Wednesday, March 31, 2010

OMG

Honestly today I was all set to write a happy blog but sorry I'd be faking it.  Have you ever had a day where you feel completely let down and hurt by another?   If you have, then you will understand what my day has been like. 

It's unbelievable, you see for once I put my trust 100% completely in someone.  Due to some past experiences trust is something that doesn't come easy, and when I give it I give it with all my heart. 

So imagine getting to the point where you give your trust to someone, and they don't even understand how huge that is in itself....but then that person does something to dishonor that trust you put in them.   I cannot even put into words how I feel right now because there is a rawness to it that just hurts in a way I cannot put into words.

I guess I will never understand why people make promises, or swear on their lives they won't do certain things, or give up certain things, etc., only to turn around and break their promises or word.   When I give my word to someone, when I make a promise I mean it and I don't take it lightly.  And if I knew something I did would hurt the one I love....I would never even contemplate doing it.  

Somedays I really feel like the nicer you are the more you get shit on.  Sorry I know that is not very positive but it is reality.  I know people who are down right mean, superficial, negative, money hungry, you name it....but somehow they attract people who treat them like gold.  Yeah I know it's not always true but on days like this it seems like it.

Can anyone relate?  Anyone got some positive quotes for today?

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Compassion

So my boyfriend had a root canal down yesterday by his friend who has his own practice in New York City.  Since he has no dental insurance at the moment and needed this desperately his friend was very kind to offer his services for free because as he put it that's what friends are for.

Well he told my boyfriend it was one of the worst he has ever seen.  My man has little tolerance for pain and he basically hasn't left bed since 4 yesterday.  You have to know my man....he fully admits he is super cranky when feeling anything but good, and he means it!   When he doesn't feel good he just wants to be left alone.

Yesterday around 6 he's yelling I'm making too much noise and he's going to go to a hotel if it doesn't quiet down.  But is there a quiet way to make dinner and take out the trash?  Our bedroom happens to be in the middle of the place....it literally connects the office on one side and the kitchen on the other.  So it's impossible to be quiet when certain things need to be done.   Anyway....getting to the point he then informs me I have no compassion for when he isn't feeling well.

Well that opened up a whole can of worms because I do so much for him, that for him to say that was so hurtful.  I offered to make him soft food...no.  Offered to get water ice...no.  Plus, every week for the past two months he has had either back pain, neck pain, tooth pain, sprained ankle,etc..  I seriously can't keep track of it anymore but I've shown plenty of compassion.  Last tooth surgery I drove him, picked up ice packs, cooked him soup, and picked up meds for him.  When he sprained his foot I brought him ice packs and offered to take him to the doctor.  I cooked and cleaned up all meals when he could not stand because of his hernaited disc.

Besides that, I do all the cleaning, most of the cooking, surprise him with little notes all the time, give him rubs, and like this past weekend did all his laundry not to mention made sure he had the perfect birthday day.  But I guess he doesn't think that is important nor that it is hard work?   After all my work on Friday and Saturday I felt exhausted and sore but didn't get any compassion.  And to top it off my day was just completely overlooked and I could have gone for even a simple rub.

As I've been going through my own things....four major teeth procedures with no novacaine for which I didn't get much compassion from him (he even questioned why I would need a ride), eye pain for which they are sending me for more tests and has me stressed out, and a nasty cold during that time too.   Not once when I had my cold did he offer to cook me soup, nor did he try to be quiet when I needed extra sleep. 

Why is it some people don't understand or see how much others really do for them?  Yet don't get that sometimes peoples supply of compassion runs out when they don't receive some back. 
Can you tell I'm a little peeved today?  Yeah that's definitely the word because I think people should think about all others do for them before they speak.  I need some compassion some days too.  Even little things like breakfast in bed or flowers just to say thanks,  or not having to beg for my day, or once cleaning the bathroom, or surprising me by doing all our laundry that would mean a lot.  Or when my eye hurts rubbing my back without me having to ask. 

Don't get me wrong I love him and appreciate him for who he is.  I have no problem taking care of him but once in awhile my stores of compassion need to be replenished too. 

Today I just needed to vent.   And I'm hoping that someone out there can relate to such moments.  ; )

So maybe that's something we should all ponder a little today.  What are ways in which we can show more compassion for others, yet also let anothers know that somedays we need to feel the same in return?   Do you ever have days where you feel you give more compassion then you receive? 

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Keep Your Word

So we came up with this concept of creating days, each week we get two days that are suppose to be days in which one of us caters to the other.   In concept it really is a great idea because it allows each person a chance to share what means the most to them and to feel completely spoiled with undivided attention for a little.

Although, somehow my days always seemed to get cancelled or moved. Like this weekend, my day got moved yet again and then just didn't happen.  My days always seem to get disrepected like that and it disappoints me because not only do I look forward to them, but it is important to me to feel like I have a special day where my desires and happiness are given presedence.

It got me thinking....how many times in general does that happen to most of us?  People say they will do things and then somehow don't....which leaves the feeling of disappointment, disrepect and a feeling like their word isn't good in the future. 

I think it's important in life....to keep the promises or commitments we make unless of course an emergency of some sort happens, that'sa different story.  But when you keep promises or plans that is what builds trust and respect.  People feel they can rely on other's word and that their word is good.  When plans or promises are continually cancelled then others feel disrespect, they come to feel they can't trust another word.

Oh well just something to think about.  Guess my advice would be always keep your word.  People respect it, people will adore you for it, and people come to trust you in ways that are hard to find in our society these days. 
All right I'm off to watch Celebrity Apprentice!   Anyone watching?

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Where To Live and Work Woes

This whole unemployment situation has me feeling torn.  It's ironic that we would both be laid off at the same time, and I try to explain to my boyfriend that it's important now to find jobs we love.  And to think about where we really want to live. 

Before moving in together we lived about a hour apart.  I moved to this area because he already had a job, and needed to stay within a certain area closer to it.  But this town has yet to grow on me....in my opinion it's too congested, the houses are on top of each other, and there isn't a lot of nature around.  I thrive on nature, open land, and space.  Where we live now we have no privacy whatsoever, and it's really getting to me.

Guess I just don't feel comfortable in this area, I dread having to even run an errand.  Our street literally comes out to a very busy, main route that takes you to the blue route or the city.  It's just always cars and people, nothing is quaint. Although,I like the place we rent as everything is new inside.

I feel this would be the perfect time to try to find a town we both love, and to tie that into finding jobs close to that place of choice.

What has me thinking about all this is my boyfriend has an interview this week.  In the city, at a large company that is just like his last two previous jobs.    And he wasn't happy in his previous two jobs, he spent most of his time complaining about working in the large, corporate type environments.   Let's face it those working environments just are not for some people.  

So I think that is a sign for him, to a find a smaller, private type firm.....a position where he has a lot of control and responsibilities because he thrives on that.  He is so smart and I don't want him to take just
any job at this point.  He is smart enough to run his own company, even partnering with someone who is creating a startup would be great for him. 

Plus, if we chose to live farther outside the city his commute would be long.  He wasn't happy having to drive 45 mins to work before and the areas I prefer would be a hour train into the city. Not to mention working in Philadelphia causes more taxes taken out.  And once again advancement would be a long process because of the size of the company.  These are all things I think about when considering a job.

I've lived all over the country so I have a better idea then most where I want to live.  I'm concerned about that now I've done the long commutes and they are not for me.  It's really making finding a job hard though because the jobs I would rather have would be near the places I would rather live.  Make sense?

Oh what to do.  The simple answer would be start our own business.....a girl can dream right.



Monday, March 22, 2010

Monday Musings

Yes Monday is here again.  Where do the weekends go? 

Here in Pennsylvania we are waking up to rain, which is suppose to continue for the next two days.  That's okay though because we had over a week of beautiful weather and sometimes you need rain to balance it.  I've always found rainy days are good for baking, snuggling, and catching up on things that you just don't do when it's beautiful outside.

Upon finding out that Congress had pushed the healthcare bill through last night I had trouble getting to sleep.  There I was on the couch at 1 am thinking what is our government doing?   It's not like I don't think healthcare needs some kind of reform, but I just don't think right now is the time for such a plan.   Not when our unemployment rate is at an all time high, not when our social security system is in a serious crisis, not when our banks and market are failing, and well you get the picture.

The overall majority of Americans weren't behind the bill, yet it got passed.   And I guess it just makes me question....do we really live in a Democracy?  Or is our country becoming one in which our government controls everything and we the people have no say?   Let me ponder it more because right now I feel too emotionally charged about the subject. 

This weekend was just overall low key.  Villanova was upset by Cornell so Saturday was defintely rather disappointing to us basketball fans.   We spent much of the weekend watching the college basketball tournament, I spent some time outdoors as with temperatures in the 70's it was hard to stay inside, and I cleaned my desk which was filled with a lot of paperwork, news clippings, and bills that need to be filed and organized.   I just wasn't feeling 100% this weekend so I felt I needed to just chill.  

So any Dancing with the Stars fans out there?   I haven't watched it much lately but this season intrigues me because they seemed to put together quite a cast.   I'll be tuning in tonight to get a feel for the new cast and to see if I might be more interested in watching this season.   Dancing definitely appears much more of a workout then I ever imagined, I tried to convince my man that we should sign up to a few lessons but his reaction was pretty much no way.  To be honest I don't even know if I could handle the dancing they do on that show. haha

Well I'm starting off this Monday with a dentist appointment.  Fun stuff.  Hope your weekend was fun and that your Monday is a good one!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

St Paddy's Day Golf

The weather here in Philadelphia was absolutely gorgeous today.  Pure sun and temperatures in the 60's.  So we decided to take full advantage of it and went golfing.

I love to golf.   I like being outdoors and it's a great way to let go of stress.  The only downside is keeping up with play because some golfers are fast, and so if the course is crowded you really have to move at a quick pace. 

And I enjoy playing with my man because he always gives me great tips and usually we have a good laugh over some crazy shot one of us usually has.  Just a great way to spend the day.

Oh and maybe people who are not from Pennsylvania will find this interesting the golf course sits right by a nuclear power plant.  In fact, I took a photo of the view from the course of it.  It is an strange feeling seeing one of those. Plus the golf course was literally but in the middle of a new housing development. 

So we were  driving our golf cart literally a few feet from someones house.   The golf cart paths actually go right through the neighborhood roads, so you drive through one neighbors side and pick it up on the other side of the road.  There is no way those houses are taking afternoon naps during the summer, not with the sound of golf carts whipping around.  Too funny.

Given today is St. Patrick's Day I'm sporting my Irish Princess T Shirt, as I am half Irish.  Though not really much of a drinker, and I think that has something to do with being small.  Like the taste of beer but just never been into that whole buzz or get drunk feeling which I pretty much feel after one or two drinks. So I just celebrate the holiday by wearing green or eating Irish food.

In honor of Saint Patrick's Day here's an Irish Blessing! 

May you always have walls for the winds,
a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire,
laughter to cheer you, those you love near you,
and all your heart might desire.


Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Scandalous

I don't know about anyone else but all this sex scandalous stuff having to do with the golfer and also the politician that seems to be consuming our headline news both angers and saddens me.  Notice I'm not even mentioning their names as neither man deserves it.  I'm annoyed at hearing about it all the time, and knowing they did such horrible things to the very people they claimed to love is just sad.

And ever worse are those who get involved with people who they know are taken already.  How can anyone feel good about doing that to another person?

What has happened to this world?  What has happened to love?  What has happened to sustainable relationships like our grandparents era.

Whether married or just in a relationship why does it seem so hard for people to stay loyal, or for that matter be honest.  I've read and heard so many various opinions on this topic, the majority of people seemed genuinely disgusted by these mens action.  But those minority who think it's okay, that it's hard to physical resist hot people, or that men need variety well they are the people who really disgust me.

Just can't comprehend putting someone you love through that, or being able to even do such things knowing you have someone that loves you with all their heart waiting for you at home.   It just makes me want to cry knowing someone inflicted that hurt on another.

The fact is there are people like that, and yet is there any way to change that type of behavior?   Does the golfer even realize what he did is wrong, does he have true remorse?   For every person that thinks it was wrong there is someone that doesn't.  I knew a guy who used to visit massage parlors that gave happy endings, in fact he paid for online phone sex too while in a relationship.  And you know what?  He never thought it was cheating.  That is the mentality that many people have, and they will never understand how it can shatter hearts, lives and ruin a relationships emotional and physical bond. 

Not only that but then others wonder why it would make the partner being hurt go psycho such as many say the golfers and politicians wife went.  Well hello....they have a right to feel mad, they put their heart and trust in another who basically stomped all over it.  Or better yet these same people wonder why it is their partners mistrust them.

 There is a trust that is shattered that is very hard, if not near impossible to rebuild.   When a person chooses to let another intimately into their world, share their heart and soul, then to find they let someone else in their intimate world whether physically or even emotional is just a horrible, gut wrenching feeling.  Even flirting can be done to the point it risks hurting another.

Why as a country, as a world can't we find a way to sustain relationships in which people are honest, loyal, faithful, loving, and whatever else.  When one truly loves someone they just don't do those things, they shouldn't want to do anything that would hurt or jeopordize what they have.  Has our world become too consumed with lust over love?  With porn?  With technology that in some ways even contributes to it?

Maybe I'm old school but I believe in the sanctuary of love, of friendship, of honoring and respecting those we love. That means being honest, being loyal, and most of all being committed to love both physically and emotionally. Yes at some point life throws temptation everyones way, life is constantly trying to test us, and the real test of life is the journey of love and finding the strength, the soul, the heart to love not only unconditionally but faithfully.

I really would love to hear others views on this.  When you turn on the tv or pick up a paper and these scandals are all the top news headlines....how does it make you feel?   Thoughts?

Monday, March 15, 2010

Monday Musings

It's Monday once again.  Here in Philadelphia it is still raining.  Another Nor'easter moved in on Friday and is still hanging around.  This storm was rather intense, the winds actually caused our gas grill to fall over....those  aren't light so it definitely came as a surprise.

It was a low key weekend spent watching college basketball.  For anyone that isn't a sports fan March Madness has basically begun and the countdown to the championship starts this week.  Villanova got a 2nd seed which is great, and so our house will be officially rocking come Thursday when Villanova's game tips off.   It's exciting time of year to college basketball fans.  And it's great when any Philly school earns a spot.

Other than that I've been sending out more resumes to the few new job listings that are posted.  There just aren't many jobs listed on any of the job sites, compared to a few years ago the job market seems so bleak.

It's crazy because now I have this time off but no money to really do anything so I'm basically stuck in the house. Plus it's hard because I don't really like the area I live in now, it's too congested and the houses are all on top of one another.  But without jobs we are pretty much stuck here because it's affordable.  Actually that's something I'd like to touch on maybe in another post.

If only I could take a vacation or just had a little extra money to spend to go to a musuem, play, or something we haven't experienced yet.  It's just amazing how everything seems to cost so much, something I think many of us don't think about until we are without income.

I miss small things like being able to just buy something when I need it, instead of anaylzing any purchase.  Now I feel I have to be so frugal, with Spring approaching that is depressing because I love gardening.  I always get so excited to go flower shopping but not sure that is going to happen this year.   I usually have all kinds of containers and hanging baskets but those things cost a fair amount of money so not sure about this season.

Here is good quote for today.

"He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much."

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Practice What

Practice what you preach.  How many of us actually do that though?

I was laying in bed at 8 am thinking about this.  Why you ask....well I'm one of those types that cannot sleep with the tv on, nor really any kind of noise.  Yes I may doze off but the tv causes me to have that toss and turn kind of sleep.  My boyfriend on the other hand can't seem to sleep good without the tv.

Which brings me to the point....my boyfriend is one of those people who doesn't practice what he preaches.  He tells me not to let the tv influence my sleep that it's all in my head, yet he lets it influence him....the second he can't sleep he has to turn on the tv, the moment he wakes up the tv must be on or he is laying in bed tossing and turning.

So essentially he is letting it get to him because as he would say it's all in his head.  Taking his own advice, he could easily go back to sleep if he would just not get so worked up about it not being on. 

He also loves to say that people with addictions or other such issues are mentally weak.  That the strong can stop whenever they want.  But this is the same guy who cannot give up smoking, no matter how many times he has tried.  So his smoking habit would be considered an addiction, and so by his standards would that not make him mentally weak? 

Oh no....he says he likes to smoke and that's why he can't give it up.  But don't all people with addictions enjoy what they do? 

So as he woke me up with the tv at 8 am this morning, and then so nonchantly fell back asleep I started wondering...how many of us actually practice what we preach?

Think about it....we dole out advice to those around us but do we actually take our own advice?  Do we live by the standards we expect others to?  

And yes the tv is on and he is still sleeping.  ; )

Thursday, March 11, 2010

What To Eat

I imagine I'm not the only one that has this dilemma, but pretty much everyday I find myself in the kitchen pondering what to have for dinner.  Recently I purchased a few cookbooks that were simply fabulous.  We have tested out more than a few and loved just about everyone of them.

The thing with trying to come up with what to cook is that there are many factors that seem to go into a meal.  The largest being what is everyone in the mood for, two do we have the ingredients readily available, and three how long will the recipe take to make. 

Oh and our little household has very sensitive stomachs, even the dog, so it's always a challenge finding food that will agree with everyone. 

I'd like to be able to plan my meals in advance, like so often you see in magazines.  You know the Family Circle type of magazines where they give you a whole months schedule of meals for each day.  It sounds like a perfect idea, but in the real world it's nearly impossible to plan one meal in advance let alone a whole month's worth.

Cooking is something I really enjoy, though I hate the cleanup.  We used to have a great system where whoever cooked, the other person had to clean up.  That seems to have fallen by the wayside as I seem to do more of both....the cooking and the dishes.  Which makes cooking less appealing and so instead of making creative meals like I prefer I just end up making the ones easiest to clean up.

Anyway,  if anyone is looking for great cookbooks, with easy to make meals that don't require a lot of ingredients you should check out "Six Ingredients or Less" cookbook series by "Carlean Johnson".  I have the Pasta & Casseroles and Slow Cooker editions which are great.  I have been trying to find the Chicken one but so far it's been unavailable at the bookstores I've shopped.

Tonight for dinner....it's pasta and breadcrumbbs with garlic chicken, and string beans.  Bon Appetit!


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Beach

Daydreaming would have to be the theme for today.  This time last year we were lounging on the beach in Barbados.  And I cannot possibly put into words how much I am missing it this year.  It is the one thing I look forward to all year. (being laid off when I was sucks because not only did it affect my holidays but also our vacation) 

As I've wrote in previous blogs I love the beach, and our once a year vacations to the beach help to sustain me through the year.  But this year with no beach vacation on the agenda any time soon I'm definitely beginning to feel a little down.  It's moments like these I really miss living in San Diego.  Being able to go to the beach anytime I so desired was simply amazing.

Right now I would go anywhere warm, that has a beach.  All I want to do is sit on the beach, search for shells, and feel the warmth of the sun. 

In fact, I've been entering Regis and Kelly's daily contest just in the hopes of winning a beach vacation. 

And if I can't go to the beach, then I wish I at least had a house with a nice size backyard.  A yard that I could create my own beach oasis.  ; )

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Inspiration - Pass It Forward

Today I'm passing it forward it my blog, as a few other bloggers I know created it a pass it forward inspiration blogs.  It's simple we share what inspires us.

My dog.  She came into my life during a difficult patch of life and she inspired my whole world in ways that are hard to describe through words.  Let's just say she gave meaning to life.




The beach/ocean.  The one place that not only inspires me but relaxes me.  I can sit a whole day on the beach just listening to the sounds of the waves, and feeling the warmth of the sun.  Its one of those places I miss everyday, one of my dreams has always been to own a beach front house.  The magical feel of the beach....between the waves, the beautiful shells, the sea creatures, and sand dunes.


Love.  The thought of true love, soulmates, and lifetimes together.  The idea of people creating enduring love relationships inspires me.  Too often we hear such negative stories about love, but those ones that endure over time, that have love and truth at the core those inspire and give hope.  Life is essentially all about learning to love.


Flowers. The beauty that develops out of one little seed is a miracle in itself.



Those are a few of the things that inspire me in life.  I would love to hear what inspires you!





Monday, March 8, 2010

Monday Musings

Yep it's Monday already, although upon first waking I did think it was Sunday at first.  I'm telling you when you don't have a set work schedule there isn't the typical contrast between weekdays and weekends.  You know....the dreaded "oh no Monday is here feeling". 

The weather was beautiful here in Philadelphia today.  Anytime we have temps in the 60's this early in March is cause for celebration.  Funny that is the one feeling that is hard to describe to people who have never lived in climates with true seasons.  There is such a difference each season in the way the air smells, the sun feels, and the overall whole atmosphere.  Spring and Summer bring such jubilation, where as Fall and Winter there is more a sense of hibernation.

I'm still recovering from this cold, which seemed to consume much of the weekend.   Colds suck because they just wreck havoc on sleep. 

Yesterday was so nice we decided to hit the range but it was so packed (we are taking waiting lines just to get a spot) that we played mini golf instead.  Mini golf is just as much fun, plus it adds a little competitiveness too.  Oh yes mini golf gets very competitive between us.  We basically create wagers  for just about all our adventures, my man can't resist a bet.

Honesty, it felt great to be outdoors.   That is one of the reasons I really want a house....to have a private backyard to spend time outdoors in.  Although I felt very tired when we got home because I'm still dealing with this cold.

Weather forecast is looking nice for beginning of week then they are saying rain is suppose to move in, Big East Tournament starts mid week, and still waiting to hear when we will be getting a new washer.  Our wash is starting to overflow. 

Anyway....hope your Monday is a good one.  Think positive only 4 more days until the weekend!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Cold Part 2

Well I got about 4 hours sleep last night, considering I have a Villanova basketball game at 12, I'm not exactly happy with the lack of sleep.   We have season tickets and this is the last home game soooooo......I tried to go to bed early but colds are an odd thing.  As tired as they make you feel it's just impossible to sleep feeling so congested, not to mention the scratchy throat.

I'm rather disappointed because I was trying to go the whole year without one but that's not happening now.  The hardest part of colds for me is not being able to take anything.  I cannot take cold medicines, nor decongestants or anything of that nature.  So basically when I get a cold I have to suffer through all the symptoms with only vicks vapor rub and some saline drops.

On days like this I could really use a little extra tlc., hint hint boyfriend.  Breakfast in bed?  Flowers?  Anything.....

Update: And the cold is not the worst part of the day.  The washer broke in the process of washing.  So all my lovely sweaters now have to be hand emptied out of washer, rinsed because they are covered in suds, and then hand wrug.  Not to mention the piles of wash that still need to be washed.  I'm too annoyed to even describe in words just really didn't need the washer to break today.

Friday, March 5, 2010

The Cold

Oh no....I think I got the dreaded cold that has been circulating amongst those I know.  Which is ironic because this is the first cold of the season and it would come in March?   I expect these things in the midst of winter but not as Spring is approaching. 

At first I thought the feeling might be due to the fact that my guy likes to sleep with the window wide open lately, hence maybe the cold air was giving me that feeling.  But today I'm starting to realize that it is an actual cold.  A doozy of one I might add because I don't remember the last time I felt this congested.   In fact, it's making me feel a little cranky and like I just want to hide under the covers all day.  Know what I mean?

Sometimes colds, and well hormones in us females, leave us feeling just out of sorts like nothing we do will make us feel pretty or nice that particular day.  And this congestion has left me with that feeling. 

These are the days you wish you were a little kid again, and that your mom would bring you chicken soup in bed.   Since that is not going to happen I believe I better get my butt to the drugstore to try and find some natural remedies to help me out a little, and another box of tissues would be great about now too.

Anyone have any suggestions on the best home remedies for a cold?  Or an easy chicken soup recipe? 

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

You

"Accept that you are enough. You don't need to be anything that you are not ."

I think life requires that people learn to accept themselves and others for who they are.  Cherish the little differences in people, in yourself.  Those unique things that make others and us who they are.  People are in our lives to help open our minds and hearts.  To help teach us new things and to help us learn new ways of thinking, living, loving, and just being. 

Sometimes we focus on the differences, or the negatives, instead of learning to open our minds to just accept and cherish people for who they are.  Life is also about compromise, so we need to try to be true to ourselves yet keep in mind the happiness of those we love too.

People are like snowflakes, each of us unique but still have the ability to blend to create unity when needed.

See some positive thoughts for today!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Monday Musings

Wow....I cannot believe it is already March.  I definitely notice a difference during this time I'm laid off compared to time spent working.  Mainly while working time seemed to move so slow, I remember co workers wondering why it was only 11, when it felt like 5..  Yet when your home, time seems to move much quicker before you know it evening has arrived! 

So today I read a comment from a girl we know who exclaimed "how happy she was to have the life she has with her husband" basically how happy she was to be married.   That comment got me thinking...just reading that made me feel happy to know that someone else was so happy to be with who they are and have the life together they have.  I realize that I need to write more positive blogs!

Not sure I can put into words how I've felt lately....there's no one word really.  It's a combination of feeling judged, feeling like I have to watch what I say, hating cell phones, and just feeling a little taken for granted. 

We just saw a movie in the theater for the first time in our over three year relationship.  It came about because I planned it, and I'm just wishing he would suggest and plan more things for us to do together.

Also, he is this person who likes space where I'm the type of person that can be around him and others without getting tired of their company.  I don't even think about it...I just enjoy spending time together so I do it, but he seems to analyze it more.

I guess up to this point the other people I've dated in my lifetime I've always just spent time together without thinking about the amount.  Basically spent my time with the people who I wanted to be with and who made me happy.  But something as simple as suggesting we workout together can set my man into a space lecture, something I'm just not familar with nor understand. 

I've just always been surrounded by couples who spend a lot of time together it's what I know.

And part of me does feel jealous about the gym.  I mean it's a social place.  Guess I just don't understand why he would not want to work out together, like so many couples do these days.  So I start wondering why, and make all kinds of assumptions that he doesn't like.
So I guess I still have a lot to learn about love and relationships. haha

Anyway....this Monday I'm realizing there is still a lot to learn on this adventure we call life.  That we can't expect people to be mirror images of ourselves.  That peoples differences may actually be blessings in that they help us grow as souls, and to see other sides of life. 

My goal is to be more positive, to try to look at the positive not focus on the negative.  To focus on my dreams, desires, and know that eventually if I work hard enough, try hard enough they can become a reality.  I want to write happier blogs after reading that happy comment earlier.

So maybe one day I will own a company with my mate, and maybe one day I will get that cottage house with the little backyard I so dream of.  And maybe, just maybe I will show my man now that time together is more fun than time apart.  Ahhhh....Mondays aren't they grande!
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