Wednesday, August 12, 2009

For saking all others....

"And forsaking all others, be faithful only to him/her so long as you both shall live?" Those are the words in the standard wedding vow but what happened to upholding those vows? And not only in marriage but when one gives their love to another in any committed relationship....what happened to being faithful?

I ponder these questions and more because once again in the news another well known person was exposed as a cheater. Pitino coach of Louisville was caught not only cheating but in an extortion scandal.

So the question becomes....is it really that hard to keep ones private parts inside their underwear and privately reserved for the individual they are in a relationship with?

I understand most people have urges, even those that won't admit it, and that there will be temptation at times but the whole point of being married or in a relationship is to have the strength to control those urges out of love and respect for the other. Many people because they so deeply love another don't give it much thought to begin with. If you truly love someone why would you want to be with someone else.

We've all heard the many excuses of people needing variety, not getting enough at home, madonna/whore complexes,etc., ok fine so work those issues out in therapy or talk to your partner and find a way that both people get their needs met openly and honestly. Or maybe avoid the situations that are known weaknesses, but don't hurt the ones you love and bring such disgrace on your own character and innocent families.

Maybe the deeper issue is the lack of communication within relationships? How often do couples talk about their needs openly and honestly with each other. How often do couples listen to what their mates try to tell them, or really take an interest in what makes their mates happy. There are a lot of couples who have different views, needs, etc., maybe the key is finding ways to compromise so both individuals remain content, happy, and grow stronger together. Think about it people spend much of their time working, and many people like Pitino spend too much time away from home. Most relationships just aren't given the time, communication, or nurturing that allows them to grow strong and be sustainable.

Back to the point, I'm just tired of hearing about these people who cannot respect and be faithful to those they made promises to. It's disheartening to know we have such selfish, and maybe weak, individuals in our society. It sounds harsh but how should an individual who breaks vows and hurts those they love be described?

And how as our society do we make marriages and relationships stronger in an age where values such as honesty, loyalty, and faithfulness seem lost. When will people take serious the promises and vows they make to others? What happened to forsaking all others for love?

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