Thursday, December 31, 2009

Snowy Morning and Chilvary

So here in Philadelphia we awoke to find it snowing which made for an interesting morning commute. Oh was it fun clearing off the car and steps.

Which makes me wonder what happened to chivalry? Without any prompting my grandfather and father would never let a woman do it all herself. They both would go outside on snowy days clean the car off, shovel, and whatever else needed to be done even if it meant waking up way before they had to.

I admit I'm old school I believe in chivalry. I just don't understand what seems to be this new generation of men. Maybe it was the way I was raised but I saw both my father and grandfather work very hard to support their families and to do everything they could to make life easier for their woman.

Especially now in this world we live in we need more men to step up and take responsibility, to help more. Woman have to work 40 hour work weeks just like men now. Yet it seems still all the house work, cooking, laundry, etc still falls on the woman.

In my opinion, it feels our society has lost the chivalrous ways of past generation. And on this snowy day a touch of chivalry would be nice.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Monday Musings

Wish this Monday I was overflowing with positive thoughts but for some reason I seem to be stuck in a funk. After finding out last week that I would be laid off come January, I experience more disappointing news over the weekend. This news more on a personal level which I won't delve into but I will say my heart feels sad. I feel overwhelmed by the feeling at the moment. It really hurts when you think you know someone,then come to find out what you thought to be true in reality was a little different than you believed.

So on this Monday I'm wondering why in this society we feel it's okay to keep things from the very people we say we love. What makes people feel it's okay to be dishonest, or hide parts of themselves, their lives, etc.. And we all have been touched by what I'm talking about in some form or another. Lately one can't even turn on the news without hearing about some celebrities lies and despicable ways broadcast for all to hear.

I just wish we could create a world in which those we love....we would always be honest with. The world would be such a better place if there were no secrets, if each of us could live in truth. The truth will essentially set our souls free because it allows people to love us for who we are which includes the good and bad.

Telling someone everything about yourself, your flaws, your weaknesses, your habits good or bad allows someone to decide if they can love you for who you truly are. When people hide anything from the ones they love, they hide themselves, they don't allow their souls to fully open up and be fully, truly, and honestly loved.

Anyway this Monday I just feel disappointed in the morals, in the values, ethics, and in the attitudes of so many in our society.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

East Coast Snowstorm

In the Philadelphia area we got hit with 22 inches of snow which the weather people say hasn't happened in over 100 year in December here. Some photos of what it looked like from where I live.



Thursday, December 17, 2009

It's Really True

Wow, it's really true and not just some bad dream. I tried to sleep but the job news of yesterday made that near impossible.

Officially I have been up since 4 am, there was no way I could possible sleep after finding out I will be without a job come January. No words can describe how scary it is to know your income is about to be taken away. Unemployment will help to keep me eating but it won't pay all the monthly expenses that come with life.

My boyfriend seems to be handling his layoff much better. He is able to sleep, something I really haven't been able to do since he got laid off. I just keep going over and over in my mind how we are going to get the money we need to live without going in debt. I'm afraid to spend a dime now.

I guess everyone has different ways of dealing with such situations. For me I feel very scared and almost lost as to where to turn for financial advice and help.

I just can't believe it's really true. After hearing friends stories who have been out of work for quite some time due to layoffs I wonder how long it will take me to find a job, and better yet will I find a job I love?

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

'Tis The Season"

So tis the season to be jolly only this holiday season isn't turning out as I had hoped. Today I found out I will be losing my job come January due to economical reasons. Wow, so now I myself have become one of the many in this country without a job.

Scared is the feeling that most overwhelms me because with my boyfriend being laid off in December I worry how we are going to afford the bills and daily living expenses of life. Something not to many of us really think about until something like this happens.

I'm the one that hasn't been able to sleep, and feels stressed over the situation. My boyfriend on the other hand doesn't seem to worry at all, even though he has even higher monthly bills than me.

I know first hand that jobs are not easy to come by in this economy, and wonder how long it will take to find a job. Or shall I dare say find a job I love?

To have something like this happen right before the holidays really puts a dampen on things. An array of emotions overwhelms me that is hard to even put into words.

Which leads me to that famous quote "things happen for reasons", maybe I have to trust that they do but when you lose your income it's hard to understand the reason.

Has anyone else been affected by our poor economy? If so share your story, and how you are dealing with it?

Monday, December 14, 2009

Monday Musings

So once again it's Monday, where oh where do the weekends go. Never seem to get enough time with the people I love.

This weekend I was feeling extremely exhausted so I did a little work but mainly tried to relax. Sometimes we all need that....you know days where we just do nothing but lay on the couch. In my opinion, they are good for the soul. And winter seems to bring on a feeling of hibernation.

My morning ritual before work was not the same this morning though because Diane Sawyer and Chris Coumo left Good Morning America. For years now I have watched them in the morning, their chemistry the four of them had was simply fun. But as seems to be with tv they can't just let good things be, they always have to try to better the shows when sometimes what they have is already the best.

Mondays are already hard enough come on Good Morning America bring the team back. Anyway....let's start off today with a little inspiration. "First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do." Great words for a Monday. Let's all strive to have jobs or careers we love, so that Mondays become days we like not dread.

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Thursday, December 10, 2009

Irony

Life can be very ironic sometimes. Take for example my boyfriend losing his job, it was not long ago when we first moved to this area that I was in the same position and desperately looking for a job.

Now at the time my boyfriend had a job, and as he informed me had never really been without a job. In fact, he liked to remind me that he pretty much got offered any job he interviewed with. So he wasn't understanding of the fact that jobs were hard to come by and I wasn't exactly going to get offered one over night.

He would make a lot of comments about how I must not be trying hard enough, must be too picky,etc.. Thing is during that time I never relaxed....when he got up at 8 am so did I, I spent hours perusing job listings, sending out resumes and the such. And about 4 months into my search I landed a job. I had read many an article that it had taken people over a year to find a job in the bleak economy so I thought I did pretty well at the time. And a job is something you spend a lot of time at so I personally feel it's better to take the time, be a little picky because it's easier than having to go from job to job. Hence as irony has it, he is now in the same situation and I wonder now if he understands how I felt when I went through it.

Point is life is very ironic, and has a way of circling around. People find themselves in the same situations that others may be in today. And when someone experiences it themselves it is a whole other story. So today think about how and what you say to others....words can mean the world of difference in someone's day. Put yourself in the other persons shoes and try to imagine what it's like in their little world.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Christmas Spirit

Remember as a kid when you wrote your list for Santa? Or maybe it was just a list for your family. As an adult it seems so long ago, but there was such anticipation and excitement that would surround the holidays.

I think as we get older there is something about the holidays that still seems to envoke those feelings. Maybe it's that we remember the feeling from childhood and it just carries through, or maybe it's the decorations, lights, music, and overall festivities of the season.

Whatever it is....it envokes those memories from childhood of waiting up to try and get a glimpse of Santa Clause, or not being able to sleep Christmas Eve because the thought of gifts under the tree was just too exciting.

And I guess as we get older the gifts become less important, though I think deep down we still feel an air of excitement and anticipation about the thought of anyone getting us a gift. Let's face it, it's nice to be given gifts especially ones from the heart.

Honestly I think Christmas is more about the spirit then anything, the feelings it envokes, the coming together of families, and all that other great stuff. We should all remember this time of year to just take a moment or two and enjoy it all. Spend it with the people who mean the most to you. Instead of thinking you have to spend lots of money, just give gifts from the heart those mean the most and don't have to cost a fortune.

And make a Christmas list for old time sake. Actually make two, a list of material items and a list non material items. Then hang that list up somewhere. Who knows what is on your Christmas list could open up a whole new list of new goals and ideas for the New Year.

My Material Christmas List

Silver Watch
Small inexpensive piece of jewelry from someone I love
Cute sweats or lounge clothes
Kitchen gadgets
Books
Art Supplies


My Non Material Christmas List

A job I love and/or my own business
A job for my boyfriend that he loves
Good Health for my dog and family
More time spent with my love ones without the distraction of cell phones, computers, and tvs
Increase in income
Help dogs in need
More time to just relax




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Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Reflections

This morning on my way to work I was reflecting on how many of us take for granted the ones we love, especially in how we communicate with them. Words do have meaning and they have the power to affect not only ones day but life. Think about it, we often times do or say things to those we love that we would never say to an acquaintance or friend.

For example, in love relationships how many of us at times talk in tones that are far from nice. When our significant others call us we might say "what or what do you want" instead of saying "hi I'm happy you called or a simple how are you". Or in talking to our parents we lose our patience quicker than we should and talk to them in tones we would never think about with a friend. And what about kids who often times hear from parents "not now" "what do you want".

Why do we feel it's okay to talk to the ones we love in words and tones that could hurt them or make them feel bad? Is it because we take for granted they are there, we take for granted their love, and their special bond to us. Maybe we should all take a second to think before we speak. And to think about how much our actions or words can affect those around us. The people who love us should always be shown kindness, love, and respect.

With that in mind have patience today, show kindness towards the one you love, don't forget that life is short and that words can last a lifetime.

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Monday, December 7, 2009

Monday Musings

It snowed in the Philadelphia area on Saturday which was the perfect touch to putting up the tree. This year with my boyfriend unemployed we are trying to save money, well at least I think that's the plan, and so we decided on a small fake tree.

Wasn't sure how it was going to look because last season we got a huge real one, so it's hard to compare to the perfection of that one. And after decorating our new little tree I think it is perfect in it's own way. Lighted trees and decorations always give a rather magical feel to this time of year, which is nice as people need a little more of that magical feeling in their lives, don't you think?

I'm definitely finding it a little harder to get up in the mornings with my boyfriend and dog able to sleep in to whenever they want.

And as anyone who reads this knows Mondays are not my favorite day for sure. It's always so hard to think there are five straight days of work ahead. Which has me thinking more and more that I need to start my own little company. Is that even possible? Could I do it and do something I actually love?

Ahhhh....something to definitely think about. Meanwhile I will share my little tree with everyone.

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Thursday, December 3, 2009

Say It Isn't So

As I peruse the daily news I am shocked and dismayed to read about Tiger Woods. In fact, I can't even find the words to convey how angry and upset reading such stories makes me feel.

It's simply just not right, it's not right to do to anyone. I've heard comments from people that were even more cruel such as she will get over it, the money will help. Really?????? Is that what our society has been reduced to? We no longer believe in love? The kind of love that when someone you love hurts you like that, it pierces the very core of the soul.

To give ones heart to someone whether it be in a relationship or marriage, and then to have that person give themselves intimately whether it be pyhsically or emotionally to another tears the heart and soul in ways that cannot always be repaired. What he did, and what many other continue to do is wrong. If you cannot give your love to one person then do not marry or commit yourself to a relationship. It's not fair to those who believe and trust in love.

What bothers me most if the non chalanant attitude many have. And what is wrong with the men and women who knowingly get involved with taken individuals? Do they have no conscious, no heart, no feelings? How could anyone knowingly do that to another person without feeling remorse, hurt, guilt, something?

I'm left with so many questions as to how our society thinks such behavior is ok? Tigers sponsers are going to stand by him, really? Why should these people be role models to children? Who wants their children to grow up with no morals or values, no honor or respect? Who wants their children to grow up to be weak individuals who cannot resist the temptations that will come their way in life?

There is so much that could be said but I'm too upset by such news to focus on writing any further. Let's pray for those people who cannot be honest, who cannot be faithful, who think it's ok to lie and disrespect the very people they say they love because honestly I cannot think of anything else that will help or save such lost people, other than maybe society saying enough is enough.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The Cat

So we have a cat that has apparantly taken up residence on one of our patio chairs. Not sure if it's male or female but the cat tends to show up every evening and upon waking it takes off each morning.

Approaching the cat only seems to make it run, though it did hide behind my flower pots the other day and listen as I talked to it. I've read up on stray cats and the consensus seems to be it's better to let them roam then to call rescue because most are put to sleep if they can't find a home. Does anyone know if that is true and the best way I could help this cat?

My boyfriend and dog are actually both allergic to cats so it's not like I could take it in. But when I see the cat outside sleeping in a ball I wish it had a nice home to snuggle into each night.

So if someone comes across my blog today and has advice on what we should do please feel free to leave a comment or send an email.

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Monday, November 30, 2009

Monday Thoughts

Yes it's once again Monday and that means back to work. Weekends are just too nice why do they have to only be two days in length?

Why do we not get to spend the majority of our time here on earth with the people who really matter in our lives? Makes no sense.

I'm already counting the days until the weekend arrives. I really have to find a job that makes me happy, or that I can say I love because I just can't continue feeling this down about work. I'm sure there are many people out there who feel the same way and exactly why there are some days I think it's hard to find a job doing what one loves.

I did manage to hang the Christmas lights this weekend. Funny how Christmas lights can make everything feel a little more magical.

Was hoping my boyfriend might volunteer to help hang the lights but he was too busy working on the computer and when he did decide to step away from it he was surprised they were already up.

My dad just assumed my boyfriend put them up because my dad always was in charge of lights, but in my household I'm pretty much in charge of such duties. In fact, I even put together all the bedroom furniture but that's a story for a different day.

So who put's the holiday lights up in your household? And what kind of lights are your favorite?

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Friday, November 27, 2009

Turkey Day Letdown

There was so much excitement for me leading up the Thanksgiving because I could not wait to spend quality time with my neice, and now that it has come and gone I'm suffering from a feeling of complete letdown as I return to work.

Pulling into the parking lot of our corporate complex it appeared that most of the companies here have off today, except maybe us and one other company. Even the cafe in the building is closed. That's the way it should be just let people have the day after Thanksgiving off especially since it falls on a Friday. It costs more to heat, light and get everything up running for one day then it would to just let people have a day off. Anyway....I won't get started on that topic. haha

But yes I feel down today and wish that I could have spent more time with my neice and sister. Why is it we spend most of our days with people who mean nothing to us, and the people who really mean something to us are the ones we don't get to spend enough time with. A couples hours when we get home at night, or each holiday just isn't enough time with the ones we love. Makes no sense.

And on another note I cannot believe people get up at 4 am to shop on this day. The idea sounds great but to actually get out there and do it I just don't have that kind of shopper dedication. Maybe if I had off it would be different because I could come home and sleep, I'm not sure if even that would be motivation to shop or have to wait in line at that hour of the morning.

Anyway happy day after turkey day to everyone, and for all those people who did get up and shop this morning hope you had fun! And to those who have to work today I know it sucks but let's try to think happy thoughts....I'm going to put some Christmas music on at my desk hopefully that will put me in a brighter mood.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Giving thanks....

It's nice to have holidays where everything is closed and people get to actually spend time with family. More days like that are needed. Thanksgiving has always had a special feel to it. Families getting together, good food, and just an overall warm atmosphere.

My Thanksgiving was great because I got to spend it with those I love and for that I am grateful. I wish I got to spend more moments with my neice because spending time with her feels like hitting the lottery....she just makes me feel so happy.

I'm thankful for family because they mean everything and without them I would be lost. I'm thankful for my boyfriend, and for special dog too.

I have to admit I normally get very excited for holidays but with my boyfriend losing his job there's a sense of fear that is over riding the excitement of the holiday season. I'm scared that in this economic time he may not find another job right away and I worry the impact that will have.

I'm thankful this Thanksgiving that we have each other and that's all that truly counts but a small part of me was looking forward to Christmas which probably won't happen in our little household this year. I know sounds gay but I think we all get excited for Christmas it's something as a kid we learn that we never seem to outgrow. haha

Even with my job our money will be tight because right now there are some expenses that are consuming my income at the moment, and one of those is very important because my dog needs medical treatment for her eye which is costing a fortune. Penn Vet charges $125 just for eye drops! Yeah I know insane right?

That is the thing in life you never know when something will pop up that requires money beyond your budget, and I'm learning each day how important saving really is. But even then anyone of us could encounter financial emergencies along the way that leave us wondering how will we do it.

And I guess no matter how much we might complain about our jobs we should be thankful we at least have one. So this Thanksgiving I'm giving thanks for my job too, even though it will never be near important as my family, boyfriend or dog. ; )

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving.

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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Bleak Economy Hit Home

Well the bleak job market and economy has finally hit home, my boyfriend lost his job as of yesterday. I can't begin to describe the feeling it leaves one with, it's that feeling like you have been hit in the stomach. It's hard to even imagine what he is feeling but I know I feel bad for him, and I worry about the whole financial implications this will have on us.

To think that right before the holidays companies would do such a thing just makes me feel even worse. Do big corporations even realize how truly hard it is out in the real world?????

Last year my boyfriends company Lincoln Financial suspended bonuses for all employees, but then turned around and gave big bonuses to the top executives. Executives who already commanded huge salaries to start with. It comes as no surprise he lost his job as they haven't had much work to do for over a year now, and they have been laying off people pretty much the whole year.

But maybe the company would not have to let all these people go if they were more fiscally careful with how they spend their money. It was obvious the way they gave big bonuses to their top executives that they really didn't care for the little guys in the company. Then again there seems to be many a company like that out there just look at what AIG did with their government bail out money.

I believe that what you give is what you get. Part of these failing corporations problem is they are consumed with greed and selfishness. How do they expect to be successful when they don't treat their own employees right?

Anyway, back to us it's going to be real hard the next couple of months. When you hear the reports the job market appears bleak, and who knows how long it will take to obtain another job. I'm sure both our spirits will improve but right now the shock of losing his job definitely has put a damper on things.

I pray that somehow we make it through this bleak economic time, and that hopefully this is a blessing in disguise and will lead my boyfriend to an even better job. Let's hope.

p.s. and maybe the universe was trying to tell me something today because contained in an email I was sent was the following "Remember when you count all you are thankful for that often what seems less than ideal may be your most valuable blessing -- hidden in disguise."

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Friday, November 20, 2009

Honesty....Is A Lonely Word

As I get older honesty becomes one of those virtues I value more, I'm talking the kind of honesty you share with a friend or loved one....where no matter what, you can rely on that person to always be not only truthful but true to their word.

Honesty truly can be a lonely word though.

I wonder are others who value the importance of honesty. And do those who don't realize they only hurt themselves when they choose to keep the truth from others. There is no room to live an authentic life when one tells lies or hides the truth because they never open themselves completely to others. And in life to get those soul connections with others one needs to be able to be honest. It's the difference between being an acquaintance and being a true friend.

One person I look up to is my sister. She has never been one to hide from honesty. She tells you like it is, no matter if you want to hear it or not. She doesn't hold back and that's one of the many great things about her. You always know with her you get real honesty, and in return a feeling of total trust.

That isn't always the case with others. I've encountered quite a few who think it's ok to hide the truth, to tell a lie, they don't even seem to feel guilt or remorse, and why is that? How could anyone not feel a twinge of remorse for not being honest with another especially if that person is a good friend or loved one.

I wish more people could be like my sister, but I guess there are many people who for one reason or another can't or prefer not to open themselves completely to others, who hide behind lies for whatever various reasons they feel they need. It's sad, not only that, but as I tend to do....I want to help those people but how can you help people who can't even be real?

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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Do What You Love....

That is a saying Oprah is known for but how many of us really do what we love each day? How many of us can honestly say we can't wait to go to work each morning because we love the work we are doing? And how many of us have talents that go wasted and unused each day?

I think if we really took a poll the people who get to do what they love for a living are probably a small percentage of the population. Sometimes I find it depressing that so many people wake up with the thought "another day I have to go to work" "is the weekend here yet". Why can't more people find jobs they love, jobs that use their natural born abilities and talents?

Oprah makes it seem easy but in reality there are many who just don't have the option, opportunity, or even time to do what they really love. Guess I'm pondering why that is and how to go about creating a world in which everyone can love what they do.

I can think of a few hobbies I would love to be able to turn into a career. How do you figure out what you love to do? It's those things that when you are doing them you lose yourself in, that you find happiness or satisfaction while doing, it's often be said that people feel a type of zen state when doing things they love.

So today go do something you love, or that your good at. Find something a hobby, job, whatever it may be that makes you happy!

And if you feel like sharing I would love to hear what it is you do that makes you happy, or what you wish you could do for a job that would make you happy.

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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Niceness Returned

Wow what a surprise I got when I went home last night. Walked in to find dinner made, dim lighting, and the kitchen table set. We never eat at the kitchen table so it was a big deal, and sweet gesture!

Funny after expressing my thoughts on niceness yesterday, that this would be done for me was just what I needed. It's almost as if the universe sensed my doubts about niceness and gave me a little inspiration. It was nice because I was sorely doubting the whole concept of niceness yesterday.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that because I think it was very special and I feel much gratitude for the whole dinner and thought behind it. Really cannot express how much little things mean, how thinking about someone, and putting someone first somedays can just make all the difference.

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Monday, November 2, 2009

Thoughts On Niceness

Somedays I feel like being nice gets you no where. Does anyone appreciate niceness or recognize it?

There are honestly those moments when I think a line can be crossed between being too nice, and not sticking up for oneself.

Take for instance this morning....my landlord came over to do work on the house. None of the other apartments answered their door(none of them work), my boyfriend laid in bed, so I....who was up getting ready for work answered the door.

I had to listen to a lecture about all the stuff that needed to be done...like the couch that was sitting outside, suppose to be disposed of months ago by my man. Yes I know it needs to be trashed but lecture my bf its his responsbility. Besides, the guy upstairs has been keeping his hitch in the drive way, is he getting told to move it or getting fined if he doesn't? Does she realize how much work and responsibility I put into her place that I get no profit from.

Sometimes niceness does get taken for granted people don't appreciate it. Like this weekend....we carved pumpkin for my boyfriends little brother and it was I who ended up scrubbing the floor and kitchen of all the pumpkin stuff. (my man got to come home and hop in bed) That is besides cleaning the house this weekend, doing all the laundry which means running up and down basement stairs from 8-8 because the laundry machine only does small loads. Vacumming and cleaning was the last thing that I wanted to do. But I have a dog with severe allergies so things have to be kept clean.

In fact, I'm starting off Monday feeling sheerly exhausted. And sometimes I just feel that when your nice, when you do nice things, that they seem to go unappreciated. Almost like people take for granted you are there and you will just do them.

When does niceness just turn into being a doormat somedays. Am I suppose to just let people give me their word or make promises only to break it, and not be upset or say anything? Am I suppose to just put up with a landlord who takes forever to fix things but demands things be done asap when she finally decides to care? Am I suppose to just not say anything when my day tends to get cancelled often even though it means a lot to me? Know what I mean? One can be nice but they also should be able to express when they feel others aren't being nice.

I go out of my way to be nice to people, I make sure to treat others as I would want to be treated, but sometimes when I feel that niceness gets overlooked or crapped upon, well then yes I am going to speak up for myself or get upset. And I have the right to feel that way sometimes because I'm not going to be nice to someone who I feel disrespects me or isn't being nice to me.

I am a very simple person all I require is people be nice, compassionate, honest, be loyal, respect, and communicate openly. It's when people don't honor that, that then makes me feel my niceness is being taken for granted.

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Friday, October 30, 2009

What Makes Someone Selfish and Some Unselfish

So today in my lack of sleep state I'm wondering what makes someone selfish? Why do someone people put others first, and others only put themselves first?

I don't think most people mean to be selfish but there are those who are just so consumed with themselves. It's all about what they want, what they need, they don't seem to take the time to really think that what they do might actually affect others.

Where does that come from? Is it learned or inherited?

And what makes some people so unselfish to the point they think of others before themselves. The people who would do anything to help someone, or always put others needs before their own?

Neither to the extreme is good. It's a combination of the two that make for a more grounded person because let's face it one can't always put others needs before their own but one never wants to take it to an extreme where they can't see beyond themselves either.

Just something to think about. Maybe it's too deep for a Friday but it's something I felt like writing about.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Promises....

What is a promise? A promise by definition is: a transaction between two or more persons whereby the first person undertakes in the future to render some service, gift or assurance to the others or devotes something valuable now and here to use.

Often times it feels like the word gets misused, people and even groups make promises that often times aren't kept which defeats the whole purpose of making one. Not only that but it erodes the trust and dependability that goes along with a promise.

What happens when a promise is made and not kept? Often times people feel hurt, disappointed or even deceived. Words mean something, to give ones word and keep it is important. When people don't comes not only disappointment but also a certain disrepect is felt. As if the person making the promise simply could care less.

It's not even about what was promised, it's just knowing that someone kept their word, and knowing you can trust that when an individual makes a promise it will be upheld. That their word really means, that is what matters the most knowing you can count on someone.

In life it's hard to find people whose word means something, who really mean what they say.

Problem is our society as a whole seems to be slipping further and further away from that. The news is filled with stories of promises broken, which people seem to just accept. Why is that? Why do people just accept things, instead of standing up for what they think is right.

For example, if a politician breaks his word and promises why do we as a society let him get away with it? We have votes, in fact if enough loud mouths speak up there's a great possibility of getting the politician to live up to his promises. Same goes for other such situations.

If we allow others to break promises they will keep doing it, today take responsbility for what you say and help other's take responsibility for what they say.

If you make a promise keep it, and if you can't explain from the bottom of your heart why you can't, and how you will make up for it.....because even that goes a long way. Then really keep to your word and make up for it.

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Monday, October 26, 2009

Dr Appointments Screenings?

Wow does anyone wanna hear an unusual way of scheduling Doctor's appointments.

I have a Doctor close to where I work, where you can't just call and make an appointment. You first have to tell all your health details to the receptionist, who then relys it to a nurse, the nurse calls you back, then asks you to describe in detail the problem....from there she decides whether you are worthy of an appointment. Or whether they will just prescribe something.

So a nurse who never saw the patient decides whether the patient is worthy of being seen in person for an appointment? Yup.

Has anyone ever heard of that before? No doctor in the past that I ever seen had a appointment screening test like that, if you feel sick they schedule an appointment. Besides, how can any office prescribe medicine without seeing the patient first?

Plus this office only has hours from 9-5, and no weekend. And my workplace doesn't exactly like people leaving during work hours. So it looks like the negatives out weight the positives for this doctor's office. Looks like I will go back to my old doctor at least they schedule appointments with no screenings and have evening hours. Down side driving 50 mins to get there which is why I tried the new doctor in the first place being she was only 5 mins down the road. Oh well another lessoned learned.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Habits....

So I've decided you can love someone but you definitely don't have to love their habits. haha

My man has a few habits that I don't always understand, sometimes they even puzzle me. Plus many affect me in some way or form. Take for example electronics.

You see the tv in our house it's always on. From the moment he wakes up until the time he goes to bed. If it wasn't for me he would sleep with it on too.

We are talking eating, getting dressed, romance, and even working the thing is always on. In fact I think Sportscenter could be put on hold temporarily to have a little romance but nope it stays on the whole time. It wakes me up when it's turned on early am while I am still trying to sleep. That's the only real time it bothers me but hey sleep is precious.

Oh, don't even get me started on the blackberry, I'll save that story for another day. (that habit is lot more dangerous) Really the electronics are mild habits compared to a few others. So I'm not complaining because I'm sure I have annoying habits too. We all do, and that's what makes us human and unique from each other. But I'm up early, half asleep, and just felt like venting....that's all. haha Sleeepppppppp.

Oh yeah and as I write this the tv is on. Been on since 7:30 am, so much for sleeping in on this Sunday morning!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Truth....

"Truth fears no questions".

Short but to the point. Ever notice how a person who has lied, even if it is a small white lie becomes uncomfortable when asked a question pertaining to the lie. That or people become defensive or just avoid answering the question. Because one question can cause a whole other host of lies to be told to cover up the first. That's the way it works with lies questions are their worst enemy. So much truth in such a small quote.

So why do people not just tell the truth? To even try to answer that might take pages because everyone has their own reasons, and reasoning behind what they do.

Though let's face it, living a life of truth is much easier and less painful than creating lies that only end up hurting the people who tell them. Lies burden ones soul in ways many don't realize. There's a loss of character, respect, honesty, loyalty, and other such virtues. Some would say who cares....but the body, the mind, and the soul care. The stress that can come with even one small lie can wreck havoc on such things.

While being truthful allows one to be 100 percent themselves, it allows others to see them for who they really are. People who live in the truth are stronger souls because they have nothing to hide, they show their cards for all to see....accept me or don't. And the weak hide behind lies usually out of a variety of fears.

I've read some stories lately, even heard stories from a friend or two that saddened me because the truth was kept from them in ways that deeply hurt them later on. And sometimes in life there isn't always a second chance to redeme oneself. Which led me to want to share with the world the above quote.

Let's all live in truth. Let's show our true selves to people. Life is sweeter when you can just be yourself and live in the light of the truth. Forgive yourself and others for the lies they have told in the past they know no better, but from now on live in truth, ask the people in your life to live in truth and seek those who do, and see what happens.

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Thursday, October 22, 2009

Surprise Flowers

So yesterday I got a surprise a bouquet of flowers. Anyone who understands my love for flowers knows what a great gift that is. And the thought behind the flowers was even more special.

Amazing how little things like that can just brighten a whole day. Between the beauty of the flowers and the thought behind them....it was like sun popping out on a cloudy day. Simply wonderful.

It just goes to show you that gratitude and happiness can be found in simple gestures and moments. Often times we take those little things for granted but we shouldn't because one never knows how much it can mean to someone else.

So with that in mind go do something special for someone in your life today. Doesn't have to cost a lot or be some extravagant gift....do something from the heart that has meaning. Bring a smile to someones face, show them how much you care, and most importantly do it from the heart.

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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Life Like The Waltons

Does anyone remember the Waltons? It was a tv show that aired in the 70's., about a husband and wife with seven children, and their parents living under the same roof. It was based on the creator's own life growing up in Virginia during the Depression and World War II days.

It was a marvelous, feel good kind of show that spoke of real morals and values. The tv shows today are lacking that. Either they spend much of their time making fun of each other or being saracastic, often little respect is shown for the elders of the show, and overall the family unit appears chaotic compared with the strength the Waltons showed.

So I was thinking today life like the Waltons clan would be pretty amazing. I'm not saying we should go back to the depression era, but what I am saying is family should be held important and put before anything. There should be more respect shown toward family members too. I think our tv shows today are a reflection of the reality of what has become of families.

The Waltons had their ups and downs but always managed to respect each other, to work through their problems, to put their family first, and each night they went to be saying I love you. That's what life needs more of. It needs stronger family units where people but their family before work, friends, and other outside things.

Years ago generations of families lived together now families are scattered across the country or would not want to entertain living with generations under one roof. The family unit is often taken for granted as are family members. Kids need to have relationships with their grandparents, and adults need to have relationships with their parents....it's the circle of life and there is much knowledge and wisdom to be imparted from such relationships. Siblings should try and form the strongest relationships possible because blood is the strongest bond there is.

Anyway....if you haven't seen the show I suggest you do because life like the Waltons has the ability to make this world a better place. Today put your family first....call your parents,siblings, grandparents, etc., tell them you love and make plans to do something special with them because family is what life is all about.

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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Sharing A Thermostat

So I've mentioned the joys of renting before but here's another one. Alas since our apt is in a house, and there are only two other apts....the landlord decided one thermostat would be ok to control the heat in all apts. What?

Yeah you heard right all apts share the same thermostat. So it makes this time of year and right through winter very tricky. One apt stays cool, the other gets hot and so who gets to say what temperature it gets set at? No one and that is the problem. People move it up and down it's pretty silly. Then again who ever heard of one thermostat shared by multiple apartments?

And yes we are trying to find another place problem is the inside of this place is so newly renovated, and the rooms are big that it's hard to find another place for the reasoable price we pay now. Plus we have a beautiful large patio, with an area to garden which I love. Ideally we would like to rent or buy a house but either the insides are so out dated or the prices are just out of hand. We work in an area with housing prices that are rather high.

So in the meantime I'm wondering how another year of sharing a thermostat is going to play out. Will we all be running in and out of our apts trying to move the dang thing to the temperature we prefer? If so it might just turn into a Seinfield like episode.

Ah the joys of renting....

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Ivanka's New Book

Good Morning America did an interview with Ivanka Trump about her new book that is about to be released this morning. I had to chuckle when she said it's a book written for her peers. What peers? The majority of her peers will never have the privileges Ivanka has. It's hard to give advice when you never really had to work like the average joe for what you have.

I'm not saying that Ivanka is not smart because getting in Wharton is definitely an achievement. Her intelligence is quite obvious when you hear her speak. And she appears by all means to be a nice person. But her writing a book just doesn't appeal to me as I can't help but think she has no idea what it's like in the real world.

The average student at Wharton comes out at least 80,000 in debt. And that's not including undergraduate debt. Trying to find a job, surviving on the after college budget that so many students have to these days is something Ivanka knows nothing about. Because of her name doors automatically open in the workplace. Yes some of that has to do with her intelligence and a lot of that also has to do with who her father knows. Her title to be exact is executive vice president of development and acquisitions for the Trump organization. Come on.

She will never know what it's like in this economic time to have to send out hundreds of resumes and hope to hear back from at least a few. With so many companies laying off these days, even an ivy league degree does not guarantee a high paying job, nor a job at all. So I find it very hard to understand how she can write a book of any sort that is directed at her peers.

Is she referring to her peers in the 5% of the millionaire world or her socialite friends/fiance? Her fiance's father made a 2.5 million dollar donation to Harvard and of course that is where he went. Her world is just different than the average person so writing a book that peers could actually relate to is rather difficult. Even Donald would have a hard time with that one.

Does she realize how long it takes the average graduate student to even pay back their loans? Does she even know how many of her peers are struggling to stay afloat in this economy? Or how many of her peers have been laid off, or can't find a job, even though their resumes are inpeciable?

What about all her peers who work much longer hours, who give so much of their lives to their job, who have to work the ladder of the corporate world, biding their time hoping to one day hold that executive position, sometimes even having to work two jobs to stay afloat financially and pay back all their educational loans.

So write a book Ivanka but don't think you understand what it's like to live or work in the real world. Yes, you are intelligent but so are many, many others in this world. The truth is no matter what you like to think, you have gotten where you are because of the family name and who your father is. Trust me doors have been opened to you that will remain closed for the vast majority of your peers.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Quit Smoking or Not?

So my guy on his own decided as of Sept 1 he was going to quit smoking. Which I know is no easy task given how addicting nicotine is, and the fact that he tried before but eventually caved to the cigs. I was estatic to hear him say those words.

And I've been really proud of him because I know it's not easy but he's been saying how he's doing it and it's not that hard. Well, that is until I realized when he sleeps at night I once again smell the smoke coming out his nose.

Yeah I know odd right, but that's what happens when he sleeps for some reason this strong smoke smell is released. Which worries me the most because it means that poison is getting into his lungs and system.

So the other night I came home to realize the room smelled of smoke, ah it was his shirt. It was disappointing because he has been telling me giving up smoking was not hard....but in reality he never gave it up. Most disappointing has been that he felt he needed to lie to me and hide that he was smoking again. He doesn't get how that makes me more upset, I'd rather he smoke then lie.

His side is that he is only smoking a cigarette here or there not half a pack as he used to, that he technically did give it up. As I said to him quitting smoking means giving them up, not having one here or there, it means not touching them all together. That's why quitting is hard because you have to learn to reach for something else when you feel the need for a cigarette. And to his body driving, golfing, drinking, coffee and working go hand in hand with smoking.

There's not much I can do really but I hate that cigarettes have such control on his body. They are hurting his wonderful body in so many ways. I'll admit I don't like smoking the smell is awful, and peoples clothes, car, skin, and breath always smell like smoke. To a smoker its not a big deal but to someone that doesn't smoke the smell isn't pleasant. And to think that is going inside him.

But I love him so if he isn't going to quit than I hope he can at least be honest about his habit, and out of respect for me not smoke when I am around. Secretly....I'm going to pray that God gives him the strength to quit once and for all because when you love someone you just want them to be the best and healthiest they can be.

By the way, is there such a thing as quitting smoking and then having a few a day? ; )

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Tuesday, October 6, 2009

What Happened To Sears?

Sears was always one of those stores I thought was the place to go for appliances or exercise equipment....in the past they always had reliable products and great customer service. Well that can't be said anymore as the few experiences I have had lately have been absolutely horrible, and these companies wonder why they are in financial troubles?

Recently I bought a treadmill, drove to the store picked it up and brought it home only to find the main piece, yes the base one has to walk on was completely cracked. I bought the warranty so I thought it should not be a big deal but of course it was. Instead of just sending me a new base there is huge process that has to be followed first which means the treadmill isn't going to be put together or used anytime soon.

I was told after being on hold numerous times, being transferred to numerous different departments that a tech has to first come out to look at it, then he decides what is to be done, and the part has to be ordered. Oh and the tech is schedule anytime between 8-5 which means the consumer has to miss work waiting for them to show up.

Huh? If the base is completely cracked there is nothing they can repair. It's a brand new treadmill....a new base should be ordered and that's it. But no I was told they can't order the piece until the tech actually looks at it. Really?

So at this point it looks like the best option is to return it. Why give Sears my money at this point when it looks like the treadmill won't be useable for awhile. Very disappointed in Sears and don't think I would bother buying any further products from them. Upon doing some research into the company it appears Sears has one of the highest complaints issued and worst customer service department.

Note to other companies if you want to actually see a profit make sure your merchandise is of top quality, that your customer service is top notch, and when something new is cracked....just offer a new piece not the run around to get a new piece.

Edward Lampert the chairman and major stockholder of Sears should take his customers inquiries and complaints seriously then maybe he would see his company's profits rise.

Monday, October 5, 2009

The Greatness Of A Nation....

"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated."

This quote holds so much truth. It's with dismay that I write this blog today. Yet another kitten was abused and tortured in Philadelphia this past weekend. And unfortunately the news just reported that it did not survive. This on the heels of another kitten being duck taped and abandoned. Does anyone animal or human deserve to be treated like such?

What is wrong with people who enjoy abusing and torturing animals? Something is obviously very wrong mentally to even mull over the idea in one's head, let alone act upon it. And how do we as a country protect the animals from such cruelty since we can't even seem to protect humans? What is this world coming to when it's people abuse and torture innocent helpless dogs and cats who only want to give their unconditional love to humans.

I'm a dog person. And I’m not saying all dogs are perfect because occasionally one comes across an animal that just can’t be helped behaviorally, but let's face it we come across people like that too. Usually breeds become dangerous because people make them that way.

Each time I read a story such as todays I think of the quote above and believe the morals of this country are slipping at steep rate, one if which let to continue will create a weak nation with no morals and/or values. Once that happens we might as well live in total anarchy. Harsh words probably but even harsher is the reality of the world we live in. The news that is reported to us each day is filled with too many stories about people with no morals, no values, no regard for life, and no understanding of what it means to live a good life based on respect, honestly, kindness, compassion, truth, and most of all love.

Hopefully we as a nation learn from these small acts of cruelty that our society can't continue on the path it is. That somehow we find a way to create a world that is good, where stories like cuddles becomes rare, and acts of goodness become the norm.

There are lots of cats and dogs that need good homes. Start by doing something good today and go to your local spca an adopt one. The rewards are ten fold. And don't forget animals are like humans they need love, exercise, good food, medical care,cost money, and may not always do everything you want them to so make sure you are ready for the responsibility that comes with having a little heart dependent upon you.

Today my blog is dedicated to cuddles. Whose story can be read by following the link below.

http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=news/local&id=7048354h



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Thursday, October 1, 2009

Wool

If you are like me and have sensitivities to wool, you know just how hard it can be to find pretty, warm winter sweaters without wool. This season Old Navy brought out very pretty sweaters but to my dismay every one of them contained some percentage of wool.

Oh I've tried my share of wool coats and sweaters but the itching eventually takes over and makes wearing it too uncomfortable. Even tried putting button down shirts under them but didn't help all that much. And I've bought a few cotton sweaters here and there but they are so light that they are more designed for summer than the cold air of winter.

Our office happens to be freezing in both summer and winter so I can't even really get away with just a button down, a warm sweater is a must.

So what is one to do when they can't wear wool. Any ideas?

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

How Do We Really Help?

How do we really help? My degree is in psychology with a concentration in addictions/drug counseling and I tend to ponder that question a lot.

Drugs have always annoyed me for many reasons.... they change personalities, they destroy lives, they cause people to lie, steal, and partake in activities/behaviors they otherwise would not. Sometimes they destroy the core of who someone is and take over their lives. They put others in society at risk, for example when they drive under the influence. Not to mention all the kids being raised my parents who just pass along the problem.

Just never saw the appeal to it. So one feels good for a little, that's all it is and eventually one has to keep doing it to feel that way hence usually leading to some form of dependency. Besides why if someone is healthy would they want to risk putting their body through all that? Risk hurting themselves? I get annoyed if I have to take antibiotics or even tylenol because who wants that crap in the body unless they absolutely need it?

Something compelled me to want to help. As always found it interesting because drugs cross over into every class, every race, and every neighborhood there's no discrimination when it comes to who uses. And it's users all need the same kind of help.

I've had acquintances some close, some not, along the way through highschool until now that have had issues with alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, painkillers and even heroin. And I've tried hard to help the ones who asked for it, and even help the ones that didn't.

But the question always remains the same, and not just with drugs but with any addiction, how do we really help those who need it? Many of who don't want to be helped but who desperately need it. Maybe it starts with asking why first? Why did they start? What do they get from it that it's worth risking their lives and going in debt for? There are no concrete answers I suppose.

For example with drugs/alcohol....how do you help people who try to hide or lie about their problems? Who cannnot own up to the drugs they take, the amount they take or drink, or the lies they tell to cover it all up? Or the people who don't believe or even realize they have a problem? I think for most families and loved ones the lies are just as worse as the problem. The people with the problems are so consumed by it they don't realize how apparant their lies, desperation, moods, and overall behavior are to those around them. How very hard they make it to get help for themselves and to let others help them.

So until people of this world figure out how to live life sober, this world needs to figure out how to really help? What is the answer?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Well.....

It appears they got my computer back up and running. They called last night to let me know it just needed a system restore and some RAM. Hopefully I will have time to pick it up today. Not exactly cheap to fix but better than having to get an entire new one. Yeah! Oh and I learned one important lesson make sure to back up all data and pictures to an external hard drive. Honestly I got lazy about it but now I realize just how important it is to do.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Ahhhh Computers

So my computer had a massive shutdown not sure what the problem is yet but it's why I haven't blogged lately. Work as been very busy and since my computer at home is currently under the weather it looks like I'm going to have to make time to write from here. Stay tuned.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Rain And The House

So we rent and that pretty much means we are at the hands of our landlord should there be a problem. As some know, there are landlords who are very hands on and others who are most definitely not. Ours is the former, and it's definitely been interesting when something needs to be fixed. The house still has no rain gutters which is a long story in itself.

Rain though is the worst because the basement floods, and they are well aware it floods but don't care to do anything about it. Yeah you heard right. So when it floods the water just sits there until it evaporates, or seeps into the ground. The home is an older Victorian type....the basement just has the cement floor with old crumbly walls.

The inside of the house was completely remodeled with new everything it's very pretty, but the sad part is they never did anything to the outside or the basement. And the basement, with all the flooding is definitely not going to hold up....one can see mold starting to form already.

So I guess I'm sitting here today thinking why would they not at least install a sump pump? Or take the time to put up gutters which would help move the water to the street? This house was owned by my landlords family so you think she would want to maintain it and keep it nice. The lack of pride some people have when it comes to taking care of houses and property is surprising.

Meanwhile, I'm starting to worry because this stagnant water laying in the basement and seeping through the house cannot be good. It is going to breed mold and who knows what else. Yes, we have definitely been looking for a new place but right now the market just isn't that great for what we are looking for or finding it in the area we want.

It's obvious she is going to do nothing. In fact, she acts as if water sitting in the basement is no big deal. Seriously. So what could be done in the meantime. Do we pour bleach on the stagnant water? How can we really prevent mold from forming without spending a lot of money?

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Greatness....

"Greatness is not found in possessions, power, position, or prestige. It is discovered in goodness, humility, love, service and character."

What a great quote and something to remember as we all go about our day.

I believe we each are here to learn to be become better souls, that is what greatness is all about. To learn how to give and receive unconditional love, and to show kindness, compassion, patience and understanding toward ourselves, others and life.

All to often we believe greatness is found outside ourselves or that it's related to the degree one holds, job position, or material things one owns. But greatness comes from within, it's who you are as a person.

We are all capable of doing something great today. It doesn't have to be something big it could be something as simple as holding the door for someone that needs it. It's kind words and actions, they inspire and create greatness!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

"I Love You"

I love you....they are three simple words yet hold enornmous power.

Just read an article about how taken for granted those words can be.

Often times people assume their loved ones know how they feel, so they feel no urgency or need to express the feeling on a frequent basis. Some just have a hard time expressing those type of emotions. And others just get lazy when it comes to saying it.

But love like anything else needs to be nurtured between friends, family, siblings, partners, etc., finding a way to express it is important.

Personally speaking I know I have been guitly of not saying the word often enough but I've made a conscious effort to change that because I want the people in my life to know how important they are to me.

Truth is we should always remember to be grateful for the things we have and the people we love. Each and every day we should take a moment to remind our loved ones how much they mean to us and how much we truly love them. No one knows what tomorrow holds, why not tell the people in ones life how much they mean.

I love you should be as frequent as good morning and good night. Besides the world could use more love....I love you readers for taking the time to read my blog!

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Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Romance

I'm a true romantic through and through. In fact, probably what they call an old school romantic. And I've heard people say that romance has become a lost art. To hear that saddens me as I feel romance is an important aspect of life it brings a little magic to each of our lives.

Romance isn't something that can be truly defined because it's about making someone feel loved and appreciated. Ultimately romance is incredibly personal. Different things are going to make different people feel loved. Maybe that is why romance has become a lost art because people get too caught up in Hollywood's definition of romance instead of creating their own.

It also means putting side what one considers romantic and considering what their partner finds romantic, and then finding a way to bring both partners romantic ideas together so both feel loved. And lets not forget romance can be created for anyone, including oneself because it's really just an expression of love. And that is why it should never become a lost art because expressing love is what keeps relationships of all kinds strong, happy, and nurtured.

Personally speaking romance to me is candles, flowers, cards or little notes, kisses, cuddling, slow dancing, making love, gentle rubs, breakfast in bed, walks while holding hands, watching sunsets, cooking together, and other simple little gestures.

And if you are reading this think about what romance means to you? And create a little romance today. Or go do something romantic for the one you love. Big or small it doesn't matter, what matters most is that it comes from the heart.

And if so inclined share your romantic ideas here, or drop me a note as I'd love to hear your thoughts on what romance means to you.

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Monday, August 31, 2009

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

I've been a little quiet in my writings, it's not as if I don't have anything to say it's just some days I'm not sure I want to put it all into words and on paper. Ever feel that way?

Today I came across a favorite quote of mine and thought what better time to write a little something, and share a little inspiration with the world.


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Friday, August 14, 2009

Philadelphia Eagles....why????

Why is the question I keep asking over and over this morning. I don't understand how the NFL could even think about reinstating Michael Vick back into the NFL. Nor how the Philadelphia Eagles could hire him. Is it all about winning and money?

Could it be that Andy Reid's feels like he must give him a second chance because Reid's kids are criminals too? In fact, Reid's kids might be more dangerous than Vick given they seem to be always high on some hardcore drug or pulling guns on innocent citizens in Philadelphia. Is that why Eagles?

Whatever the reason this is the NFL not a rehabilation program for parolees. And based on Vicks past action and behvavior, a serious rehabilation program is what Vick needs....not a job playing in the NFL. Yes, I'm all for second chances but in the case of anyone who has committed a serious crime it needs to be done slowly. And there has to be a serious rehabilation process instated before such people can live normal lives in society again.

I am disgusted by the thought of this man who tortured and abused dogs in such cruel manners be allowed to resume his career in the NFL so easily. No that is not right and what message does that send to our society? I'm a huge sports fan but I find it difficult to understand how professional sports leagues seems so nonchalant about such matters.

As part of his parole Vick should be working in a program to rehabilitate the dogs lives he destroyed, not given the highly prestigious job of a professional athlete so soon. We aren't aren't talking about a few hours a week either, he should be working at one of these animal shelters 8 hrs or more a day. And half, if not more, of his salary should be required to be donated to the SPCA. That would be a good start.

It's just a sad day in Philadelphia, as if we don't have enough problems in the city to contend with now this. One thing is for sure my Eagles jersey is going in the trash because I've reached my limit with the Eagles organization between the coaches kids terrorizing the city, McNabbs inability to be a true team leader, Lurie's showy Hollywood ways, and now Vick it's just not a respectable organization or one to be proud of.

This would be a good time to donate to the local animal organizations and shelters. They are the real heros who save the victims in cases like Vicks. So please donate your money and time because these organizations that protect and save dogs need funding.

http://www.aspca.org/

http://www.spca.com/

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

For saking all others....

"And forsaking all others, be faithful only to him/her so long as you both shall live?" Those are the words in the standard wedding vow but what happened to upholding those vows? And not only in marriage but when one gives their love to another in any committed relationship....what happened to being faithful?

I ponder these questions and more because once again in the news another well known person was exposed as a cheater. Pitino coach of Louisville was caught not only cheating but in an extortion scandal.

So the question becomes....is it really that hard to keep ones private parts inside their underwear and privately reserved for the individual they are in a relationship with?

I understand most people have urges, even those that won't admit it, and that there will be temptation at times but the whole point of being married or in a relationship is to have the strength to control those urges out of love and respect for the other. Many people because they so deeply love another don't give it much thought to begin with. If you truly love someone why would you want to be with someone else.

We've all heard the many excuses of people needing variety, not getting enough at home, madonna/whore complexes,etc., ok fine so work those issues out in therapy or talk to your partner and find a way that both people get their needs met openly and honestly. Or maybe avoid the situations that are known weaknesses, but don't hurt the ones you love and bring such disgrace on your own character and innocent families.

Maybe the deeper issue is the lack of communication within relationships? How often do couples talk about their needs openly and honestly with each other. How often do couples listen to what their mates try to tell them, or really take an interest in what makes their mates happy. There are a lot of couples who have different views, needs, etc., maybe the key is finding ways to compromise so both individuals remain content, happy, and grow stronger together. Think about it people spend much of their time working, and many people like Pitino spend too much time away from home. Most relationships just aren't given the time, communication, or nurturing that allows them to grow strong and be sustainable.

Back to the point, I'm just tired of hearing about these people who cannot respect and be faithful to those they made promises to. It's disheartening to know we have such selfish, and maybe weak, individuals in our society. It sounds harsh but how should an individual who breaks vows and hurts those they love be described?

And how as our society do we make marriages and relationships stronger in an age where values such as honesty, loyalty, and faithfulness seem lost. When will people take serious the promises and vows they make to others? What happened to forsaking all others for love?

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Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Emerson Quote

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

I love a great quote. Hope that whoever may stumble upon my blog today is inspired by Emerson's words of wisdom.

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Friday, August 7, 2009

Beauty, Happiness, Success, and Love......

While watching "La Ink" last night, there was a woman getting a tattoo, who shared a personal story of insecurity that plagued her much of her life. She resorted to all kinds of plastic sugery in the hopes of being that perfect person she thought she needed to become to be happy, successful, and find love. As viewers quickly learned it didn't change her life in the ways she believed it would and she learned she had to love and accept herself for who she was.

It got me thinking about how society has left so many people with many of those same insecurities. Why do so many people feel they need to be perfect, or have certain material and/or physical attributes to be happy, successful, or loved?

When will our society ever realize it doesn't matter what one looks like, it doesn't matter what one does for a living, nor how much one makes, what they have, who they date, etc., what matters is who one is on the inside. Yet our society's insecurities run rampand, materialism and superficialism are everywhere. We are all guilty of it to some extent.

But I'd like to think we each have the ability to change the world one small step at a time. So let's stop hiring super models for magazines....let's see real people modeling the clothes we wear. Or stop believing that being a lawyer makes one better than being a trash collector. How about stop the obession with having to be a certain body type if God wanted us all to have the same body type he would have made us that way. Those are just a small examples but I think any one reading gets the point.

True beauty, happiness, success, and love are measured not by the size of our bodies, pockets, cars, houses, but by the size of our hearts. Until we as a society understand this, we will keep passing on these insecurities and false sense of what it means to be happy, successful and loved to future generations.

Monday, August 3, 2009

House Dream

Everyone has their own little dreams in life. One of mine has always been to own a house, nothing crazy just something small like a cottage type house would be fine. Something I could call my own and share with those I love.

The benefits of owning a house far outway renting. No other tenants to have to deal with, pets are allowed, and one can design, create, paint, do whatever they desire because it's theirs. Your money and time are spent being invested into something real. Where as renting is basically throwing the hard earned money into someone elses pocket.

Most days the reality of owning my own house seems very far down on the list, as it's just not something I can afford at the moment.

Often times I take the alternative way to work which allows me to view all the beautiful houses that sit nestled on the back roads. I imagine myself owning the properties, and daydream about how I would design each room and landscape the yard.

Here are a few photos of houses I like. Some small, and some a little bigger than mentioned, but all appealing in their own ways. What does your ideal home look like?

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Friday, July 31, 2009

In Honor Of Buster Bob

Today is a very sad day because Buster Bob, my sister's beloved greyhound, had to be put to sleep. Pets become part of the family, and when we lose them we grieve just as we would any family member. It's hard to even express or discuss without tears flowing freely.

Buster Bob was adopted by my sister and her husband through NGAP (National Greyhound Adoption Program). An amazing program that finds loving homes for these beautiful greyhounds. He was a former racing greyhound, to see him run was simply amazing. He often looked as if he was flying through the air.

Upon adoption they were told he wasn't good with children or other small animals but with their unconditional loving support he went on to become a very good, obedient dog....good around both children and other animals. A favorite of mine was when you asked for his paw, he would always extend it. And when told to sit he always did.

In fact, he had a gentle, loving spirit. While my dog was running laps around him trying to play ball outside, he prefered to lounge on a blanket and be rubbed. Guess he figured he had spent all those years racing so now was his time to relax.

He was also very protective.... stood guard beside my small dog Angel when walking through places such as Petsmart, it was then that we referred to Buster Bob as Angel's boyfriend. And once when a neighbor's Pitbull jumped the fence he protected everyone by trying to fend the dog off, even suffered a bite in his efforts.

And when my sister had a baby he stepped right up to the plate and acted like a gentlemen. He never acted jealous like some dogs do when a baby comes into a family, no he instead just followed her around when she dropped food, or laid on the floor beside her wherever she was. He loved to be rubbed, loved treats, loved to be around people, he loved the life my sister and her husband gave him. They gave him unconditional love and in return he gave it back.

So it is with much sadness that I write this today because Buster Bob will be very missed. Buster Bob we love you so much. You may be gone from this life as we know it but you will not be forgotten. Hope to see you in the next life!

Photobucket

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Just One Of Those Days

Some days do you ever just feel like the world is against you? Nothing you do or try to do ever goes smoothly? Sometimes it feels like you give love to the world but that the world doesn't return the sentiment? It's as if ....no matter what you say, or do, no one seems to appreciate it? My week started off a little rough. I was feeling a little down which happens sometimes when we feel excited about something and then it doesn't always go the way we hoped. Guess I'm like a little kid in that way, I tend to get excited way in advance of something I'm looking forward to. Anyway....

In addition, lately the workday over here has felt endless. Working in a corporate environment I feel my creative side isn't getting to shine as much now. And right now I wish the flower guy would walk through the door with a bouquet of flowers. And maybe a teddy bear? Ok so that is asking a little much. haha Since that mostly likely isn't going to happen I will share a beautiful photo of flowers, something is better than nothing right? And maybe this beautiful photo will inspire others today.

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Monday, July 27, 2009

Give And You Shall Receive?

The law of tenfold return states that whatever you give will be returned to you times ten. The Bible says give and it will be given to you.

Therefore, you should give what you want to receive. If you want money, give money; if you want love, give love; if you want attention and appreciation, give attention and appreciation; and so on.

Giving is supposedly the secret to keeping money, success, health, love and happiness circulating in your life. If you’re lacking anything, whether it's money, guidance, love, or anything else, something is blocking the flow. And the most effective way to remove the block is to start giving. There's an established spiritual law that the more you give, the more you will receive.

Book after book has been written on the topic. In fact, The Secret was on the best sellers list for quite awhile. For anyone who hasn't heard of the book, it's a book based on such a theory.

All of which makes sense but what if one gives, gives, gives, and gives more but doesn't receive what they hoped back? I'm not saying I don't believe because in theory it sounds rather solid, but there are those days I tend to question it's validity.

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Friday, July 24, 2009

True Beauty

True beauty cannot and should not be defined. It was never meant to be outlined in a perfect set of measurements or a finite list of attributes.

So why is so much importance placed on the idea of physical beauty? Studies say that being beautiful often gets both men and women further in school, in their chosen careers, and in their own life patterns. Attractive employees often receive more promotions and raises than their less attractive counterparts; good-looking students do better in school; beautiful women entice men to do their bidding; good looking men inspire women to pick up the tab. Shameful as it may seem, it appears physical beauty plays too large a part in our everyday lives.

Beauty has become an obsession among those who don’t believe that grace, charm, or personality is enough to get them the things they want out of life. Many individuals who can’t achieve the perfect look resort to other factors to sway people in their favor; they use money, power, or sexuality as a secret weapon to garner whatever they want from others. Worse yet they undergo surgeries to try and become beautiful, perfect looking people.

What they don’t understand is that such actions actually detract from their overall physical beauty. People must love others for who they are not what they look like. Love has nothing to do with looks unfortunately many individuals believe it does. Those are the people who forgo real love built on stone for love built on sand which crumbles when the physical beauty does.

In truth, beauty should be looked at as a combination of physical attributes, inner spirit, personality, intelligence, and heart. Such a definition would greatly expand how the human race views the concept of true beauty. Few, if any, individuals would then been considered average, since no two people are alike and all have something unique to offer the world.

Over the years, the idea of what is considered beautiful has vastly changed. There was a time when the curves of a woman were highly sought after, while today the only acceptable look is stick thin. Such extreme beliefs are all aimed at defining a perfect beauty broken down into a combination of specific physical attributes. These may include a symmetrical body, a good complexion, youthfulness, health, and vitality. Unfortunately, it has been proven that physical beauty doesn’t ensure a beautiful spirit, and this lack can ultimately spoil the overall package.

Truth is beauty is all around us if we take the time to look past the preconceived notions and false beliefs so many of us hold. In essence beauty cannot be defined because in its true state it's something that cannot be seen or touched but is felt with the heart.


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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Sex In The News Yet Again

Another story in the news about an athlete, superbowl quarterback infact, accused of sexual assault. It has left me wondering why athletes or other high profile figures would bother to have sexual relations with people they don't know, or people outside their marriages? Or for that matter why anyone, famous or not, would choose to.

I'm sick of hearing the excuses people give....that they need variety, they were stressed, they were having relationship problems, they don't get enough at home, they are young, they were drunk and whatever other lame excuses are given. Makes me want to yell grow up, or seek help because everyone experiences such feelings but they don't act upon them or go about sexually assaulting others.

Haven't figures like Magic Johnson taught us anything? Didn't the whole Kobe Bryant incident make people think twice? How about the Craigslist psycho? Sex these days is treated so nonchalantly, yet there's nothing nonchalant about it. People forget along with sex comes the chance of diseases (some of which can't be cured), pregnancy, and in this day age the possibility of being accused of sexual assault as some of these athletes are. What most forget is that it could happen to anyone, famous or not.

So why then do so many people chose to sleep with people they don't know, don't love, etc.. And married people take the biggest risk of all because they risk hurting the one person they took a vow before God to love and protect. All for a romp in bed with someone that has the potential to later blackmail them or put them in jail? Or worse yet give them an incurable disease?

I just can't get over how nonchalant our society has become regarding sex. I've watched reality shows on tv about prostitute ranches in Nevada. Are people that desperate for sex? And craigslist has become a hot house for prostitutes offering their services secretly by advertising massages this was apparent when the craigslist incident in Boston occurred. Who feels the need to go to such places? Why would anyone want to be with someone who has sexually offered their body and touched thousands of others? Those are the people in my opinion with real issues. But then again how is that different then the people who claim they have slept with hundreds of random individuals, that's really gross too.

I understand people make mistakes, especially when they are younger. But there are enough stories in the news and internet today that one would think would make people think twice about their actions and behaviors. Even teenagers are more educated and have more resources at their disposable to make more knowledgeable decisions....yet so many still continue to risk it.

These people are asking for trouble. They are risking their jobs, health, basically their whole lives for a little sexual gratification? What happened to finding one person and being in a monogamous relationship, is that such a foreign concept? Can no one contain their needs until they find that, or once they find it can they not be happy with just having relations with one person?

I do not feel sorry for these athletes, or others, who are accused of such acts because they knowingly choose to participate in such behavior. They choose to become involved with these strangers. I'm just tired of hearing about sex in the news yet again. It's not something to be taken lightly but yet it seems that our world is light years away from ever understanding that concept.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Erin Andrews Fiasco

So I think by now anyone that has an interest in sports has heard about the Erin Andrews incident. And I've read numerous articles written about the situation, the unfairness of how women get judged for more than just the work, and even the affects it could have on future women wanting to work in sports.

It simply is amazing the way grown men become such boys when it comes to matters of the body. Take for instance Andrews video clip....men were rushing to try and find it on the internet. But why? Is it really such a big deal to see a clip of a woman naked? I just don't understand the obsession men have when it comes to viewing naked women. I guess each female private part looks so different that it has to be inspected and oogled over by the men of this world? What if it was their girlfriend, sister, or even mothers body that was being broadcast across the internet for all to see, how would they feel then?

And I agree women sports journalist are judged way to harshly. What about men sport journalists who go on air with greasy old school haircuts, stomachs that over hang their pants, or overall just poor hygiene. No comments are ever made about their appearance. And how many older women still get reporting jobs compared to the men. Not to mention how many average women do you see getting the top reporting jobs, men expect to see eye candy. Well if that's the case thenI think they should consider the female viewers and show us some male eye candy.

Back to Erin, her situation is horrible, to think her privacy was invaded like that plain sucks. And to have ones naked body broadcast all over the internet as hers was, well thats just sad.

I'd also like to make a comment that some women may not agree with but I think these women reporters also need to dress more conservatively. Don't wear tight clothing or clothing that draws attention to certain female parts if you want to be taken serious. I'm tired of seeing some of these women wear low cut shirts, or too tight fitting of pants that is asking to be oogled. If they want to be thought of as a sex object than go right ahead but we don't see the men on tv wearing tight pants that show off their packages. Just a thought.

Anyway, I don't want to even write any further because it just sucks to think about the way women are treated, and the way they let themselves be treated sometimes. There is so much more to say on this subject as it goes much deeper than just the Erin Andrews situation.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

The Butterfly

My fascination of butterflies goes back to my childhood when I was amazed by their beauty and color. The story behind the butterfly is something I learned later in life but it only strengthed my fascination and love for butterflies.

Today I came out to find a Monarch butterfly perched on my butterfly bush. So I decided to share the beauty of the moment by capturing it on photo. While sharing the photo, I thought I might as well share the inspiration of the butterfly story. Enjoy!

The story of the butterfly....

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.One day a small opening appeared.He sat and watched the butterfly for several hoursas it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly.He took a pair of scissors andsnipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.The butterfly emerged easily butit had a swollen body and shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch it,expecting that any minute the wings would enlargeand expand enough to support the body,Neither happened!In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its lifecrawling around.It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindnessand haste did not understand:The restricting cocoon and the strugglerequired by the butterfly to get through the openingwas a way of forcing the fluid from the bodyinto the wings so that it would be readyfor flight once that was achieved.

Sometimes struggles are exactlywhat we need in our lives.Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us.We will not be as strong as we could have beenand we would never fly.

Monday, July 6, 2009

A&E Intervention...how to help an addict?

Could the new series on A&E that faciliates interventions on behalf of the families/friends of addicts have helped someone like Michael Jackson, Robert Downey Jr or Heath Ledger? Or any addict for that matter? What makes an addict finally seek help or give their habit up?

Robert Downey Jr. battled an addiction for many, many years, what made him finally get clean? And other public figures like Rush Limbaugh, Nicole Richie, Elvis Presley,Paula Abdul, Heath Ledger all battled addictions to various substances from heorin to painkillers. And it's a problem that affects our whole society not just the entertainment industry.

What is an addiction anyway? Below is a link to definition of the word. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Addiction

Intervention on A&E gives an eye opening look at addictions and the lives of people it affects.

The love that families and friends have, and the desperate pleas they issue for the addicts in their lives to overcome their addictions....is very heartwrenching at times. There is a feeling of helplessness that is sad to watch.

To the outsider....we wonder why can't they just give it up. We see what it is doing to the addict, to their families and loved ones....yet they cannot see what they are doing to themselves and those around them. Worse yet the fact that so many of the these people don't even realize they have a problem.

For the most part that is the real problem....addicts don't see themselves as having an addiction or substance problem. Which becomes quite obvious when you watch the show. And many an addict will argue they can stop any time, they like it....why give up something they like. Sure they like to tell themselves they can quit at any time. Unfortunately, the reality is....once anyone takes any substance for an extended period of time, the body is going to go through a physical and mental withdrawal, which depending on the drug, is unpleasant for most.

Never mind that they don't seem to understand, or even care about the harm they are doing to their body or mind, nor the affect it has on their families, friends, or even kids. And the shows that involve kids are definitely the saddest. Back to the topic.....

It's common knowledge that drugs of any type eventually produce changes in a persons mental and physical state. Over the course of time, extended use of many of these drugs, small or large doses, has been shown to change brain chemistry....making withdrawal a painful and tedious process. Not to mention, as this series shows, even with the best of treatment, the relapse rate is very high.

So what is the answer?????

How do family and friends help a loved one with an addiction? If they deny having a problem, if they refuse help....what can really be done? Even when they admit to having a problem...what is the best treatment? Could anyone have saved Michael Jackson or Heath Ledger? Do interventions really work? The show is very enlightening in that like life, not all stories have a happy ending.

The show allows us to see how addicts become consumed with their substance to a point they don't even realize how it affects themselves, nor those around them.

They think nothing of lying to family and friends, when in reality their lies are obvious to all. The lies are almost as bad as the addiction itself. They do whatever it takes to obtain the substance including stealing, prostitution, doctor shopping, etc.. Often times becoming financially in debt, and as A&E shows many become homeless. Even celebrities have been known to lose all their money, their fame, and even families to such habits. Many an addict on A&E Intervention has gone from everything to nothing. Yet no one thinks it could happen to them.

It affects all classes and jobs. Doctors themselves are not even immune to the problem. As not every addiction involves illegal drugs....many of the addictions that do occur are to prescription medications. Many people don't even realize they have become addicted to such medicines until they try to go without them. This is what we continue to hear more about in the media as big names continue to succomb to such addictions. Addictions don't always involve drugs, the Intervention show also includes other addictions as well, such as food, gambling, sex,etc.

How do we get these people the help they need? Are shows like A&E Intervention helpful? Will they help people with such problems to seek help? And how do the people who don't have insurance or money, obtain the money to get help? It's not only about getting help but being able to maintain it.

Supposedly people claim they knew Michael Jackson had a problem with painkillers....yet it seemed no one could stop him from using them. Some allegedly tried but he only went on to seek those who would reinforce what he wanted, and push those away who truly cared. Sad but true for most people suffering from addictions.

Hopefully their deaths were not in vain and our society will learn more ways to help people with substance abuse problems find the help and treatment they need. This A&E show is definitely a good start.

Question is....how do family and friends intervene to help their loves ones with addictions and substance abuse problems get help? How do you help people when they can't help themselves? Especially the ones who don't feel they need help. That's a question a lot of people ask and will continue to ask. And after watching the show it makes you think about all the people who are in need of intervention in this country but never get it.
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