Thursday, September 2, 2010

Faith

"Fatih is the daring of the soul to go farther than it can see."

Wow not sure any quote could say it better.  We are making some big changes in our world right now.  And at this point, relying on faith in a way we never have before.  We won't know if the changes we are making th are good or bad decisions until we live them.  We know what we have now, but we are risking it to explore creating a better world for us and Angel.

And I won't lie it feels rather scary.  Of course the unknown is always scary and sometimes change is good.  As the saying goes "you cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."
We put this decision in God's hands really.  We felt that whatever decision we received back would be a sign as to what we should do. 

So what is the risky decision?   We decided to relocate to a new area, and new home.  There are no guarantees that come with our new home.  We will be renting it for a year from a couple who wants to save for their wedding.  We are praying that if we are happy there they will let us stay longer but again no guarantees.

 So it feels risky because my man doesn't have the best credit right now, and finding places can be very difficult.  So when we got the yes from them we decided it was a sign to move. We just hope that it works out in the long run. 

We love the inside of the 1st floor of the house we rent right now, who wouldn't it is newly renovated which is extrememly hard to give up.  But for all the pros there were major cons....basement that floods for which the water was never pumped out nor even ventilated, now mold is starting to grow.  The house has no water spouts so rain just drains into house.

And did I mention if the two apts above take poops we can smell it in the basement, and walls in our office room.  Landlords knew about all of this but never did any thing.  They don't care that their basement floods, and they leave the water to dry on it's own.

Oh and the upstairs lady whos tv is so loud that you can hear it outside in the driveway when her windows are shut and ac on.  So you can only imagine what that sounded like to us at midnight when we were trying to sleep. And quite frankly a neighborhood that was so so. Many love living on the Main Line area of Philadelphia but I don't find much appealing about it to be honest.

So we had to do something.  And when this place came along we decided to take the chance.  It is a little more money, and a little farther commute into the city for my man but hopefully it works out. And did I mention it is a cute, little cottage house?  No photos to post yet because we don't move in until October.

Anyway.... I'm praying real hard these days.  And praying for faith to trust in what we can't always know or see.

I think there is a spiritual aspect of life that has gone missing in my life for a while now, and it's time to somehow bring that more into focus. I am one of those people who doubts man walked on the moon,  and will never understand why there is so much suffering in the world.  So for me I feel I need to start believing something bigger. And so I'm trying to learn to have faith. To have hope.  To believe that maybe just maybe there is a larger force than ourselves guiding us.


{these are photos from the house we currently reside in}

  So it looks really nice but below in the basement and in the walls is mold and all kinds of bad things that the landlords don't address. So like the saying goes don't always judge a book by it's cover because in this case you never know what is lurking below.

Anyway, just really hoping it all works out.

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