth removed not taking any pain med, cracked my head open as a kid, had needles and stitches in my lips, fingers, you name it, but for the first time in my life I had to actually take a narcotic pain killer.  And you know what even that did nothing for the pain. Excruciating is the only way to describe it.

I was told that area of our bodes has 10 times more nerves than say the hand. Oh trust me I believe it!
Quite frankly I cried like a baby for a good hour or two afterwards because it hurt so bad. And forget about sleep as I was up trying to find something to watch in the wee morning hours.  They told me I was to stay off my feet for a few days, now for me that is the hard part because resting on the couch I just keep thinking of all that needs to be done which isn't much of a distraction from the pain. The dishes, laundry, and you name it backing up.  Literally went to try to fill the pitcher with water and could not get in the sink. (so hence I had to be on my feet a little to at least clean up the stack of dishes in the sink)

Had the clot removed on Wednesday evening, and the pain has yet to subside.  And I hope when it does that I come back to read what I've written here.  To remember that any day without pain, any day that one feels good should be a good day.

To make matters worst in the midst of all the pain I've now come down with a cold....oh yeah scratchy throat, stuffy nose, and an irritating cough that sends the pain spiraling way past a 10.  Not to mention the cold makes it hard to sleep too. That saying "when it rains it pours" could not be more true in this situation.

And now I finally get it.  Get the fact that even with all this technology we have....some pain cannot be cured or resolved easily, sometimes there are no simple ways to relieve it.  And even the pain killers we do have to try to combat it can be incredibly addicting.  Quite frankly that is a fact of life that is a tad depressing to realize. And I've learned that pain for the most part can be rather subjective, hard to define, hard to categorize and different for each individual.

What a week. So much happened but this really put some perspective into play.  Actually started writing this on Friday yet only today am I getting around to even posting.  But I'm hoping by capturing this moment in words that I can look back on those good days and appreciate them even more!

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