Sunday, February 28, 2010

Make Good Feelings

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Does anyone ever stop to think about how their actions or behaviors make the people in their lives feel?

How a small gesture like spending quality time together, planning something fun, sharing a laugh, saying I love you, or whatever other ways people show they care....can make another feel so special and loved. 

The moments in life that mean the most are when we give our complete attention, our complete selves to another.  Why is it so many of us get caught up in our own worlds, own needs, that we forget whats truly important? 

Even simple little things like turning over to give your partner a kiss in the morning , or extra snuggle before you get up, can mean the world of difference.

Today lets turn off our cell phones, computers, tvs, give up our individual pursuits and activites and create a day that is shared with the people we love, doing fun things that everyone enjoys, with no outside distractions.  Make time, make love, make great memories!

Friday, February 26, 2010

Feel Alittle Down...Wishing For Sun

Since getting laid off I've felt really stressed, and that stress has turned into a rather down feeling.  I think it's a little combination of everything.  This time last year we were planning for our up coming trip to Barbados.  Which we would have been taking again this year had it not been for both of us getting laid off.  I seriously looked forward to that trip all year and now the realization that we won't be going is hitting hard. 

I really cannot explain how excited and happy I was all year thinking we would be going back to what we call paradise. 

I'm a beach, sun lover.  One of those people who almost needs the sun/warm weather to feel happy and relaxed.  Everyday I think about the beach and miss living in a beach town like I did in San Diego.  So this time of year can be especially hard after enduring a few winter months with little sun, and cold weather.

What compounds the feeling boyfriend is planning a trip to see his father in Florida, and I feel even more down to have not even be invited.   He wants to spend a few days with his dad, which is understandable they don't see each other much. 

But in the situation we are right would have just been nice to been thought of, especially now because it's not easy.  Plus, I feel I do a lot around our place...a little vacation would have just been nice.  He knows how much I love the beach, so I was just really hoping to go too.

Oh well I have to think positive I'm sure there is a job out there waiting for me, something I love, and something that will allow me to buy a house.  And take that trip to Barbados. 

There are many people with it worse off and I have to remember that.  It's just today I am feeling a little sorry for myself that's all.  ; )

(dreaming about sunny beaches and ocean waves)

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Snow Day

I have to laugh at the forecast today, for two days leading up to this storm they warned us here in Philadelphia of a snowicane.  Heavy winds, snow which would amount to a snowicane.  Predicting conditions that would knock power out in many areas.

Well today has come and gone, yes it snowed but never really stuck to the ground. The winds have yet to amoung to anything but more than a breeze.  And the predictions of 12-18 inches of snow have come down to 3-6. Everything basically closed and snow emergencies were declared for nothing.

I have to admit the hype leading up to a storm can get everyone excited only to disappoint many when this snowicane they have been hyping all week doesn't happen.

There are definite advantages to being a weather forecaster.  The main one being you can be completely wrong about a forecast but yet always keep your job!

So Disappointed

So last night we went to the Villanova basketball game, I've always been a huge college basketball fan and it's always a good time.   The atmosphere was awesome! 

But last night was very disappointing for me because my boyfriend decided to smoke. 

As of January 2010 he made a promise to himself to quit smoking, he's made it before but never succeeded.  This time I really believed was different, he seemed serious about quitting, and to be doing so well.  He threw out all this cigarettes so he would not be tempted.   I suspected he had started smoking morning butts two weeks ago, when he reeked of smoked but I gave him the benefit of the doubt hoping it was a one time thing. 

To give up his smoking in the morning habit....he has to give up his morning coffee because to him they go hand in hand.   Everything you read about quitting says habits have to be replaced with new ones....but he falls right back into his smoking habits. 

I cannot describe the feeling of disappointed I have this morning.  It's the same cycle all over again.  He quits for a few weeks, starts smoking one in the morning, then slowly progresses to his old habit.  I've offered to buy the patch for him, offered to help him find a good quitting program, but nothing.  

Which makes me feel he's not truly interested in quitting or helping himself.  He can barely walk do to his back condition and everything you read the first thing they say is....stop smoking. 

When my dad made up his mind to quit he tried every product and tool on the market until he found one that worked.  He has been smoke free for over 30+ years, it wasn't easy at all but he persisted because he knew how important it was to not only him but his family's health.

To quote one of my mans friends "smoking is nasty".  When a smoker sleeps a smoke smell comes out their nostrils, not to mention their clothes, hair, and cars reek of smoke, and overall in this situation with his denegerated disc problem smoking is the worst thing he could do.  Even my mans prized BMW has a smoke smell that no car fresher can get rid of.

I really cannot put into words how happy and excited I felt about him quitting.  And those happy emotions were so quickly squashed  last night when he had two cigarettes.  Here we go again....

I hate tobacco companies for being able to continue producing a product that is a known carcinogenic!  It makes no sense why they are allowed to continue making a product that is harmful, when other products on the market get pulled because of their dangers.

Anti smoking campaigns are great but how do we help the people who already smoke?

 (this is what I want to do everytime he pulls out a cigarette....crush them)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Random Kindess

Take just a minute out of this busy day to practice random kindness....
Call someone out of the blue to let them know you care.
Pay the toll for the car behind you.
Donate money to a charity,
or better yet give your a attention to a dog in a shelter who needs love.
Give flowers to someone you love,
Smile at the strangers on your path today,
If there are people in your life who mean the world to you....tell them.
Remember to just respect, honor, and treat everyone with kindess.
Pass it will spread!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Monday Musings

Well this Monday morning I am up very early, it was basically one of those toss and turn nights where not a lot of sleep was had.   Maybe it's the fact that I'm still salty about this whole mattress deal, or lack of mattress that was promised over a year ago.   Sleeping in a comfy, nice bed makes a huge difference.

Two years before I met my boyfriend, I bought a whole new was great, really comfy and I loved it a lot!  But it is a full, so when we moved in together I had to leave it at my family's house because it was too small.  Little did I know his mattress did not have a box frame, and that the IKEA bed frame we got for it would collaspe as it has.

Anyway....on to the weekend.  His sister and her boyfriend came to visit. It was very nice of them, they drove all the way from Long Island just for the day.  His sister wanted him to meet this new special man in her life who has become a very important fixture.  They just hung at our place because that is what my man said they wanted to do.

Unfortunately, his sister got rather upset because she felt he was spending more time on his laptop and blackberry than with them.  My man runs a sports website which takes up a lot of time on weekends....they got here at 2:30 and her thought was he had plenty of time to work on it earlier, why could he not give it up just one day, for the time they were here.  I thought she was really going to flip when he used his blackberry at the dinner table!  (if he could have only seen their faces)

This is where I get weary somedays because it's not the first time someone has commented about it, or that they feel it's inappropriate.  And when people mention it to me, do I tell him?  Even one of his close friends made a comment at a wedding a few months ago, wondering if my man ever puts his phone down. 

I try to remain objective but there have been many occasion where I to have mentioned to him about leaving the blackberry at home or simply take a hiatus from it while out doing something.  He types away at family dinners, weddings, sporting events, work meetings, and doesn't understand how it can make others around him feel uncomfortable, or even understand that sometimes it isn't appropriate. 
After his sister said something, I mentioned it to him and he gave her the attention she was looking for.  Which made her very happy, because it meant the world to her that he meet this new boyfriend of hers and that he get to know him.

Which brings me to wondering.... just how many people have become obsessed with technology to the point their actual social interactions with others have become non existent, or could be considered inappropriate?  Have we become a world so dependent on texting that we forget how to have actual real conversations?  Or forget how to enjoy our surroundings?  Better yet have we become so dependent on our computers that we can't live without them for a day? 

This Monday morning I'm just wondering if we are better off with or without all this electronic technology?  Thoughts.....

And yes folks he even texts while driving.  Yes it's dangerous, yes I worry,  but to say anything to him only gets me a lecture back on how he can drive better texting then I can normally.  Uh huh....really folks.

Saturday, February 20, 2010


Do you ever wonder what your dreams mean?

I have some dreams that seem to repeat themselves rather often.  They usually involve being near the ocean, and finding beautiful or unusual shells.  There are also the ocean dreams of huge waves which can be scary at times but usually in the dreams I'm watching in awe because I cannot believe the power or enornmity of the wave. 

Somedays I wonder what they mean, if they mean anything at all.

I know I've always been drawn to the beach.  I used to live in San Diego, and worked in La Jolla where I was only a few blocks away from the beach.  Usually during lunch or after work I would spend my free time either sitting taking in the ocean or walking along the beach.  Even while living there I always thought to myself "I can't believe I'm living and working this close to the beach".  Being able to relax on the beach or take in the beautiful sunsets of the west coast was so amazing.

Back to dreams....what do you think they mean?  do you have a reoccuring theme or subject to your dreams?   If you do how does it make you feel? 

Thursday, February 18, 2010


So I had my fourth teeth quadrant completed today.  This one is definitely painful.  Chose no novacaine or numbing agents again and it is an interesting feeling.   This is what I get for not having gone to the dentist in over 15 years....honestly my gums were a mess.  No one could really tell but trust me I could.

In the procedures I've had done they basically do a deep cleaning, scraping, and scaling of your gums...but because it takes awhile and does leave a lot of soreness they can only do a quadrant at a time.  And I have a serious program I now have to do at least twice a day but I can already see a difference wow! 

And I'd like to add I'm working on only 3 hours of sleep due to a very long night of noise.  But that's another topic of discussion for a different day.

But this mouth soreness brings me to thinking....I'm one of those people that has some foods I cannot eat like chocolate and egg.   So I was wondering if anyone out there might know of a good dessert that is soft, moist and doesn't contain egg or chocolate.  Whether it be a baked dessert or frozen dessert.  Any ideas?

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Gas Can Ownership

Okay so yesterday my man goes out for coffee, comes back stinking of gas for which he can't really smell.  He says he tried to get gas but his gas tank cap would not turn.  Really didn't think much of it until.....we go to go grocery shopping.  I get in the car and it stinks of gas.  I mean it was overwhelming the car.  So we are pondering what could be causing the strong odor.

Fast forward we come out of the market, go to load the groceries in the trunk, and he exclaims what is this doing in the trunk.  A large red, plastic gas can was wrapped up in plastic bags sitting in the corner of the trunk. this is what was causing the odor.  But what the heck is it doing there????

His trunk is broke so it doesn't lock so someone could have put it in there, but still who would think to open the trunk of a stranger and put their gas can in it?  And better yet who would think to do that at a Starbucks when the place is made of all glass and anyone could be watching.

So my boyfriend doesn't seem at all fazed that unbeknowst to him a gas container is sitting in his trunk.  And he got fired up by me asking questions....well any normal person would.....that is your car and someone just opened it and stuck a gas container in it. 

He said most people wouldn't care and wouldn't ask questions.  Seriously?  Maybe I'm just overly inquistive then but I like to know details.

Not him.... he just acted like it wasn't unusal or strange at all.  Even though his car now stinks of gas.  Oh and his gas meter is reading empty in his car.  Go figure.  Just another oddity that sometimes makes me think I could write a great female Seinfeld type of show.

Sunday, February 14, 2010


My Valentine's was exactly the kind of day the holiday is meant to represent.  Filled with family I love. 

Nothing is better then the whole family getting together.  My neice makes every holiday extra special now.  And my boyfriend trys very hard to think of thoughtful gifts which means a lot to me, because as I always say it's not the amount of money spent on a gift what matters is the heart and thought put into it. 

My man got me beautiful colored roses, and a little spa treatment for my feet which because I'm a flip flop wearer need serious help.  My neice made me a heart with her hand prints on it.  And my mother got us all gift cards to wawa.  Which was really nice and something that surprised us all. 

Hope everything had a nice Valentine's and got to spend it with people who mean the world to them.  If not I hope you at least did something special for yourself. 

And remember everyday should be Valentine's Day.  We should all make a conscience effort to let the people we care about know how much they mean to us. 

Thanks for reading.... love you all!   

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Cupcakes and Love

Today I am baking cupcakes....not any old cupcakes I might add but Valentine ones which means they are baked with extra love.  There are two little ones I simply dog and my niece.  So this Valentine's I wanted them to have a special yummy desserts to eat.  Anyone that knows me well knows my dog is my baby.  ; )  And because of severe allergies she already eats home cooked food.

So I  made these completely from scratch with a homemade butter cream icing to top.   Then decorated them with all sorts of hearts and other colors that tend to go along with the holiday. 

That's what the Valentine's day holiday is all's not about who spends the most or fancy restaurants it's about doing things from the heart for those we love.  I'd much rather hand picked flowers than bouqets that cost a fortune.  I'd rather a homecooked meal made from scratch by the one I love than some overpriced restaurant meal.

This Valentine's holiday is you want to really do something special for the people you love give them gifts from the heart, gifts that require you to put your heart and soul into it.  Write a poem.  Cook dinner.  Give a massage or make love.  Bake a yummy dessert.  Create a collage of pictures.  Whatever you do give it some though because those are the gifts that mean the most.

Thursday, February 11, 2010


Today we are trying to dig out from all this snow, although it is amazing to see these crazy amounts of snow piled everywhere it definitely makes getting around difficult.  There is no where to really put all the snow so it tends to block streets, driveways, parking lots, and makes for some intense driving.

I decide to bake some blondie brownies this afternoon which came out really good.  Got the recipe from the Nestle website.  I enjoy cooking and trying new recipes, although I could do without all the cleaning up. Sometimes I wish my man would help a little more with would be nice if when I cook he does the dishes.  Or would take turns cleaning the bathroom which is my least favorite job. is one of those days I feel a little unappreciated.  Do ever feel that way?

I just want to snuggle up with my man, have a little kissing session and feel love but he's got his own things to worry about...his back problem, finding a job, working on his website, etc., that those things I just mentioned aren't probably on his list of priorities.  But gosh would it mean the world to me. 

With Valentine's Day quickly approaching I was hoping he might have planned something special for the two of us but with all he's got going on I probably should not get my expectations up.  Don't laugh but Valentine's Day is one of my favorite holidays.  I just love the fact that love and romance have a day where they are honored.  And yes I love the little romantic gestures and gifts that go along with the day.

Maybe if the world treated everyday like Valentine's Day there would be less divorce, strong relationships, and more love to make the world go round.

Ahhhh....have I mentioned I'm quite the dreamer. 

Ok I'm going to eat some blondies!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


Blizzard conditions....just about everything was shut down in Philly today.  Officially it is the most snowy winter season the city and surrounding suburbs have ever had. 

So I frolicked a little in the snow, and decided to do a jigsaw puzzle.  Fun!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


So a little updates on my previous posting...just completed my 3rd dental procedure, if you remember I was told there would be 6 to actually treat what needed to be treated.  The first I tried local numbing but the sensation so freaked me out I opted to have the next two done with nothing.  Yeah I know even writing that sounds crazy but that is what I did.  It was a little painful but to be honest the pain distracted me from all the anxiety I was feeling about being at the dentist. 

A word to the wise to anyone who has dental phobie like myself....don't avoid dental cleanings as tartar, plague, well that all builds up to the point it can destroy your gums without regular cleanings.  Which in return causes worse procedures to have to be done than just cleaning.  I waited 15 years.  You can only imagine what had to be scrapped off.  Anyway there is still more to do and I'm praying I stay calm!  

Still haven't gotten a new mattress and boy is it taking a toll on our backs and necks.  As I right this I can barely turn my shoulder.  Oh and the boyfriend went to the doctor his pain in his back/leg could be a hernaited disc and the doctor said to avoid exercise.  Um I think I suggested that my years as a trainer gave me some experience enough to know exercise would have made it even worse than it already is.  People with neck and back issues especially dengerating discs have to be very careful when exercising I don't know if it can get any worse for him right now....he is in such pain he can barely stand and feels so bad affection is even out of the question. What?  Yeah you heard it here. 

You know what would really help....a new mattress.  ; ) 

On that's time to get some supplies as the weather forecast is for yet another Nor'easter.  Being laid off has one advantage we don't have to worry about having to drive in the snow.  Please everyone clean off your cars before driving, and even if you have a suv drive slow! 

Monday, February 8, 2010

Monday Musings

What a weekend....waking up this Monday morning I thought to myself did the Saints really win the Super Bowl?   Not that I'm a Saints fan but since my team didn't make it I like to choose one team to get behind. 

I chose the Saints for two reasons 1. they were the underdog and Brees isn't one of those qb's who came out of college with a chip on his shoulder like some (for the most part he seems like a humble guy something we don't see much of in pro sports) 2. the Colts could have gone for the unbeaten record this season instead they chose to sit their best players to rest for the playoffs (who doesn't want to make history in sports by trying to go for the unbeaten title, very wimpy) 

It was really great to watch the Saints win and to watch their coach make a few ballsy plays.  I'm glad for the city of New Orleans after all they have been through they deserve it, and I'm glad Brees was the qb who got the Super Bowl title!

On another note....yes we officially got at least 24 inches of snow here.  Philadelphia and it's surrounding suburbs are still trying to dig out.   If you didn't have to go out it was fun to watch and it was fun to frolick in too.  Though my dog felt a little differently as it was too high for her, though she did get out there in her winter jacket and we carried her in our arms until we found a spot that had been plowed and we could all walk for a little. 

Trust me it's a lot of snow as some winters we have had only 12 inches all winter.  But what's winter on the east coast without a little snow.  Snow at least adds a little excitement to the dull, cloudy days of winter.

Even though most of us are thinking where did the weekend go....enjoy Monday.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

East Coast Blizzard

So far 20+ inches of snow and counting!   The snow is too deep for Angel we had to carry her until we found an area that she was able to navigate.

Friday, February 5, 2010

East Coast Bristling

Here on the east coast things are a bristling this morning.  In Philly are being bombarded with news we are about to receive a snowstorm.  I'm never quite trusting of weather forecasters as for the most part it seems like a 50/50 bet on if we actually get what they predict.  I was hoping the storm would hold off until Sunday but in fact it seems to be coming later today.

I have to admit snowstorms like this can be fun, as long as one has no place to go.  When I lived in San Diego I didn't think I would miss such weather, but when you are from the East Coast  after awhile you actually do tend to miss the change of seasons.  The snow, the thunderstorms, the differences of each season and the smell the air gets.  While I lived in San Diego we barely had rain, let alone a thunderstorm.  Although, I must admit the abundant sunny days and warm temperatures were real nice.

Anyway....we'll see how accurate the weather people are today and just how much snow we actually get. 

While everyone else is panicking and heading to the supermarkets I think I'm going to take in a movie.  Don't laugh but I haven't been to a movie theater in probably 7 years.  I'm more of the stay at home rent a movie type but I hear Avatar is a movie that must be seen on a 3 D screen.  Has anyone seen it?   If so what did you think of the movie?

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


Really is what I was muttering to myself last night after my man informs me he joined a gym.  A gym? 

Now normally it would not be a big deal, but you see now since his lay off he has no extra money to put towards things like that.  Especially since we have a treadmill, and enough Wii workout videos to get someone in shape quick.

We are in desperate need of a new mattress so any extra money should be going to save up for that. (we made a deal....I would buy the couch for the main room and he would a new bed)  Plus, he won money last year promising to buy a new mattress with it but that never happened so it's long overdue. A new mattress would help a lot with his back/neck issues.

You see this is the same guy who over a year ago was told by his doctor that he needed physical therapy for his back/neck problems, but he never went to therapy and still has a lot of pain. He needs the help of a trained physical therapist before he starts working out because with his neck/back condition working out could actually do more harm than good. (just playing golf can aggravate it to the point he can barely move).

So what makes him go and drop that kind of money on a gym when our household is in major recession times?  And he wonders why I would be a little upset? about discussing ideas like that first?   Or how about during this down economical time spending the money on stuff our house really needs.  He gets upset when I don't call stuff ours, so if stuff is shared then shouldn't decisions be shared too?

There in lies the problem lack of communication, which is something I always write about.  Key in life is good communication, talking and discussing goals, ideas, whatever it may helps keep people on the same page and lets people feel their opinions/thoughts matter. 

Yet again....I'm the one up worrying about money while he sleeps peacefully.

This bed would go great in our room.

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Monday, February 1, 2010

Monday Musings

Yes it's that favorite day for so many yet again...Monday. Honestly, how many people dread this day having to wake up after a relaxing weekend and go spend 8+ hours at work missing their family, kids, pets, and whom ever else. Just don't know who invented the five day work weekend but they must have been nuts. haha

So I've decided instead of cleaning the house every weekend which really does get exhausting when doing it all by yourself, I'm only going to do it every other weekend. I'm just going to have to learn how to deal with a little dust on the tv.

This weekend I made home made ginger bread cookies with icing. Guess I should give a shout out to the man as he is the one who found the icing recipe, and whipped it up. Always nice when you get a little help like that. They were quite yummy.

We had snow yet again on Saturday. So it was pretty much a stay at home kind of weekend. And I hear there is more snow in the forecast for next weekend.....we have pretty much surpased the snow totals from all of last year already.

Anyway....for those of you at work today hang in there, and for those of you umeployed at the moment like myself guess it's time to start searching the jobs boards for the week. Some days I'd like to be Paris Hilton, not ever have to worry about money, travel to wherever I want whenever I want. Seriously do people like that even realize how good they have it?

On that note I'm going to have a ginger bread cookie.

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