Wednesday, September 30, 2009

How Do We Really Help?

How do we really help? My degree is in psychology with a concentration in addictions/drug counseling and I tend to ponder that question a lot.

Drugs have always annoyed me for many reasons.... they change personalities, they destroy lives, they cause people to lie, steal, and partake in activities/behaviors they otherwise would not. Sometimes they destroy the core of who someone is and take over their lives. They put others in society at risk, for example when they drive under the influence. Not to mention all the kids being raised my parents who just pass along the problem.

Just never saw the appeal to it. So one feels good for a little, that's all it is and eventually one has to keep doing it to feel that way hence usually leading to some form of dependency. Besides why if someone is healthy would they want to risk putting their body through all that? Risk hurting themselves? I get annoyed if I have to take antibiotics or even tylenol because who wants that crap in the body unless they absolutely need it?

Something compelled me to want to help. As always found it interesting because drugs cross over into every class, every race, and every neighborhood there's no discrimination when it comes to who uses. And it's users all need the same kind of help.

I've had acquintances some close, some not, along the way through highschool until now that have had issues with alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, painkillers and even heroin. And I've tried hard to help the ones who asked for it, and even help the ones that didn't.

But the question always remains the same, and not just with drugs but with any addiction, how do we really help those who need it? Many of who don't want to be helped but who desperately need it. Maybe it starts with asking why first? Why did they start? What do they get from it that it's worth risking their lives and going in debt for? There are no concrete answers I suppose.

For example with drugs/ do you help people who try to hide or lie about their problems? Who cannnot own up to the drugs they take, the amount they take or drink, or the lies they tell to cover it all up? Or the people who don't believe or even realize they have a problem? I think for most families and loved ones the lies are just as worse as the problem. The people with the problems are so consumed by it they don't realize how apparant their lies, desperation, moods, and overall behavior are to those around them. How very hard they make it to get help for themselves and to let others help them.

So until people of this world figure out how to live life sober, this world needs to figure out how to really help? What is the answer?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


It appears they got my computer back up and running. They called last night to let me know it just needed a system restore and some RAM. Hopefully I will have time to pick it up today. Not exactly cheap to fix but better than having to get an entire new one. Yeah! Oh and I learned one important lesson make sure to back up all data and pictures to an external hard drive. Honestly I got lazy about it but now I realize just how important it is to do.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Ahhhh Computers

So my computer had a massive shutdown not sure what the problem is yet but it's why I haven't blogged lately. Work as been very busy and since my computer at home is currently under the weather it looks like I'm going to have to make time to write from here. Stay tuned.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Rain And The House

So we rent and that pretty much means we are at the hands of our landlord should there be a problem. As some know, there are landlords who are very hands on and others who are most definitely not. Ours is the former, and it's definitely been interesting when something needs to be fixed. The house still has no rain gutters which is a long story in itself.

Rain though is the worst because the basement floods, and they are well aware it floods but don't care to do anything about it. Yeah you heard right. So when it floods the water just sits there until it evaporates, or seeps into the ground. The home is an older Victorian type....the basement just has the cement floor with old crumbly walls.

The inside of the house was completely remodeled with new everything it's very pretty, but the sad part is they never did anything to the outside or the basement. And the basement, with all the flooding is definitely not going to hold can see mold starting to form already.

So I guess I'm sitting here today thinking why would they not at least install a sump pump? Or take the time to put up gutters which would help move the water to the street? This house was owned by my landlords family so you think she would want to maintain it and keep it nice. The lack of pride some people have when it comes to taking care of houses and property is surprising.

Meanwhile, I'm starting to worry because this stagnant water laying in the basement and seeping through the house cannot be good. It is going to breed mold and who knows what else. Yes, we have definitely been looking for a new place but right now the market just isn't that great for what we are looking for or finding it in the area we want.

It's obvious she is going to do nothing. In fact, she acts as if water sitting in the basement is no big deal. Seriously. So what could be done in the meantime. Do we pour bleach on the stagnant water? How can we really prevent mold from forming without spending a lot of money?

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


"Greatness is not found in possessions, power, position, or prestige. It is discovered in goodness, humility, love, service and character."

What a great quote and something to remember as we all go about our day.

I believe we each are here to learn to be become better souls, that is what greatness is all about. To learn how to give and receive unconditional love, and to show kindness, compassion, patience and understanding toward ourselves, others and life.

All to often we believe greatness is found outside ourselves or that it's related to the degree one holds, job position, or material things one owns. But greatness comes from within, it's who you are as a person.

We are all capable of doing something great today. It doesn't have to be something big it could be something as simple as holding the door for someone that needs it. It's kind words and actions, they inspire and create greatness!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

"I Love You"

I love you....they are three simple words yet hold enornmous power.

Just read an article about how taken for granted those words can be.

Often times people assume their loved ones know how they feel, so they feel no urgency or need to express the feeling on a frequent basis. Some just have a hard time expressing those type of emotions. And others just get lazy when it comes to saying it.

But love like anything else needs to be nurtured between friends, family, siblings, partners, etc., finding a way to express it is important.

Personally speaking I know I have been guitly of not saying the word often enough but I've made a conscious effort to change that because I want the people in my life to know how important they are to me.

Truth is we should always remember to be grateful for the things we have and the people we love. Each and every day we should take a moment to remind our loved ones how much they mean to us and how much we truly love them. No one knows what tomorrow holds, why not tell the people in ones life how much they mean.

I love you should be as frequent as good morning and good night. Besides the world could use more love....I love you readers for taking the time to read my blog!


Tuesday, September 1, 2009


I'm a true romantic through and through. In fact, probably what they call an old school romantic. And I've heard people say that romance has become a lost art. To hear that saddens me as I feel romance is an important aspect of life it brings a little magic to each of our lives.

Romance isn't something that can be truly defined because it's about making someone feel loved and appreciated. Ultimately romance is incredibly personal. Different things are going to make different people feel loved. Maybe that is why romance has become a lost art because people get too caught up in Hollywood's definition of romance instead of creating their own.

It also means putting side what one considers romantic and considering what their partner finds romantic, and then finding a way to bring both partners romantic ideas together so both feel loved. And lets not forget romance can be created for anyone, including oneself because it's really just an expression of love. And that is why it should never become a lost art because expressing love is what keeps relationships of all kinds strong, happy, and nurtured.

Personally speaking romance to me is candles, flowers, cards or little notes, kisses, cuddling, slow dancing, making love, gentle rubs, breakfast in bed, walks while holding hands, watching sunsets, cooking together, and other simple little gestures.

And if you are reading this think about what romance means to you? And create a little romance today. Or go do something romantic for the one you love. Big or small it doesn't matter, what matters most is that it comes from the heart.

And if so inclined share your romantic ideas here, or drop me a note as I'd love to hear your thoughts on what romance means to you.

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