Monday, November 30, 2009

Monday Thoughts

Yes it's once again Monday and that means back to work. Weekends are just too nice why do they have to only be two days in length?

Why do we not get to spend the majority of our time here on earth with the people who really matter in our lives? Makes no sense.

I'm already counting the days until the weekend arrives. I really have to find a job that makes me happy, or that I can say I love because I just can't continue feeling this down about work. I'm sure there are many people out there who feel the same way and exactly why there are some days I think it's hard to find a job doing what one loves.

I did manage to hang the Christmas lights this weekend. Funny how Christmas lights can make everything feel a little more magical.

Was hoping my boyfriend might volunteer to help hang the lights but he was too busy working on the computer and when he did decide to step away from it he was surprised they were already up.

My dad just assumed my boyfriend put them up because my dad always was in charge of lights, but in my household I'm pretty much in charge of such duties. In fact, I even put together all the bedroom furniture but that's a story for a different day.

So who put's the holiday lights up in your household? And what kind of lights are your favorite?

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Friday, November 27, 2009

Turkey Day Letdown

There was so much excitement for me leading up the Thanksgiving because I could not wait to spend quality time with my neice, and now that it has come and gone I'm suffering from a feeling of complete letdown as I return to work.

Pulling into the parking lot of our corporate complex it appeared that most of the companies here have off today, except maybe us and one other company. Even the cafe in the building is closed. That's the way it should be just let people have the day after Thanksgiving off especially since it falls on a Friday. It costs more to heat, light and get everything up running for one day then it would to just let people have a day off. Anyway....I won't get started on that topic. haha

But yes I feel down today and wish that I could have spent more time with my neice and sister. Why is it we spend most of our days with people who mean nothing to us, and the people who really mean something to us are the ones we don't get to spend enough time with. A couples hours when we get home at night, or each holiday just isn't enough time with the ones we love. Makes no sense.

And on another note I cannot believe people get up at 4 am to shop on this day. The idea sounds great but to actually get out there and do it I just don't have that kind of shopper dedication. Maybe if I had off it would be different because I could come home and sleep, I'm not sure if even that would be motivation to shop or have to wait in line at that hour of the morning.

Anyway happy day after turkey day to everyone, and for all those people who did get up and shop this morning hope you had fun! And to those who have to work today I know it sucks but let's try to think happy thoughts....I'm going to put some Christmas music on at my desk hopefully that will put me in a brighter mood.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Giving thanks....

It's nice to have holidays where everything is closed and people get to actually spend time with family. More days like that are needed. Thanksgiving has always had a special feel to it. Families getting together, good food, and just an overall warm atmosphere.

My Thanksgiving was great because I got to spend it with those I love and for that I am grateful. I wish I got to spend more moments with my neice because spending time with her feels like hitting the lottery....she just makes me feel so happy.

I'm thankful for family because they mean everything and without them I would be lost. I'm thankful for my boyfriend, and for special dog too.

I have to admit I normally get very excited for holidays but with my boyfriend losing his job there's a sense of fear that is over riding the excitement of the holiday season. I'm scared that in this economic time he may not find another job right away and I worry the impact that will have.

I'm thankful this Thanksgiving that we have each other and that's all that truly counts but a small part of me was looking forward to Christmas which probably won't happen in our little household this year. I know sounds gay but I think we all get excited for Christmas it's something as a kid we learn that we never seem to outgrow. haha

Even with my job our money will be tight because right now there are some expenses that are consuming my income at the moment, and one of those is very important because my dog needs medical treatment for her eye which is costing a fortune. Penn Vet charges $125 just for eye drops! Yeah I know insane right?

That is the thing in life you never know when something will pop up that requires money beyond your budget, and I'm learning each day how important saving really is. But even then anyone of us could encounter financial emergencies along the way that leave us wondering how will we do it.

And I guess no matter how much we might complain about our jobs we should be thankful we at least have one. So this Thanksgiving I'm giving thanks for my job too, even though it will never be near important as my family, boyfriend or dog. ; )

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving.

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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Bleak Economy Hit Home

Well the bleak job market and economy has finally hit home, my boyfriend lost his job as of yesterday. I can't begin to describe the feeling it leaves one with, it's that feeling like you have been hit in the stomach. It's hard to even imagine what he is feeling but I know I feel bad for him, and I worry about the whole financial implications this will have on us.

To think that right before the holidays companies would do such a thing just makes me feel even worse. Do big corporations even realize how truly hard it is out in the real world?????

Last year my boyfriends company Lincoln Financial suspended bonuses for all employees, but then turned around and gave big bonuses to the top executives. Executives who already commanded huge salaries to start with. It comes as no surprise he lost his job as they haven't had much work to do for over a year now, and they have been laying off people pretty much the whole year.

But maybe the company would not have to let all these people go if they were more fiscally careful with how they spend their money. It was obvious the way they gave big bonuses to their top executives that they really didn't care for the little guys in the company. Then again there seems to be many a company like that out there just look at what AIG did with their government bail out money.

I believe that what you give is what you get. Part of these failing corporations problem is they are consumed with greed and selfishness. How do they expect to be successful when they don't treat their own employees right?

Anyway, back to us it's going to be real hard the next couple of months. When you hear the reports the job market appears bleak, and who knows how long it will take to obtain another job. I'm sure both our spirits will improve but right now the shock of losing his job definitely has put a damper on things.

I pray that somehow we make it through this bleak economic time, and that hopefully this is a blessing in disguise and will lead my boyfriend to an even better job. Let's hope.

p.s. and maybe the universe was trying to tell me something today because contained in an email I was sent was the following "Remember when you count all you are thankful for that often what seems less than ideal may be your most valuable blessing -- hidden in disguise."

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Friday, November 20, 2009

Honesty....Is A Lonely Word

As I get older honesty becomes one of those virtues I value more, I'm talking the kind of honesty you share with a friend or loved one....where no matter what, you can rely on that person to always be not only truthful but true to their word.

Honesty truly can be a lonely word though.

I wonder are others who value the importance of honesty. And do those who don't realize they only hurt themselves when they choose to keep the truth from others. There is no room to live an authentic life when one tells lies or hides the truth because they never open themselves completely to others. And in life to get those soul connections with others one needs to be able to be honest. It's the difference between being an acquaintance and being a true friend.

One person I look up to is my sister. She has never been one to hide from honesty. She tells you like it is, no matter if you want to hear it or not. She doesn't hold back and that's one of the many great things about her. You always know with her you get real honesty, and in return a feeling of total trust.

That isn't always the case with others. I've encountered quite a few who think it's ok to hide the truth, to tell a lie, they don't even seem to feel guilt or remorse, and why is that? How could anyone not feel a twinge of remorse for not being honest with another especially if that person is a good friend or loved one.

I wish more people could be like my sister, but I guess there are many people who for one reason or another can't or prefer not to open themselves completely to others, who hide behind lies for whatever various reasons they feel they need. It's sad, not only that, but as I tend to do....I want to help those people but how can you help people who can't even be real?

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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Do What You Love....

That is a saying Oprah is known for but how many of us really do what we love each day? How many of us can honestly say we can't wait to go to work each morning because we love the work we are doing? And how many of us have talents that go wasted and unused each day?

I think if we really took a poll the people who get to do what they love for a living are probably a small percentage of the population. Sometimes I find it depressing that so many people wake up with the thought "another day I have to go to work" "is the weekend here yet". Why can't more people find jobs they love, jobs that use their natural born abilities and talents?

Oprah makes it seem easy but in reality there are many who just don't have the option, opportunity, or even time to do what they really love. Guess I'm pondering why that is and how to go about creating a world in which everyone can love what they do.

I can think of a few hobbies I would love to be able to turn into a career. How do you figure out what you love to do? It's those things that when you are doing them you lose yourself in, that you find happiness or satisfaction while doing, it's often be said that people feel a type of zen state when doing things they love.

So today go do something you love, or that your good at. Find something a hobby, job, whatever it may be that makes you happy!

And if you feel like sharing I would love to hear what it is you do that makes you happy, or what you wish you could do for a job that would make you happy.

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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Niceness Returned

Wow what a surprise I got when I went home last night. Walked in to find dinner made, dim lighting, and the kitchen table set. We never eat at the kitchen table so it was a big deal, and sweet gesture!

Funny after expressing my thoughts on niceness yesterday, that this would be done for me was just what I needed. It's almost as if the universe sensed my doubts about niceness and gave me a little inspiration. It was nice because I was sorely doubting the whole concept of niceness yesterday.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that because I think it was very special and I feel much gratitude for the whole dinner and thought behind it. Really cannot express how much little things mean, how thinking about someone, and putting someone first somedays can just make all the difference.

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Monday, November 2, 2009

Thoughts On Niceness

Somedays I feel like being nice gets you no where. Does anyone appreciate niceness or recognize it?

There are honestly those moments when I think a line can be crossed between being too nice, and not sticking up for oneself.

Take for instance this morning....my landlord came over to do work on the house. None of the other apartments answered their door(none of them work), my boyfriend laid in bed, so I....who was up getting ready for work answered the door.

I had to listen to a lecture about all the stuff that needed to be done...like the couch that was sitting outside, suppose to be disposed of months ago by my man. Yes I know it needs to be trashed but lecture my bf its his responsbility. Besides, the guy upstairs has been keeping his hitch in the drive way, is he getting told to move it or getting fined if he doesn't? Does she realize how much work and responsibility I put into her place that I get no profit from.

Sometimes niceness does get taken for granted people don't appreciate it. Like this weekend....we carved pumpkin for my boyfriends little brother and it was I who ended up scrubbing the floor and kitchen of all the pumpkin stuff. (my man got to come home and hop in bed) That is besides cleaning the house this weekend, doing all the laundry which means running up and down basement stairs from 8-8 because the laundry machine only does small loads. Vacumming and cleaning was the last thing that I wanted to do. But I have a dog with severe allergies so things have to be kept clean.

In fact, I'm starting off Monday feeling sheerly exhausted. And sometimes I just feel that when your nice, when you do nice things, that they seem to go unappreciated. Almost like people take for granted you are there and you will just do them.

When does niceness just turn into being a doormat somedays. Am I suppose to just let people give me their word or make promises only to break it, and not be upset or say anything? Am I suppose to just put up with a landlord who takes forever to fix things but demands things be done asap when she finally decides to care? Am I suppose to just not say anything when my day tends to get cancelled often even though it means a lot to me? Know what I mean? One can be nice but they also should be able to express when they feel others aren't being nice.

I go out of my way to be nice to people, I make sure to treat others as I would want to be treated, but sometimes when I feel that niceness gets overlooked or crapped upon, well then yes I am going to speak up for myself or get upset. And I have the right to feel that way sometimes because I'm not going to be nice to someone who I feel disrespects me or isn't being nice to me.

I am a very simple person all I require is people be nice, compassionate, honest, be loyal, respect, and communicate openly. It's when people don't honor that, that then makes me feel my niceness is being taken for granted.

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